Dear 'Booty Pop'

I'm not going to lie. I am an ass man. I'll enjoy enjoy a shapely derriere any day. However, upon unwrapping my 'present' (we're going to try and keep it PG-13) if I found you, a Booty Pop, I would be turned off. You see, Booty Pop, you are like the crowning achievement in false advertisement. Whereas the Wonderbra added cleavage to what was already there, you more or less put platform boots on a metaphorical midget. What's even more troubling is the fact that the commercial features all of these slender, skinny white women looking to add that 'lifted booty' (what is a 'lifted booty'?). I can't help but feel like you would have been laughed laughed at two years ago, when Kim Kardashian was merely Ray J's supple co-star. Regardless, is thick becoming the new 'it' thing? Every which way we look, we see video hoes girls getting butt implants and injections. I suppose the mainstream way to achieve that affect is through padded underwear. Booty Pop, your aim is a valiant one, but why taint something that no one wanted 3 years ago in the first place? I'm sure by then Kim Kardashian will be another reality star in rehab, and mainstream Hollywood will want to return their 'lifted booties' to the 'As Seen on TV' store...