Dear Chris Brown

Negro, what is this? Have you lost your mind? You're not John Cusack in 'Say Anything'. Son, why did it have to come down to this? I feel like at this point, you need to just pack it in and move on. First you guys made up and had a romantic getaway at Diddy's mansion. Now, you're getting tattoos with B-list reality TV stars (via MediaTakeout) and then getting told to get yo' shit outta Rihanna's house (you better call TYYYROOOONNNNEE!!!). I don't know Breezy. Your shit might have just hit the fan. Not only are you getting arraigned, you're singing forgiveness songs to a chick who you clearly will never get back with. Maybe it's time you just take a bow. But you know what? This whole case will definitely add to your street credibility. Next thing you know, Ice T and Bishop Don Magic Juan will be your best friends. Keep that pimp hand strong, Chris. Pimps up, hoes down.