Dear New Jersey Nets
You know your season is fucked when Jason Kidd is blocking Brook Lopez..
Mediocrity has never been so talented. It's a shame that the tri-state area has to deal with two bummy teams, much less one that hasn't won a game since last season. Instead of make fun of you guys, I'll tell you what you need to to win some games. First of all, get Trenton Hassell out of the game. No, seriously. Think about that sentence. Why is Trenton Hassell even in the game?? The man has never averaged over 10 points per game and is a chronic journeyman. The fact that he has been starting this season just shows how inept your franchise is. Put a real swingman in the game and stop trying to make a fort out of a molehill. Second of all, stop bullshitting yourselves into thinking that Yi Jianlian is anywhere near an NBA player. When he isn't riding the bench being a 7-foot insurance payment, he is busy getting bitched out in the post and taking stupid shots. He's been in the league for three years and has barely cracked 65 games each year, much less average a respectable PPG or RPG. Jianlian, if anything, needs to bring his ass back to China and get some good work in.
Thirdly, teach Devin Harris and Brook Lopez how to run the damn pick and roll. You have arguably, the quickest guard in the league, and a big man that my friends like to call Shaq Lopez, because he can simply be dominating. Put those two together with a Nash and Amare-esque pick and roll offense, and success is inevitable. Fourthly, since this season has basically been thrown away, you might as well give your young players some PT. Keep Chris Douglass-Roberts in the starting line-up because he's been playing well. Let Terrence Williams and Sean Williams start so that the young team as a unit can start coming together. Let Courtney Lee, Keyon Dooling and Jarvis Hayes come off the bench, and there you have a nice little 8-man rotation. It's simple as that Kiki. All you have to do is take advantage of your youth and hope that some cohesion comes out of this year. The losing streak WILL end. You just have to put yourself in the best position to end it and stop believing that you can tank this year. LeBron will most likely NOT come to New Jersey, so use what you have, stop acting like an inept franchise, and maybe this blight will pass...
PS: Kiki Vandeweghe, you are a punk for throwing that interim coach out there for the record-breaking loss. Take control of your team and do the dirty work necessary to turn the boat around. Lord knows you don't have anything else to lose...