Dear Jordan Brand

You guys have officially lost me. What the fuck? I could deal with the constant retro's. The packs were okay too. But these Fusions are despicable. Which fistful of assholes in their right mind came up with this concept?

Nike x Jordan Board Meeting:

Idiot 1: Hey guys, we're up the creek without a paddle. Since the Jordan 18's have dropped, our sales have gone down faster than Brittney Spears' record sales. How can we revitalize the brand?

Idiot 2: Maybe we can just keep rehashing the same sneakers we've always had, just with shittier materials, and then release them in "packs" of two. People will think they're getting a deal when we're fucking their wallets even worse!!!

Idiot 1: No, we've already done that. Plus we can't do any more combinations unless we start having three sneakers a pack and only do the lower numbers. That would be OD; and really hard math to do. Come on guys. We've got to have some ideas.

Retard from Nike (in trademark retard voice): Duhhhhh, maybe we can make a shoe that looks like an Air Force 1 and a Jordan at the same time. We can put them together and make more monies (yes, monies). I think it would look.... (starts drooling and ceases speaking)

Idiot 1: That idea just might be crazy enough to work!!! We can even use the shitty materials we have sitting around in the China warehouses!!! Tell the production people to put Air Force 1 soles on Jordan uppers and start making the Fusions!!!

-End-

I guess when you're the biggest sportswear brand in the world, you can take a shit, put it in a box and it'll still sell like holy water. So much for brand creativity.