Dear Teachers
There is a realization that I've come to about my academic life. It took 4 years (and counting) for me to turn this realization into an actual ideology, and now that I'm a senior I still can't fathom how this goes down: Teaching college kids SUCKS. Yes, it's that simple. And the sad part is, no one knows how much it sucks. Most of you are paid less than you should for getting large groups of sleepy, rude, self-absorbed, ignorant, 18-22 year olds buried in their phones and laptops, to recall some arcane subject that either A) is too general to mean anything to them or B) too focused for those not requiring it to care. I can't tell you how many times I've mentally checked out of a class because I simply didn't care about the material, and the teacher exacerbated that. Have no fear, though, professors. As a part of Dear Whoever's 'Back to School Week' I've got a few pointers that'll have your students (myself included), not only attentive, but wanting to pay attention and participate in class. Keep it locked this week for more school-related letters..
1. Make the curriculum, syllabus and requirments as clear and as concise as possible. Too many times the classes that we students need to take have these ridiculously convoluted class policies. Whether it's a lack of gradeable material, too much material on exams or what have you, get your administrative and logistical sh*t down pat. There's nothing more annoying than a professor who's whole class is spent trying to figure out when stuff is due or when we have to cram because they don't know. I suppose that's all a matter of organization and preparation. Yet, every year there's that one teacher who's syllabus and course direction look like he/she made it up while high off some amazing shrooms, driving to class that morning. I guarantee if your requirements are clear, then your head will be too at the end of the term. Having a clear syllabus prevents you from switching it up on us after 10 weeks and it gives us an understanding of how much we can or can't afford to slack off.
2. Drop the TA's. Seriously. It's one thing to have another professor cover for you when you either don't have the time or are grading papers or something of that nature. It's another thing to completely drop your duties as a professor and hand it off to someone less than a year removed from the same position we were. Come on. We barely want to see your faces in the morning handing out exams and lecturing us for an hour and a half. What makes you think we want some extra-bubbly, brown-nosed kid with a taste for power and not enough friends doing the same thing, trying to impersonate you? Not only do most of these heads know diddly squat compared to you about the material, it's almost an insult when they try to reprimand the classroom (think having your nana as a substitute in grade school). We don't come to school for another student's expertise, we came for yours. Just suck it up and show up. We're there, and there's no reason you shouldn't be.
3. I don't know who you guys have got to talk to about this one, but someone's got to take a stand. Because it's you, the teachers, providing the material, it should be you: FIND A WAY TO GET LESS EXPENSIVE BOOKS!!! That is really one of the things that irks me about college. If I'm going to get stuck for my paper (Biggie voice), I'd rather it not be by hunks of paper and cardboard that I can eschew reading by coming to class and taking notes. For God's sakes, one of my textbooks is over $200!!!!! Do you know what I can do with that money? Is McGraw-Hill or whichever textbook company the only entity on the planet with some of this information? Or better yet, have all the textbook companies banded together with Barnes and Noble to make some kind of 'textbook Illuminati,' destined to run our pockets and come out with the same information in a different version next year? Professors, if you're going to be the ones setting the curriculum for us, at least have some sympathy and try to use older versions, or something...
4. Enough with the group projects already, teachers. I don't like groups. As a matter of fact, groups are the reason I'm glad I'm done with all of my business classes. You guys seem to think that placing a bunch of us students together for the common purpose of writing some BS paper, that we each could've written by ourselves will help us build our people skills. SIKE. This ISN'T 'The Real World', and I'm certainly not really trying to be polite with the kid who hasn't been to class all term or the kid who'll give everyone in the group a bad grade for dumb crap. The thing is, most of us already don't want to do any work, much less get graded harshly for it. What makes you think we want to let a bunch of strangers have some bearing on our grade? I'd rather mess up a project on my own and be upset with myself, than have a gang of fools I'll probably never see again have a hand in determining it...
5. I don't think I'm alone in saying that class can be more boring than watching baseball highlights, so teachers, do yourselves and us a all a favor: BE MORE ENGAGING!!! If you're going to teach about molecules and atoms, be peppy about it! If you're lecturing on economics, have some umph in your voice! Quit reading from PowerPoints and droning on about insignificant topics for half the class. Quit trying to fish for answers from us when you're not even trying to keep us interested. There's nothing worse than a teacher with no wit and no personality in their class. It's like trying to stay awake after a 3 AM trip to Waffle House, with some soothing music playing and the warmest Snuggie draped around you: it won't work. Period. Use weird voices and stupid stories if you have to. Make fun of some of the class (that's a great way to get me interested). Hell, dress up like a clown if you have to. Do something to make me feel like I'm not hearing 'Beuller.. Beuller.. Beuller' for 2 hours...
There you have it professors. We students know your job is thankless and annoying sometimes. We just wish you would try to make it easy for us. After all, you've been through the same stuff going to school. At least try and be sympathetic and hey, maybe we'll all learn something this term (corny tie-in)...