Dear Brett Favre

Talk about love of the game. Brett, I understand that you get like a 11 year old girl at a Jonas Brothers concert when you get on the football field. I understand that it's the only thing that you've ever really been good at, besides being a typical Mississippi boy and drinking until you think the sky is fuchsia. I even understand why you had to leave the Jets after you seemed to have retired for what seemed like the 5th time. Now, it's getting old. Don't you think it's time to move on? Maybe go have sex with your wife, join a charitable foundation and do more Wranger's commercials? Do whatever you want. You just need to retire. Playing for the Vikings might seem like a good idea, but I don't suppose you'll be feeling that childhood joviality when your arm is more contorted than Ray J's sense of self-importance. Trust me it's not worth it. There are certain things that are better during their primes and no longer cut it afterward. You just might be one of them...

Should Have Gone Out on Top:
George W. Bush (nuff said)
LL Cool J (when you put out an album and no one knows its out, please retire)
Barney (after purple became the de facto gay color, it just went downhill)
Pokemon (I hear they're on Pokemon Burgundy now)
Ricky Hatton (if you haven't seen the knockout, please come out from under the rock)
Nelly (see LL Cool J)