Dear 50 Cent

Another year, another repetitive marketing ploy from Curtis "50 Cent" Jackson. Don't you think it's about time that you found another way to sell records? I mean, the Ja Rule beef was funny and well-received, considering that nobody really was down with Murda Inc. (apparently it's The Ink, now) at that point. The Fat Joe beef was somewhat silly, but most people can understand that there's a transitive property when it comes to rap beef. When it came for the Jadakiss / D-Block beef, we all knew that you had gone too far, especially when Jada roasted you, and you had no response. So why, why on earth, why in the name of Gangstalicious (we all know that that was you Aaron McGruder was evoking), would you stoop to trying this plan again? Moreso, why would you try it with Rick Ross, a man who had never uttered a single bad word about you? So what if he's affiliated with DJ Khaled, who's affiliated with Fat Joe? The transitive property can only reach so far before it becomes ridiculous, 50. What makes your beef-mongering (pause) even worse is that your album sales have dropped faster than Superhead's drawers. If you keep it up, you'll self-destruct before you can even release Before I Self-Destruct. It doesn't help your cause, either, that Ross has two bangers out (see below), as opposed to your extra-whack feature on Eminem's crap-fest "Crack a Bottle" (see above). Officer Ricky or not, Ross is going to have you beat (in record sales and overall hotness) if you keep messing around with retarded Youtube videos instead of actually putting out hot tracks. As rap beefs go, the music ALWAYS, and I repeat ALWAYS, speaks louder than any ploys or stupidity outside of it. Hopefully you get it before you have to put out another G-Unit album to make up for all the money you lost when yo tried to outsell Kanye.