Dear Cassie and Christina Milian

First off, I'm going to completely disregard the fact that you guys are B-list celebrities and basically accessories to bigger stars. Bringing that up would throw my argument off completely. I'll also disregard the fact that neither of you are particularly talented musically, and are more apt to get muted than turned up on most TV's. That would be hating. Regardless, nothing, and I repeat, NOTHING, makes those hairstyles a good look. Since when are you a hipster Cassie? The last time I heard from you, we were listening to your innuendo about how good you were in bed. Your new track doesn't actually follow any sort of rhythm. And Christina, I suppose the Dream has a thing for dumb blondes now. Didn't you already have a bad song with Ja Rule? Both of these R&B croakers are clearly having mid-career crises (I definitely said I wasn't gonna go in on their careers, but whatever). That's the only explanation for doing that to yourself. The only other follicle faux pas I've ever seen as bad as those was this lady:



But anyways, I guess I'll leave you to your worthless Twitter promotion and sub-par music. Hair like that is punishment enough without mad niggas laughing hysterically at you. Hopefully your voice coaches are better than your hairdressers.