Dear Overprotective Parents

It's April 27, 2009. Do you know what your kids are doing? I certainly hope so. I'm sick and tired of you overprotective parents, constantly complaining about some aspect of media or consumer-society that has somehow soiled your precious little angels. Why the backlash on a Burger King ad? (via The New York Times) Do you really think Johnny and Janie are going to be maladjusted kids or have severe problems down the line because they saw a woman in rectangular-shaped pants dancing to a 90's rap song? I hope not, because in all honesty, the fact that you lambast the media for anything remotely provocative is the same reason that Johnny and Janie are probably going to be experimenting with speedballs and rounding 3rd base by the time they're 17. You overprotective parents and all of these "child-welfare" groups seem to do more damage than good, in my eyes. Not to say that Johnny and Janie are watching "Sexy Sorors" on Cinemax at 1 in the morning, but your kids are privy to much more shit than you think they are. A Spongebob commercial should be the last of your concerns, considering Johnny and Janie are not only overweight from eating at Burger King all the time, but failing school because they spent all last night playing the Spongebob video game. Maybe instead of criticizing the media, you should be teaching your kids the value of reading or how to save their money. Only in America, during a recession, would parents be more worried about a commercial than the fact that they're spending inordinate amounts of money at the same restaurant that they're criticizing. Only in America.