Dear Overzealous Parents

The picture says it all...

via The NY Daily News:

A Manhattan mom is suing a pricey preschool for dumping her "very smart" 4-year-old with tykes half her age and boring her with lessons about shapes and colors. In court papers, Nicole Imprescia suggests York Avenue Preschool jeopardized little Lucia's chances of getting into an elite private school or, one day, the Ivy League.

She's demanding a refund of the $19,000 tuition and class-action status for other toddlers who weren't properly prepped for the standardized test that can mean the difference between Dalton and - gasp! - public school.

"This is about a theft where a business advertises as one thing and is actually another," said Mathew Paulose, a lawyer for the outraged mom.

"They're nabbing $19,000 and making a run for it."

Impressed by the school's pledge to ready its young students for the ERB - a test used for admission at top private schools - Imprescia enrolled her daughter at York in 2009. A month into this school year, she transferred the child out of the upper East Side center because she was forced to slum with 2-year-olds.

"Indeed, the school proved not to be a school at all, but just one big playroom," the suit says.

The court papers implied the school could have damaged Lucia's chances of getting into a top college, citing an article that identifies preschools as the first step to "the Ivy League."

I've always been happy with my parents... Always. Even when they annoyed me into oblivion, placed ridiculous (at the time; now I know they were for the best) restrictions on me, and found every way to make me miserable, I know it was because they wanted to see me succeed. That's generally what any parent wants. It's what a parent should want. But what happens when a parent takes championing their child and their child's need for success too far? What happens when the most innocent times in a child's life, such as preschool, become sullied with aspirations of post-secondary grandeur and accolades? What happens when something as sacred as playtime isn't treated as such, but as a gateway to Ivy League matriculation? Such is the case today, where Nicole Imprescia of the Upper East Side in NYC (now you know it's getting hoighty-toighty!) has decided to sue the York Avenue Preschool for 'ruining' her child's chances at an Ivy League education.

First of all, since when have sandboxes, Legos, stuffed animals, finger-painting, monkey bars and those cool rainbow parachutes become a barometer for success? While attendance of preschool has been proven to raise a child's chances of success in the long-run, I'm pretty sure that there's not a minimum price that guarantees that a child will somehow become Goddard. As a parent, getting your Neiman Marcus knickers in a bunch to push your kid into the Harvard of preschools is a waste of time. At that point, every child has the same chance of becoming a genius.

Second of all, why is society trying to push kids who just left toddler-dom straight into adulthood? As far as I'm concerned, all a 4 year-old child cares about during that period is what color crayon they want to scribble on the walls and where to wipe their boogers after a good old-fashioned gold-digging session. The last thing on little Timmy's mind during recess is whether he wants to major in English or Biomedical Engineering at Harvard. Show me any 4 year-old child who knows what Harvard is, much less what college is. Instead of worrying about your child's still burgeoning educational development, how about you let your kids go get some friends and develop social skills naturally?

Third of all, what kind of whackjob of a mother sues over something so silly? The only thing being won in this case is a whole boatload of negative press for little Lucia once she does get to college-age. I guarantee that whatever school she does end up applying to is going to go into their archives (because we all know in 14 years, that nothing will be private) and see her mother on the front page of some parenting magazine looking like Tipper Gore at a Odd Future concert: ridiculous. Is that really what a parent would want? What are you going to do when your kid gets into any type of trouble? Are you going to sue your kids' bullies when he scrapes his knee? Are you going to sue the opposing basketball team when your kid suffers a last-second loss? I hope not. Here's my advice, overzealous parents: Let your kids be kids. Let that rugrat go get dirty and enjoy what little innocent time he has before society poisons him with consumerism and he loses his natural wonder and honesty...