Dear Prospective Partners
It's a rarity that I delve into the realm of the personal in any capacity, yet certain events in my life and those of my friends warrant such a foray. To some degree, success with women isn't so much the type of man you are, but the type of woman you want. Whether you enjoy black over white, or ugly over sexy, there's guaranteed to be a woman that digs you. Yet in your travels, it becomes evident that physical assets don't mean as much in the search for the perfect woman. Women that you might think the most of, might soon reveal themselves to be the vilest of the vile, no matter how good looking they are. As a disclaimer, I'd like to say not only that this is written from a single guy's perspective, but that the archetype of a calculating female could never pertain to EVERY girl in the world. As a matter of fact, if there were a girl that could have the grace to defy the idea of a beautiful woman with a devious spirit, I would promptly make my presence known to her. Regardless, these women do exist, and for that reason I write this letter to prospective girlfriends of the world.
Prospective girlfriends (not really feeling that word), I honestly enjoy the thought of you. It's the one most exciting parts of a relationship. It more or less sets the tone for any further dealings and familiarizes the partners with one another. It's at this point you learn about the dealings of that female. I ask of you, prospectives, that you stop shielding off parts of your being to achieve a facade, or better yet an air of flyness to yourselves. Not only will we as prospective partners find out about your treachery, whether sexual, moral or ideological, but also your status will drop off faster than Loon's career. Next, please don't be flaky. Nothing is worse than a person who goes back on their word, especially with no remorse for their Slytherin ways. Your word is your bond, so don't go saying one thing and doing the opposite. Finally, make the effort to see things from our side. Sex is a weapon and women carry the golden gun with the silver bullet. Men have a hard enough time understanding women without that. If empathy is had, a relationship has the potential to reach the stars.
Upon writing this, it was directed at women, but the letter really is pertinent to both sexes. Both could benefit from following those three rules. And more importantly, the terrible tragedy of relationships going sour from devious, dirty and Syltherin-esque ways will finally be done for...
Dreaming is fun...