The Mailing List: May 2009 (#1)
1. Memorial Day
I've always found the way in which we celebrate holidays to be somewhat of a slap in the face to what those holidays mean. On Christmas we give each other presents and put up pagan decorations celebrating the birth of a man who wasn't born anywhere near that day. On Jewish Holidays, everyone gets off and on Kwanzaa, no one gets off. On New Years Day we make half-assed resolutions to improve things that we should have been working one for a minute, and then drown our sorrows in alcohol when the ball drops. On Valentine's Day we drench ourselves in red and buy obscene amounts of chocolate and other regalia in celebration of love, when we could be showing love every other day. On St. Patrick's Day, hoards of potato-worshippers drown themselves in green clothing and drench their spirits in alcohol. On Easter we tell kids to go find eggs to commemorate Jesus' rise from the dead. I know it's a little harsh, but bear with me.
Now we've come to Memorial Day; the unofficial start of summer!! You can go buy a new car from Ford with their sale or hit up Macy's for their Memorial Day sale. Let's not forget the barbeque. Loosen those belt buckles so you have room for the inordinate amount of food you'll be taking in. Remember to wait an hour so you won't get sick in the pool. Sarcasm aside, on Memorial Day, what memory are we commemorating? Without the American flags thrown around and the day off, it'd be another summer afternoon. Remember what Memorial Day really means: that there are hundreds of thousands of men and women dead or facing death EVERY DAY to ensure that you can put extra chili on your hot dog without having a nuclear warhead exploding up your ass (pause). While I'm no patriot, I can concur that meaning must never be lost in celebration or commemoration. Keep your mind right and the celebration will be all the better. Enjoy Memorial Day, folks. I know I will be. (begins making PLANS)
I've always found the way in which we celebrate holidays to be somewhat of a slap in the face to what those holidays mean. On Christmas we give each other presents and put up pagan decorations celebrating the birth of a man who wasn't born anywhere near that day. On Jewish Holidays, everyone gets off and on Kwanzaa, no one gets off. On New Years Day we make half-assed resolutions to improve things that we should have been working one for a minute, and then drown our sorrows in alcohol when the ball drops. On Valentine's Day we drench ourselves in red and buy obscene amounts of chocolate and other regalia in celebration of love, when we could be showing love every other day. On St. Patrick's Day, hoards of potato-worshippers drown themselves in green clothing and drench their spirits in alcohol. On Easter we tell kids to go find eggs to commemorate Jesus' rise from the dead. I know it's a little harsh, but bear with me.
Now we've come to Memorial Day; the unofficial start of summer!! You can go buy a new car from Ford with their sale or hit up Macy's for their Memorial Day sale. Let's not forget the barbeque. Loosen those belt buckles so you have room for the inordinate amount of food you'll be taking in. Remember to wait an hour so you won't get sick in the pool. Sarcasm aside, on Memorial Day, what memory are we commemorating? Without the American flags thrown around and the day off, it'd be another summer afternoon. Remember what Memorial Day really means: that there are hundreds of thousands of men and women dead or facing death EVERY DAY to ensure that you can put extra chili on your hot dog without having a nuclear warhead exploding up your ass (pause). While I'm no patriot, I can concur that meaning must never be lost in celebration or commemoration. Keep your mind right and the celebration will be all the better. Enjoy Memorial Day, folks. I know I will be. (begins making PLANS)