Dear J. Cole (re: Cole World)

I was beginning to think you were going to be relegated to the fate of Dr. Dre and the artist formerly known as Young Jeezy, Jermaine. No, seriously... It has been a long time coming, but finally, the kid from Fayettenam who came to the city of New York with his beat machine and a matriculation to St. John's has released his oft-delayed debut, Cole World: The Sideline Story. I'll admit, Jermaine. I was a bit reticent to give this a listen. As of late, I'd gotten disillusioned again with the direction rap was taking; valuing names and sensation over actual skills, placing novelty over quality, and deeming anything with two decent songs a 'classic'. And in your case, I'd grown bored of your 'struggle raps'. Yet, to veer from what makes you great rapper would be stupid. I eat my words at what was a precursor to a seemingly illustrious career ahead of you.

To accurately touch on Cole World, though, I have to hearken back to a line from 'Friday Night Lights' that describes your position at the moment:

To the college kids no scholarships starting your semester / unpacking your suitcases filling up your dresser / enjoy it while you got it, after that it’s God bless ya / life is your professor, you know that b*tch is gon test ya

That line exemplifies your music, Jermaine; the hardships of transitioning into true maturity. Cole, to be honest, I feel like I've become an adult listening to you over the past two years. Your music has been the soundtrack to the strife that a college student goes through, not only before, but after graduation. Embarking on my own life's journey, it's hard not to embrace your genre of 'struggle music'. If the three mixtapes were college, Cole World is definitely the culmination of an undergraduate tenure and the start of a promising life and career. As a graduate, to see you in the throes of a world tour, a successful (by today's standards) album, and a promising future, is inspiration.

Starting off with the story of your signing to Jay-Z's Roc Nation is akin to the offer letter a grad gets from the huge firm. Add 'Dollar and a Dream III' and 'Can't Get Enough', to that, and you have the perfect juxtaposition of seeing the spoils of victory arisen from the mire of hard work. The next track, 'Lights Please', a holdover from 'The Warm Up', makes the perfect transition to the 'Interlude'. Even as a successful black man, it is nearly impossible to evade the long arm of the law. The album starts out showing how many aspects there are to such a caricature, from the diligent, to the frivolous, to the pensive, to the sensual.

My favorite song is the secondary titular track 'The Sideline Story' because it brings all of those aspects into view, along with reaching for the loftiest of goals. Your assertion that 'Can't nobody tell me what I ain't gonna be no more / You thinking I'mma fall, don't be so sure' is a thumbing of the nose to a system that tries to put everyone from college graduates to rappers and everyone in between in boxes. Rather than follow a pattern or formula, you do what is in your nature, and nothing more. In that same song you say 'Some niggas ask me why Jay never shout me out like I’m supposed to give a f*ck.' That line does wonders for so many reasons. Despite the fact that Jay is a mentor to you, and is on your album (albeit on the next song), you not needing him to cosign you is the greatest sign of independence I've seen in hip-hop today. Everyone in rap is trying to be the next Jay, and here you are espousing your freedom from that delineation. You, the graduate, the next up at bat, are standing up on your own two. Rather than look to the top for guidance, you looked to yourself, something that I want to do in my own life. Much like LeBron dropping the number 23 to leave his own legacy as number 6, you are making your own path.

Cole World goes on with another titular track that sounds as grimy as its namesake. The song, while a huge pat on the back, seems a bit misplaced. I suppose when the first half is as loaded as yours, you can't help but get a little sloppy. 'In the Morning' and 'Lost Ones' pick the album back up, juxtaposing the sultriness of mid-morning lust with the pain of fathering a son out of wedlock. Frivolity versus futility, salaciousness versus subjection, Cole, you show the duality that ails the young black. It is a weighty discussion that has been in our minds since we knew what sex was, and that you explore both sides in 'Lost Ones' is exceptional.

The album hits a short a lull after this, to me, Jermaine. It seems as if the postgrad world indeed has its peaks and valleys. A lot of the subject matter you touched on in the first half is revisited, albeit in a different manner, but still rehashed. The track with Missy, while valiant, sounded sluggish aside from Missy's chorus. 'Rise and Shine' didn't really do much for me, and seemed like a filler track that could have honestly been left out, as did 'God's Gift'. 'Never Told' takes the issues of non-communication in a somewhat roundabout way, while in an ascending fashion, 'Breakdown' shows the weakness that our generation has when faced with trying situations. Yet as the Missy song implies, no one is perfect. One of the things that our generation of young adults must contend with is learning about life while living it. That means making mistakes, and letting go of old things. That second part is the theme of 'Nothing Lasts Forever', where you recant on love lost and learning to move on. For me, that was a welcome song, having a new chapter of my life to start.

Your original lead single, 'Who Dat', is the perfect way to end Cole World, as it signals a changing of the guards. Your name is a non-issue if you continue to improve and spit flames, Cole. This album had no 'certified bangers', which honestly was a high point for me. Rather than relying on a single to do your work for you, you put out something that has to be listened to. One can't passively listen to you, Jermaine, although songs like 'Work Out' and 'Can't Get Enough' are certainly radio-friendly enough to draw a buzz. Is it a turning point in hip-hop? I'm not sure. With the way that Wayne, and Ye-Z (see what I did there?) sold, we might not see the rise of a oft-called 'conscious MC' for a while. But it starts with the college kids and graduates. #occupywallstreet, Obama's election and a new youth movement are certainly examples of this shift, and your debut album can be one of the many sounds to march to. Your ideal seems to be warming up to the world, Cole.

Chuck L.I. - Office Space (prod. by Stefan Ponce)

Chuck L.I. - Office Space (prod. by Stefan Ponce)

As a senior in college, the number one question you get every day is 'What are your plans for graduation?" The first few times it's cool, getting to toot your own horn with a quick speech on whatever plan is currently brewing up in your mind. After around December, though, you almost want to walk around with a shirt that says 'When I know what I'm doing after graduation, I'll tell you." If there's one thing I can wholeheartedly say without reservation, it's that I will LOVE anything I'll be doing. The working world is full of people who hate their jobs, and simultaneously hate their lives. This track by Chuck L.I. is for those people who don't want to get caught in the 9-5 rut... the ones who'd rather work for a passion than a paycheck... the ones who'd trade in their cubicles and generic business attire for some jeans, a t-shirt and a clean slate... the ones who want space, not office space. Chuck definitely made a fan of me with this one. Check the track out, and keep looking for your passion that hopefully provides a paycheck...

Props: Fake Shore Drive

Dear Shellshocked Black College Students

I'm black. If all it takes are some morose drunk white kids to knock my pride, then it's a sad day...

via The Daily Pennsylvanian:

Racism at Penn is usually subtle. It is a way of life, something that minorities come to accept. In class, it's usually sly comments about us. In the dining halls, it’s people talking really loud, complaining about us to their friends. I overhear it.

But this was the first time it was so blatant.

I don't know which experience was worse that night. Being called a “nigger” or being questioned about belonging here.

In retrospect, being called a “nigger” was the short-term sting. It made me more self-conscious about what white people think of me here — just some black guy who got here because of some affirmative action.

The idea of "belonging here" is the long-term wound. Ever since I came here, I have been self-conscious. You have to understand that Penn is extremely different from most schools, in that the vast majority comes from a much wealthier background. I grew up in the projects, surrounded by crime and drugs. I came from there to here without much help, and in May I will graduate cum laude.

Maybe I'm too much a cynic. Maybe I've seen so many instances like this, that it almost humors me at this point. Maybe because I went to a primarily white high school, I've been completely desensitized to such nonsense. Whatever the case, overt racism, like that alluded to in the above editorial really doesn't bother me anymore. There will always be instances where black people just get the short end of the stick in terms of what we would call 'racial sympathy'.

Whether it be uncouth and uninformed remarks during class, students deeming anything remotely related to blackness 'ghetto', or the commodification of 'blackness', black people have always been the butt of some joke at the hands of non-blacks. That such an incident was the impetus for the above editorial isn't the point of this post. No, no, no... I wouldn't dare open that can of worms and allow the masses to paint this blog as a 'hater' or as unsympathetic to the plight of my college-educated black brethren.

What I will touch upon, however, is why situations like this needn't be aggrandized in such a fashion. Black people in college, how many of you come from communities, municipalities or simply situations where being in college is NOT the norm? My guess is a good portion of you reading this raised your hands. That said, shouldn't being in college be a triumph in and of itself? As a young black male, the propensity for me to be in less-than-stellar arrangements is that much higher. Jail... Fatherhood... You name it, and there is a black guy my age, probably just as intelligent as I, who got caught up in it at the expense of gaining higher education.

So to you, shellshocked black college students, I say: be proud! You could be elsewhere. Rather than let the idiotic ramblings of some drunk white kids affect you, why not just keep it moving? Why let their clearly misinformed 'ghetto' jargon cause you to lose sleep at night? Clearly the last time they've been in intimate contact with a black person was when they flipped on 'Basketball Wives', so why validate their ignorance by acknowledging it?

Newsflash, Black college students: THIS WORLD ISN'T MADE FOR US! It never has been, and we (we, as in our generation) may not live to see the day when it is. Flip back to 2009, when Chanequa Campbell was kicked out of Harvard in connection to a murder she was in no way involved in. Flip back another 50 years to when blacks had to be escorted to school by the national guard. Flip back another 70 years to when we had to create our own schools because whites didn't believe free blacks had the propensity to read, much less learn. Come on, son... Our presence brings about adversity whether subtle like sly comments in class and bigotry in the workplace, or blatant like the situation above. You're going to be scrutinized more heavily than your non-Black peers every single day, whether you like it or not.

Sure there are folk out there that could give two craps about your skin color, and God bless their colorblindness. Yet even in 2011, racism is nowhere near dead, and that's a reality that we have to come to grips with. If you think Martin Luther King and Malcolm X would rise from the dead today and start toe-wopping because of some semblance of 'making it', you're wrong. They'd be happy to see us in a more advanced position, but still would loathe the position we as a people are in. They would laud those of us who have managed to pull ourselves up, but would see our progress for what is is: a drop in the bucket. No, I'm not saying to walk around on eggshells as if you have nothing to be proud of. Just be cognizant that this world still isn't nice. Don't be shellshocked when some idiot calls you out of your name. Just make sure you flash that diploma/alumni ring/other demarcation of your success in college, and laugh, because they will have given you all the motivation you need...

Illecism - Disregard All Turbulence (ft. Yae)

Illecism - Disregard All Turbulence (ft. Yae)

This time of year is especially rough. As a student, the impending weight of final exams, papers and other buffoonery is turning you into a hunchback, while the winter weather is enough to turn a sunny day into a disaster. That said, music is always a cure. This new Illecism track landed in my inbox and not only woke me up from a day-long funk, but is serving as a great vibed-out study song from henceforth. I suppose blogging and schoolwork should never cross paths, but at some points they're destined to collide. When they do, find yourself some tunes to ease the tension. This track did the trick for me, and hopefully can be of some use to you as well. Check out this cut from Illy's 'Molotov' mixtape...

Dear Four Loko

People would definitely pass on Four Loko if it made you look like that...

via The Chicago Tribune:

Four Loko, the high-octane alcoholic beverage favored on college campuses, is again under fire.

Michigan announced Thursday that it is banning alcoholic caffeinated drinks like Four Loko, which is produced by Chicago-based Phusion Projects and has been singled out for criticism by health experts. A day earlier, members of Chicago's City Council proposed their own ban on energy drinks that contain alcohol.

The Michigan action, passed by the state's Liquor Control Commission on a 2-1 vote, identified 55 products for its ban. The commission's decision followed recent reports of students in Washington and New Jersey being hospitalized after drinking Four Loko. Manufacturers will have 30 days to pull the banned products.

If there's one thing I've learned during college it's that drinking should be its own department, with its own courses, and degree. The amount of alcohol consumed on any given college campus weekly could flood a stadium, drowning sorrows and a plethora of aspirations and memories with it. That said, the main barrier for most college kids and their desired inebriation is that stingy age requirement. Kids have been finding ways to acquire alcohol for generations, whether it be fake ID, older friends helping them, bootlegging or dipping into their parents' stashes. Until this past year, that was it. Now we've got you, Four Loko, with your fruity, wine cooler-esque flavors, your unusually high alcohol levels and your abnormally low price.

Four Loko, you burst onto the scene before the summer, with most people mistaking you for cans of their favorite iced tea. Now, months later, college campuses and parent groups are calling for your head due to the overwhelming amount of kids winding up in the hospital or dead after knocking back a few too many of you. That said, you shouldn't be blamed for their demise, even though you were in their hands. There are a few reasons why I believe you ARE NOT guilty, and why people should check their habits before they blame you for anything:

1) Drinking alcohol is COMPLETELY voluntary. People use peer pressure as a scapegoat for everything, yet when it comes down to it, no one is drinking you with a gun pointed at them. No one is being forced to down 23.5 ounces of your blackout-inducing elixer. At the end of the day, a person who deems himself responsible and old enough to drink one of you should have to deal with your consequences. In the same way as drinking you is voluntary, so are the headaches, nausea, memory loss and health benefits that come with you.

2) You taste DISGUSTING. Yes, I have tried you, and no I will never put my lips to a can of you again (Gin and tonics are my drink of choice anyway). It's funny that nature's way of telling you not to ingest something is by having it taste like the broad side of an outhouse. You would think that young adults could master that idea. But no. They continue to guzzle you, unaware of the damage they are doing to their livers, but all the more inebriated.

3) You keep people awake. The silver lining for most drinkers is that after a night of pounding back Jager Bombs or guzzling from the tap, they can take solace in the fact that alcohol is a depressant. They will undoubtedly fall out either due to fatigue or because of the alcohol in their system. Not with you, Four Loko. You make it so that no matter how much one drinks, they will never fall asleep. Your inhuman levels of caffeine, combined with the alcohol, makes one all the more drunk but no more tired. That leads to to the inevitable: blackout drunkenness.

Four Loko, those are three things that people should know about you before drinking, but don't for some reason. It's a sad day and age where people are unable to control their urges to drink, so much so that they endanger their lives. It's even sadder when people can't fess up to there being a problem with their own habits, rather than blaming everything on the inception of a product to the market. Yes, you are the next of kin to poison, Four Loko. Yes, drinking you probably takes 8 hours off one's life. But at the same time, shouldn't people know that before they pop the top? The balance between personal and external responsibility is something that is being lost every day, with your effigy at the forefront. Sadly, that balance will never be righted as long as you're on the streets...

Dear Halloween

Has nothing to do with my reasoning, but I thought it was hilarious... Deal with it.

Let's get this straight: I've never celebrated you, Halloween. Everything I will say in this letter is a third-party observation. Halloween, I grew up in a devout Christian household, so quite frankly, I've never been exposed to all of your 'greatness'. That said, I can see your allure for small children, whose addiction to sweet treats and dressing up like cartoon characters is almost crack-like. My beef with you, Halloween, is what happens when constituents of my age bracket start planning for you.

Enter the waning weeks of October. Everywhere I go I see parties (the adult version), decorations and general regalia dealing with you. And I wonder, 'Why?'. As young adults, what really is the point of dressing in costumes to do what they do on weekends anyway? Drinking and dancing seem a lot more cumbersome when donning masks, bad makeup and other random props. Also, not to be sexist, Halloween, but your occurrence is nothing more than an excuse for women to be half naked during the late-fall freeze. Why wait until a kids holiday to do that? Why not walk around drunk in a cutoff pirate uniform in mid-January? For men, you're an even stranger holiday. What do I look like dressing up as a policeman, at night nonetheless?

It's not that I'm against you. It's that after a certain age point, you don't have any use. In the same way that Christmas loses it's magic when one finds out that Santa was indeed their father, and one's birthday falls off when their parents stop throwing extravagant theme parties, you become another day on the calendar with a funny font. Halloween, maybe it's the cynic in me causing this feeling. Maybe its the household I grew up in. Maybe it's that I hate wigs more than I hate waiting in line at the convenience store. Whatever the case, Halloween, I won't be dressing up. Sure, I'll be at the gatherings and engage in whatever buffoonery taking place. But I won't do it simply because you're here. Holidays tend to make people into fools for that holiday. Ghosts and the like aren't real. Nor are the traditions we make up. In fact, the real reason behind the costumes was to disguise oneself for the impending influx of dead spirits that would be wandering as the portal between our world and the underworld opened momentarily. Does that mean after you, some spirits will still be hobbling around? No. It means most will have spent their hard earned cents on apparel that won't be of any use on November 1st. That I can pass on... Even if my sweet tooth does lead to some serious binge candy eating. Happy All Hollows Day to my future cavities and those that won't be scraping fake blood and cobwebs off for the next week...

Dear Career Fairs

You see that line??? I'll be damned if I have to wait in line to talk to some blowhole from HR at a career fair...

Today, I went to a career fair; and not just any career fair... My school's career fair. If you know me, you know what school it is, but that doesn't particularly mean much aside from personal semantics. This career fair could have been at any school, any campus and any city. That said, this was my first career fair, and probably my last.

Career fairs, I never saw the point in you. For two hours, I get to stand and walk around, look at booths that companies looking to hire graduates and interns put up, in the hopes that one of these companies will spot my genius. Here's the problem with all of you career fairs, though: EVERYONE GOES TO THEM. It's beginning to feel like you career fairs aren't really there to help the students and the jobless as much as you are the companies that are hiring. Think about it. If a job or company is a fisherman, we students are the bait, and you (the career fair) are the water, then these jobs are making a killing. They're reeling in a bunch of prospects, 95% of whom won't ever be contacted or called back, while we students swim around in you, hoping to be noticed by the fisherman. It doesn't help that we're all told the same things when we go to you. Every year I see some 'Insider's Guide' given out by the school to instruct us on how to 'attack' you. They all say one, or a combination of these things:

1. Bring your resume.
2. Don't dress like you're going to a rave.
3. Smile.
4. Ask for business cards and promotional material.
5. Follow-up in a week.
6. Ask questions.
7. Give answers that don't make you sound halfway retarded.

That, by no means, is an exhaustive list, but for most career-minded people, those fall within the common sense realm of knowledge. Regardless, the fact that there is all of this general information being spewed, as well as a dire lack of actual employment (I say actual, because these companies can't hire every 20 people who send a resume) make you, in my eyes a waste of time. Job fairs, it's not that I'm not looking for a career when I graduate, it's just that I'd rather not be another fish in your sea.

The economic climate is one where jobs are at a premium, and are becoming more specialized and experience-based. No, I'm not certain I'll get a job right out of school, but it beats going to one of you again. If it takes all of the networking, resume-building, and handshakes in the world, you won't find me in you again, stocking up on free candy and frisbees, and kissing some schmuck from HR's rear end, while looking over my shoulder at the competition. You may sound promising, career fairs, but in the end, all you are is a huge opportunity to brown-nose. I think I'll pass...

Dear Internships

If you get assigned an internship like this, LEAVE

Monday, I tackled the teachers in the first of this week's 'Back To School' series. Today, I'm getting a little more abstract and introspective about something every student should experience or at least should explore: internships. The modern internship was created to give students the opportunity to experience their field at a (very) basic level. Sometimes it results in a rewarding duration, and other times it's a period of pure drudgery. Let's dive into that a little more...

It's funny, I've always had one of you during the summer. As a matter of fact, all of my summer jobs were internships. Working retail never suited me. Working at one of you was just a nice thing to say: (insert name here)'s working at (insert company here) for the summer, and is doing (insert tasks here). It seemed prestigious. Along with having a physical job that I had to go to, every day, rain or shine, I've grown to loathe you, in the nicest way possible. Internships, you're like training camp for the big leagues, ie: a full time position. I can't say that I don't enjoy you. Meeting new people in a professional sense, getting to experience a field first-hand and getting the perks of having a job (depending on the locale) all make you something coveted and wanted. You give students an opportunity to see an office at it's most basic level: administrative. That lends itself to dealing with office politics, professional courtesy and understanding operations, which are all beneficial. At the same time, you bring a lot of different stuff to the picture that most students don't think about.

For one, you give kids the illusion that they're actually doing something in the big picture of XYZ Company. That's not the case. Oftentimes when students embark on you, they're given the most menial of tasks, usually ones that full-time employees should do. This work, aptly titled 'grunt work' for the grunts of discontent coming from an intern, is simply given so that the intern has something to do. Next, you put students under the supervision of people, who might not be the best to be under. Oftentimes, the person that an intern works under isn't a professional in their field, but an administrator whose job it is to oversee them and make sure that they're completing what drudgery they're given. That supervisor might not have any experience in the field and sometimes might not even be open to the idea of an intern being there, leading to tension in the office. You may advertise a professional experience, but what happens usually borders on general office help at a cheap price, sometimes free. Internships, you're not all that you're cracked up to be. Overall, I'd say that you are a good look, but not for everyone. Your system lends itself to students who work well in organized, and often rigid systems, or students who are extremely proactive. If a student has a problem with authority or are slow to be motivated, you aren't the right way to spend a summer. That said, you're definitely something that students should look into. If not to know whether an office setting is right, then just to be able to tell those 'Worst Internship Ever' stories. Lord knows I have a few...

Dear Teachers

There is a realization that I've come to about my academic life. It took 4 years (and counting) for me to turn this realization into an actual ideology, and now that I'm a senior I still can't fathom how this goes down: Teaching college kids SUCKS. Yes, it's that simple. And the sad part is, no one knows how much it sucks. Most of you are paid less than you should for getting large groups of sleepy, rude, self-absorbed, ignorant, 18-22 year olds buried in their phones and laptops, to recall some arcane subject that either A) is too general to mean anything to them or B) too focused for those not requiring it to care. I can't tell you how many times I've mentally checked out of a class because I simply didn't care about the material, and the teacher exacerbated that. Have no fear, though, professors. As a part of Dear Whoever's 'Back to School Week' I've got a few pointers that'll have your students (myself included), not only attentive, but wanting to pay attention and participate in class. Keep it locked this week for more school-related letters..

1. Make the curriculum, syllabus and requirments as clear and as concise as possible. Too many times the classes that we students need to take have these ridiculously convoluted class policies. Whether it's a lack of gradeable material, too much material on exams or what have you, get your administrative and logistical sh*t down pat. There's nothing more annoying than a professor who's whole class is spent trying to figure out when stuff is due or when we have to cram because they don't know. I suppose that's all a matter of organization and preparation. Yet, every year there's that one teacher who's syllabus and course direction look like he/she made it up while high off some amazing shrooms, driving to class that morning. I guarantee if your requirements are clear, then your head will be too at the end of the term. Having a clear syllabus prevents you from switching it up on us after 10 weeks and it gives us an understanding of how much we can or can't afford to slack off.

2. Drop the TA's. Seriously. It's one thing to have another professor cover for you when you either don't have the time or are grading papers or something of that nature. It's another thing to completely drop your duties as a professor and hand it off to someone less than a year removed from the same position we were. Come on. We barely want to see your faces in the morning handing out exams and lecturing us for an hour and a half. What makes you think we want some extra-bubbly, brown-nosed kid with a taste for power and not enough friends doing the same thing, trying to impersonate you? Not only do most of these heads know diddly squat compared to you about the material, it's almost an insult when they try to reprimand the classroom (think having your nana as a substitute in grade school). We don't come to school for another student's expertise, we came for yours. Just suck it up and show up. We're there, and there's no reason you shouldn't be.

3. I don't know who you guys have got to talk to about this one, but someone's got to take a stand. Because it's you, the teachers, providing the material, it should be you: FIND A WAY TO GET LESS EXPENSIVE BOOKS!!! That is really one of the things that irks me about college. If I'm going to get stuck for my paper (Biggie voice), I'd rather it not be by hunks of paper and cardboard that I can eschew reading by coming to class and taking notes. For God's sakes, one of my textbooks is over $200!!!!! Do you know what I can do with that money? Is McGraw-Hill or whichever textbook company the only entity on the planet with some of this information? Or better yet, have all the textbook companies banded together with Barnes and Noble to make some kind of 'textbook Illuminati,' destined to run our pockets and come out with the same information in a different version next year? Professors, if you're going to be the ones setting the curriculum for us, at least have some sympathy and try to use older versions, or something...

4. Enough with the group projects already, teachers. I don't like groups. As a matter of fact, groups are the reason I'm glad I'm done with all of my business classes. You guys seem to think that placing a bunch of us students together for the common purpose of writing some BS paper, that we each could've written by ourselves will help us build our people skills. SIKE. This ISN'T 'The Real World', and I'm certainly not really trying to be polite with the kid who hasn't been to class all term or the kid who'll give everyone in the group a bad grade for dumb crap. The thing is, most of us already don't want to do any work, much less get graded harshly for it. What makes you think we want to let a bunch of strangers have some bearing on our grade? I'd rather mess up a project on my own and be upset with myself, than have a gang of fools I'll probably never see again have a hand in determining it...

5. I don't think I'm alone in saying that class can be more boring than watching baseball highlights, so teachers, do yourselves and us a all a favor: BE MORE ENGAGING!!! If you're going to teach about molecules and atoms, be peppy about it! If you're lecturing on economics, have some umph in your voice! Quit reading from PowerPoints and droning on about insignificant topics for half the class. Quit trying to fish for answers from us when you're not even trying to keep us interested. There's nothing worse than a teacher with no wit and no personality in their class. It's like trying to stay awake after a 3 AM trip to Waffle House, with some soothing music playing and the warmest Snuggie draped around you: it won't work. Period. Use weird voices and stupid stories if you have to. Make fun of some of the class (that's a great way to get me interested). Hell, dress up like a clown if you have to. Do something to make me feel like I'm not hearing 'Beuller.. Beuller.. Beuller' for 2 hours...

There you have it professors. We students know your job is thankless and annoying sometimes. We just wish you would try to make it easy for us. After all, you've been through the same stuff going to school. At least try and be sympathetic and hey, maybe we'll all learn something this term (corny tie-in)...

Dear Campus Police

Without a gun and a badge, what do you got?? = Great words from Eazy-E

DISCLAIMER: Do not take this post as my disdain for college law, security or police. I, by all means, am a law-abiding citizen; just a cynical one who sees the folly in modern law enforcement.

Picture this scenario (cue dramatization music):

A typical Saturday evening in a typical college town. The town is slightly rural, but with a burgeoning minority population that is riddled in crime and angst. The students are well-educated, yet somewhat sheltered, and looking for something fun to get into on the weekend. They all go to (insert fraternity, sorority, organization, group of friends) house party, where there is alcohol being served by a responsible adult, to students over 21. Although the party is growing in size and rowdyness, it is still under control due to a stringent door policy, and the attentiveness of those throwing it.

All of a sudden, raucous is heard upstairs while the party is blaring downstairs. Police and campus security have entered the house and are now forcing the students out of the house. The bouncers that were supposed to be protecting the door and students are now doing the same and in a much more aggressive fashion. Curses, yells and threats are given and received from the police. Upon exiting the house, one sees 12 squad cars and a paddy wagon outside and 20-30 officers armed with guns and tasers. It's something out of a John McClane movie. The police continue their threats and cursing at the students, even though they've all left the house and are wondering what the issue was. Word comes in that there was a shooting down the street. The police and campus security fail to adequately inform the people in charge as to the nature of their action. In fact, they threaten arrest to those asking questions, while fumbling over their reasoning, citing their superior's orders. The night comes to a close with 6 kids getting arrested for what the police called 'disorderly conduct'. (END Dramatization)

Now, campus security, I realize that story may have been a bit awkward for you, but it's a story that happens way too often, and even more often gets misconstrued by law enforcement. Campus police, or public safety, or whatever you want to be called, there have been too many times that I've seen you overstep your boundaries. Whether it is entering a domicile that you weren't invited into, using excessive force to subdue a student, being lackadaisical or neglectful while on the job, or just being plain old unqualified for your job, I've seen it all. They don't call you rent-a-cops for no reason. That said, why is your presence always unneeded when you do show up, but never present when needed? Why is your first thought at a rational question to accost, and hopefully arrest the person asking? Why do you fraternize with students on some occasions and take advantage of your position at other times? If these questions are getting too heated, then, by all means, arrest me. Just know that free speech, no matter how scathing is my right as a law-abiding citizen and student.

I won't get into where the above story came from (the people involved know what happened), but those events could happen anywhere, on any slightly-small liberal arts college campus. Campus Police, it goes without saying that students, administrators and yourselves are working towards a common purpose, to create a safe, enriching environment for students. I commend that and hope to work toward a similar end. However, when you guys go from enforcing the law to adding your own interpretation and following it blindly, there is a problem. People without college education can see that. Why can't you? Do the badge and uniform give you such a great feeling of power, that you forget what life without them is like? If so, I hope you sleep well at night. Your inferiority complexes and abuses of power are sickening. Until Campus Security make the campus secure in a way that doesn't infringe on students' rights, this is the song stuck in my head:

Dear Morehouse

Hope you guys aren't looking for a college education...

via The Maroon Tiger:

The policy outlines 11 expectations pertaining to what students should not wear while on campus. Instead of requiring certain articles of clothing, as a typical dress code would, the policy details those articles of clothing deemed unacceptable for students. Some of the expectations discussed in the policy include to prohibit wearing “sagging” pants, women’s clothing and headwear. The policy will be distributed to students electronically through TigerNet and the school website. The policy will also be outlined in the student handbook and discussed in Crown Forums for students.

Okay, so I'm a little late on this one (blame my lack of computer), but it still hits home all the more. Let's get this straight, oh prestigious black college: sagging pants is wrong. The sight of a young man's undergarments based on the lowness of his pants, jeans or what have you, is one of those things that elicits the wrong type of attention. Not only is your behind more prone to drafts (and other forces; my imprisoned brethren can tell you that), you get boxed into a category that few people want to be in, and the ones that are in, don't care: HOOD. To the average non-black person, sagging pants are more or less a flag that say 'CROSS THE STREET'. I can understand your concern at such things, Morehouse.

HOWEVER, Morehouse, where do you guys get off telling your students what they can and can't wear? To me, this is the age old voice of the past negro, telling the present negro that he can't be who he wants. The old guard is essentially trying to dictate the substance and understanding of the new guard. Morehouse, and more specifically President Michael Franklin, what is the last hip-hop record you've listened to? When is the last time you've talked to one of your students (who doesn't have his lips firmly planted on your backside)? Hell, when was the last time you even knew what was relevant in the lives of your students? Not that I'm denouncing your plea to make the black youth of America more workforce-ready, but at what cost does this come? It's like you're the Man, trying to whitewash the students into this 1950's-esque vision of collegiate life, where everyone is in bed by 11 and no boys are allowed in the girls dorms after dark. Get with the 20th century. College kids may not dress the way that you think they should, but does that discredit them as students? Does the learning not get into their heads as easily if they have sagging pants? I don't get it. Stop trying to get the 'black' and gay' out of your students. Legislating tastes and preference is the government's job (oops), not the education system's. Maybe if you weren't looking at college boys' butts (double oops) all the time, you'd know that...

Graduatin' Ain't Shit - sent by iGoon

So, ummm, if you were following Dear Whoever earlier this month, you would have seen the two letters about college (here's the one to freshmen, and here's the one to the colleges themselves). I wanted to include some verbiage for all my college graudates. Unfortunately, I still haven't graduated yet. So, I had to get some knowledge from my man Ricky (aka InternetGoon; check the blog and the Twitter). Check out his take on being a graduate...


Smile!! Unemployment is right around the corner!!

If you didn't know, the iGoon is a graduate...I looked the word up just in case I wasn't and it means: a holder of an academic degree or diploma. Pretty simple..I've been a graduate all my life..

It first started in Kindergarten where I was prone to taking naps, kissing girl under tables, and just being a great kid. I didn't go to Pre School...I didn't need that shit..My preschool was my sister teaching me my ABC's and 123's...And by the look of it I turned out great..haha..

Then the next time I became a graduate was from Elementary School...5th Grade was actually good..I went around having different girlfriends..I actually had one girl that I took to the prom (yup we had one) and I used to call her using the house phone while I hid under a table in the living room..I didn't want my parents knowing anything so I tried to be very discreet...I wonder if it worked...By the way I was mayor of my school...All I did was make announcements on the PA speaker, get free periods off, and went on a free trip to DC...Pretty good...

Now we're in middle school...Big boys...I lived 2 minutes away from my school...I found a love for sports and became a solid athlete..Had a couple girls, experienced some major kisses...Escaped on freshman friday..(Basically every Friday, if you were a freshman you were bound to get beat up by the 7th and 8th graders) Not only was I fast as hell but I knew the upper classmen so no one was touching me...I graduated and it was great...

High School was one of the best experiences...I went to a boarding school in Delaware...did some great things..found my first love...made some great friends...had the best classes ever..was taught by the best teachers ever...I would definitely go back and experience it again...Damn...Some great times and great stories...Great graduation in which I was sad as hell..cried all over the place but I had to move on...

I moved on to college...To be honest, I didn't know there was an institution after high school..Sometimes you get so comfortable with high school that all I knew was Harvard, Yale, Princeton, and other Ivy Leaguers that I didn't have plans or dreams for college...But I made the move to a great college in Chestnut Hill, MA...Didn't like it first but realized that it would become the greatest place for me..Alcohol, women...education....more alcohol, more women...An abundant amount of nearby schools..It was just the place to be...

Now this is why graduating ain't shit...I ain't got no job...And yeah I could hide under a rock and blame the economy but fuck that...It's hard as hell out here in the real world...I wish I would have known what life would be like because I definitely did not sign up for this crap...I'm getting tired of people telling me the same thing, I'm getting tired of unpaid internships (I got bills bitch!) I'm tired of people saying "It'll get better." I haven't given up..Cause if I did I wouldn't be here..But this shit is rough..I remember last year I wrote an article saying I won't be jobless at this time next year...SMFH...Here I am, jobless...And don't get me wrong, I worked my ass off in college..It may not seem like that to you but I really don't give a fuck..I networked with what I thought were the right people...But if my connectors can't do any connecting then I'm fucked...

I got loans up my ass...It's getting real...It's not a fucking game...Now if I had a job would I be writing this article? Nope...Hopefully I get somewhere and some door opens...My resume is out there in the hands of people I trust, opportunities like blogging for Dr. Jay's may open some shit...But who knows...Right about now, graduating ain't shit...

How do you feel? I leave you with this great skit from Kanye's "College Droput"

Dear Colleges

So, ummm.. Yeah. We tackled the freshmen in college, providing them with wise words to guide them through the insufferable bullshit factory that is college. Today, we're gonna extend a helping hand to the people that make all the bullshit possible, the colleges themselves. This is more tongue-in-cheek than the previous post, so if you're an administrator, please don't cut my financial aid or something stupid like that. It's just jokes (kinda)...

So, now that school is in session (for damn near everyone but me), all the financial aid bills are coming in, classes are starting, and everything is going back to norman ($10 to anyone who can tell me where "back to Norman" came from). But alas, is everything really gravy on college campuses? In short, no. If you ask the average college student if he's completely satisfied with his experience, I guarantee he'll have more than a few gripes to send to the Dean. As with any institution, there will be imperfections, but it seems like college is becoming infused with more and more BS by the day. Check out some ways for our higher educations institutions to raise their standards even higher:

1. Step the food up. No, I'm serious. If you ask 9 out of 10 college students what they could improve on campus, this is the first thing. I'm 100% sure, I'm not the only undergraduate student on the planet who's tired of nasty meats, under or overcooked veggies, rock hard cookies and brownies, bad conditions in eating places or the ubiquitous lack of food at times. It's a sad day and age when we have to be subjected to meal plans that take our money more than take our appetites down. Seriously, stomach viruses aside, I'd love to see a college campus whose food is as good on orientation day (with parents in attendance) as it is in the middle of November. It always seems like the food on campus gets worse and worse as the year goes on. My stomach and wallet shouldn't be subjected to that. I'm sure out of the fifty stacks you're squeezing out of your thousands of students, you can find some guap in there to give us food suitable for students not inmates...

2. (via the incomparable Joshua Bennett)Increased diversity would be a pretty good idea. Not that I have a problem with people of any background, but it would be a nice touch to see a different mix in my classes. For those of you not culturally savvy to see through the hidden meaning in my rhetoric: I'm tired of being the only black kid in my class. Yeah, I've been doing it for a while. Yeah, I can still blow people's minds if they get into racially charged arguments. But once, just once, I'd like to be able to sit back and let the discourse take place without everyone looking to me for the "black opinion". On another note, diversity doesn't just mean race. It means people of different CULTURAL backgrounds, whether different economically, educationally, regionally, or whatever. It's not enough to put an insert in your brochure talking about how many different races attend the school. It has to be a concerted effort to get ideologies of every kind into the melting pot. We as students would get a lot more than diplomas if that were the case...

3. Public safety, and campus police, BACK OFF. Whether it's random interrogations because of less-than-silent music, impromptu parties broken up, being accosted for strange "smells", or just the stare of Johnny Law making me uncomfortable as a black man, campus police 9 times out of 10 are not the answer. Not only do these rent-a-cops have no real authority over us, other than to call the real police, their understanding of the law in and of itself is shaky enough. I've seen public safety officers violate the rights of my peers on numerous occasions, entering into their domiciles without warrant, holding them against their will and even beating them unjustly in public. These men and women aren't real police officers for a reason, and I don't think it's because cities are running out of funding for them. Perhaps more attention should be paid to the spirit of the rules rather than the enforcement. Perhaps the rules should be revised. I'm not an administrator, so my bearing on this issue is strictly one-sided. However, for the few actual risks to campus safety, there seem to be a great deal of officers standing around annoying students. 7-11 is a mini-mart, not a campus safety hangout...

4. Cut the bureaucracy. No, this is my biggest gripe of all. College is such a business. Though the websites may say .edu, and they may seem all warm and fuzzy on the brochures, colleges are truly out for one thing: money. By that token, you guys will stop at nothing to make our money, your money. If I'm lying, give me back a substantial amount of my tuition and you can stop reading this post. But, given that I am right, why is it that when my money comes into play, you guys can take all you want, but the prospect of giving turns a college into Ebenezer Scrooge? Why is it that I can be put on hold for 30 minutes when trying to determine my financial aid status for the year, but you can call me immediately when you want to collect money? Is it just me, or have the educational and enrichment aspects of college gone haywire? Even before college, we have to pay to take a test that evaluates us for college. Hell, we even have to pay to apply for college. Don't get me wrong. I understand that higher education has its price, but somewhere a line must be drawn. Stop squeezing me for ever penny I have, and educate me in the way you so eloquently swindled me into buying into three years ago...

5. Speaking of educating me, stop understaffing your classes. If you as an institution are going to be swindling my money away for whatever maniacal purposes have you, at least make sure the classes you purport to have are there. Seriously, I'm tired of trying to register and having each class I WANT and NEED to take filled up by God knows who. To me, if you see where a class is in high demand with a low supply, the job of the college is to meet that demand by adding an extra supply of classes (simple economics, right?). That way every student who wants a certain class, gets it. If a class is damn near empty, then why even have multiple sections of it? Doesn't that seem counterproductive? Hell, doesn't that seem plain old stupid? It does. So why then are colleges struggling to find classes for their students? Maybe I'm crazy, but the practice of understaffing academic departments just so you don't have to add an extra section is robbery, especially when the department is a strong point of the school. Teach me what you need to, and stop making me take a muddled, circumspect route to my diploma...

That's all for the colleges. It's sad that in a day where higher education is a must, the purveyors of that amenity are finding ways to swindle us students into an underwhelming version of it. Administrators can never complain about unhappy students if they aren't willing to simply address the (pressing) needs of their students. Not to gripe or bitch or whine, but are any of those demands that egregious? They seem like pretty reasonable things to ask of colleges. Readers, what do you think? Is college a starting to rip you off? Do you wish they would give as much as they take? Toss some comments either at my e-mail or in the box below and listen to another college themed jam...

Dear College Freshmen

Yo, yo, yo... It is the first week in September, which means only one thing: back to school (HAHA to all of you because I don't start till the 20st). Now, I'm far removed from the recess and rigid class schedules of grade school, so I decided to do my own back to school lists. Here's the first, addressed at those mindless young'ns that invade campus every fall, the freshmen:

Now that orientation's over, and you've shaken what seems like every hand on the planet, and those dreadful 101 classes are coming up, you're starting to wonder exactly what this whole college thing is all about. You see all of the upperclassmen coming back from their summer vaycays and it might be overwhelming. Well, let me tell you, it isn't. College is an amalgamation of the same bullshit from high school, just on a wider and grander scale. Also, this bullshit has the potential to set you back over $40,000 if you're not careful. But have no fear, Junior is here to set you straight and let you know what the dilly is with freshman year. Listen closely, because you might not get this from anyone else:

1. Meet as many people as possible. I know you hate dapping people up and risking getting their cooties just for some ritualistic greeting, but the point of college in this day and age is NETWORKING. Get out there. Join clubs, play games, strike up conversations and become the extrovert you've always wanted to be. Not only will you probably not get another chance to do this for another four years, expanding your social circle can only benefit you in the long run when it comes to finals or getting into parties for free on campus. Don't be a dorm rat. Meeting people also makes you better at talking on the fly. Because everyone is on 'people overload' you only really have one impression to make. Be sure that it's a unique one and that you're not just a face in the crowd, which brings me to my second point.

2. Do not, I repeat DO NOT, try and reinvent yourself drastically. I know a lot of people consider college a chance to make new friends on a whole different steez than it was in high school. While your identity in college should change from that in high school, don't switch it up to the point that you lose who you were. That not only leads to confusion on your part but makes for messy situations with your new and old friends. So, don't go all "The New Guy" and try to make yourself something you're not, because it will come to the light soon enough.

3. Experiment. No, I'm not talking about doing speedballs off a girl's stomach or mixing every alcoholic beverage known to man in a Death Cocktail. But, in college, you will be exposed to a host of new activities and ideologies, which you should keep an open mind to. There's no shame in trying something, not liking it, and keeping it moving. There is, however, something wrong with hating something having never tried or experiencing it. I'm not specifically referring to drugs, either. College is THE last chance you'll have to do new, interesting and even dangerous things without the risk of losing everything you have in the "real world". Make sure you take advantage of everything there is to offer, so you have no regrets after you get that diploma.

4. Speaking of diplomas, which are the reason you are in college (DON'T GET IT TWISTED!!!), here are my tips for getting the most out of your academia (this is a recreational post, but something needed to be here about the books:

- DO keep all of your syllabi, so that when the term is over, you know what you studied, what you didn't and what you need to cram all night for.
- DO make the effort to go to your classes. I know that 7 AM Bio Lab is a drag, but missing it can hurt more than help you. Some professors grade on attendance and participation, which are basically free points. Take advantage.
- DO take advantage of down time. In college, you're not always going to be partying or going down Slip-N-Slides on the green. Do some work and at least TRY to get that 3.0 you promised your parents.
- DON'T take more classes during the term than you can handle (at least during freshman year). Just because you graduated at the top of your class and got a 4.0 in high school, doesn't mean you can do it here. Learn your limit and make the best of it.
- DON'T be that guy in your classes. No one likes the professor suck up, the guy who asks too many questions, the guy who is always late, the guy who snores loudly in the back or the guy always hung over and smelling like stale beer. It behooves you to make your class experience as smooth as possible, and all of the above personas can make shit bumpier than an acne commercial.
- DON'T forget to make friends in your classes. This is self-explanatory. Although you might not be one for group study sessions, having notes from other classmates is more precious than gold, especially if you have NO CLUE what's going on in the class.

5. Back to the fun. Keep your exploits on the low. I can't tell you this enough. If you're going to smash a chick / dude, make sure only you and that person know. There's nothing hot about having an audience for that walk of shame the morning after. In college, gossip spreads faster than warm butter on toast. By that token, if you're going out there broadcasting who's digging out who, your dirty laundry will be out to dry before you could even wash it.

6. For the most part, after a few months you'll want no part in the campus dining options. Not only are they hastily and unlovingly prepared by a fat man with a hairnet on, they are most likely laced with laxatives to keep you "regular". So do yourself a favor. Learn how to cook, so that you can eventually wean yourself off of the atrocious mess they didn't tell you about as you were feasting on filet mignon when your parents were there. It's an invaluable skill that can come in handy on those hungry nights when Ramen noodles just won't do. Also, the freshman 15 (it's starting to become 30 around my parts; Q-Rich out this bitch!!) is no bueno during summer vacation, which is all the better to learn how to throw down in the kitchen for yourself...

7. Keep in contact with a select few friends from high school and your family at home. Your best friends from high school will most likely still be your best friends, given that they followed rule #2. Never, ever burn bridges unless you have other means of transport. Like I said before, college is about connections and networking. Even if you and the crew aren't as tight as before, you'll still have a foundation to connect over, which can and should never be broken. In terms of family, make sure to give mom and dad a link every week or so, just so that they know you're not dead and that their hard earned pensions aren't going towards massive consumption of alcohol.

8. In terms of dating, leave the cuffing until you're an upperclassman. Don't go into freshman year with a significant other. Even if you make it through that first six months, chances are, both of you will have changed more significantly than phone calls, text messages, e-mails, video chats, letters and vacation meetings can display. Not only is temptation rampant in college, you're much more likely to have a fulfilling freshman year if you're not constantly tethered mentally to another person hundreds of miles away. If you must hold on to that relationship, at least make sure your transportation options are well-rounded. But for the most part, just drop the high school sweetheart. She / he will probably be digging someone else out by year's end anyway...

9. Last one. Be your own person, in the existential sense. I said it numerous times in this post, but here goes again: This is probably your ONLY time to do some of the things you'll see in college. So just do it. Stay up late, dress like an idiot, make stupid videos, laugh loudly, make peace, jump, run, learn, live, breathe, understand and experience. It'll be worth your while and you'll come out of college with much more than a diploma...

There you have it froshies. Enjoy freshman year, check back for another college post tomorrow and check out the quintessential college song...