Dear Sarah Palin

I was not aware that taking interview tips from a high school debate team was the latest in cutting edge political strategy, Sarah. Hell, if I'd known that that's how you end up getting nominated for the Vice Presidency, I would have more notes on my body than Weezy F. Baby. But seriously, Sarah, everything has kind of taken a tragic, yet hilarious spiral since you and Old Man McCain lost to Barry and Joe. It's a foregone conclusion that you're trying to stay in the spotlight and maybe squirm your way into the 2012 election. That said, you haven't really gotten much good press this year. From your daughter's illegitimate child being born, to you joining the evil empire of FOX News, to your war against the word 'retard', to your own property tax woes, nothing you do right now is making me think you even have a shot of knocking Barack off in 2012. After seeing him rally the country's legislature at the State of the Union, and then verbally destroy the opposition, seeing you look at the notes on your hand is terrible. It's like watching Michael Jordan dunk on 5 people at once, then seeing a worse player airball on a layup. Sarah, you'd better get your act straight in the next three years because that was sad. Maybe you should invest in a telepromtper, or even MEMORIZE what you want to say...