Dear Times Square

via The New York Times:

When New York City announced a plan to shut down parts of Times Square to traffic, New Yorkers’ reactions ranged from bemusement to mild hysteria.Despite reassurances from the Transportation Department that the changes would create a greener, more pedestrian-friendly city, some critics of the plan worried that it would sap the square of its chaotic energy. Others, apparently nostalgic for the seediness of the 1970s version of the square, denounced it as another step in New York’s transformation from the world’s greatest metropolis to a generic tourist trap.

In all honesty, I've always loved you with a catch: I hate walking around you!!! Tourists make Times Square into a retarded ant-hill, with half the space and the speed. No New Yorker can ever say that they've walked through Times Square and not wanted to knock the head off of some tourist or group of tourist walking five-abreast and snapping photos of the most inconsequential shit ever. And even if you haven't, I'm sure that you have at least one friend who has wanted to end the life of a tourist for walking like his head is up his ass. Regardless, T. Square, I'm going to miss dodging traffic on 43rd trying to get to Toy'R'Us and speeding up in front of tourists. I once heard that people like the Crossroads of the World because its bright lights to them are like a huge fluorescent mosquito killer to mosquitoes. I guess now people are gonna be posted up there harder than ever. Get ready to see a million of these, with their self-definition of apathy mixed with overpriced apparel: