Dear Occupy Wall Street

Ohhhhhh, so that's what it's about? Show that to every conservative and 1-percenter on the radar...

The Internet has a way of aggrandizing things so that you think a lot more of them than they really are. Sometimes you have to see something for yourself to get a good idea of what the point is. I could go on an on with euphemisms to segue into what I want to say here, but Occupy Wall Street, upon my 2nd visit to your site, it's a miracle I didn't see your mission at first.

The American political/economic/social malady has never been a secret to me. One look at half of the political posts on this blog, and a reader knows that there is something seriously wrong with the direction our country is going in. Occupy Wall Street, you are a result of that, not because you are doing your job to a tee, but because you are giving something to talk about. That's not a bad thing, but it has the potential to be turned against you, because of how overarching your goal is.

To draw attention to the vast inequality, rampant injustices and ridiculous faults of our system is your goal, OWS. Being down at Zucotti Park gave me that perspective, but Middle America won't see it the same way. Violence, anger, misdirected and misinformed protests and general hoopla (have always wanted to use that word in a sentence) are what will draw their attention, and not the actual issues at hand. For two weeks, your movement was seen as a fringe movement. Add some high-profile appearances like Kanye West, Talib Kweli, and Russell Simmonds, and you've got the press' ears. Add some heated standoffs and violent shows from police to your pot of brew, and NOW you've got the rest of the world watching. Why is that? Why are you relegated into the realm of 'noise' until something bad happens? Is that what America is really about? Is your plight just background noise, destined to be talked about for a few more weeks until they 'deal' with you?

Look at even the way politicians have reacted to you. The right wings say your a bunch of dirty hippies, underachieving liberal arts students and homeless gathered over nothing, even though the Tea Party makes WAY less sense. The left wing, even though they lay in the same bed of lobbyist and corporate money, has latched on to you, hoping they can ride a populist, working class wave all the way to victory in 2012. At this point, you're nothing more than a prop, OWS. While you may be formless, leaderless and all-encompassing, you're going to have to soon adopt a serious stance so that you can't be boxed in. It's even ironic that your lack of parameters has resulted in parameters placed around you by the media and politicians.

OWS, I started out in support of you, became disillusioned with my first visit, got back some zeal in the second and am somewhat wishy-washy about you now. It's not because I don't agree with your goals, or that I've given up hope that some sort of rational discussion about our country's system can come together. It's because your own nature makes you impossible to follow. Idealistic, Utopian or what have you, it has to end somewhere, and you don't even know where that is. Yes, protests have been popping up in other locales, but to what end? Don't sit there and tell me about the 'revolution'. I've listened to more Gil Scott-Heron than you know, and the revolution damn sure won't be televised, much less tweeted, Facebooked, Tumblr'ed. But how do we draw the line between sensationalism and actual constructive movement?

OWS, that is your struggle: to find legitimacy without the controversy that litters most politics, to bring attention to something that should have been attended to years ago. Our society is one that emphasizes the frivolous and fleeting for the important. It's like you couldn't have been a better movement for a worse time, OWS. The country needs the discourse you bring. Though I'm not convinced most Americans will be able to see through the noise to the actual problems that plague their nation, I think enough will pay attention to that something gets done... Maybe not a 'revolution', but something. I suppose the same lack of clarity in goals that you began with has to bear on the lack of clarity in an end. We all have to start somewhere...

Dear Hallmark

The person who gives me this will need more than his fair share of 'Get Well' cards at the end of the day...

via NBC:

In the business of selling sentiments, there's a card for everything, from traditional occasions to unique needs: cards with sound, cards for holidays, cards for losing a tooth. But losing a job?

Yes, now there's a card for that too. Hallmark recently rolled out a new line of layoff greeting cards.

Stores have a specific section for job loss and recession humor, offering words of support and encouragement. With the unemployment rate at nine percent, the company says customers called-in the need.

One card reads "Don't think of it as losing your job. Think of it as a time out between stupid bosses."

So... On today's episode of 'Life Sucks, You Don't Have a Job, and Corporations are Trying to Squeeze You Dry" we have... a corporation trying to squeeze you dry because you don't have a job and your life sucks! Yes, yes. Hallmark, you have stooped to a new low of recessionary fun with your new 'Layoff Greeting Cards'.

Once a bastion of hope, happiness, and well wishes, you too have felt the sting of financial woes, and in true business fashion have switched your tune up faster than Pookie went back to the crackpipe. The undeniable warm and fuzzy feelings that usually accompany greeting cards seem to have gone by the wayside, it seems. What I don't understand, though, is why you felt that even in this time of economic despair, you felt the need to still try to turn a profit. Have you no shame?

Look around, Hallmark! The country is in its worst economic rut since the Depression. Our government is making as much leeway as a snail going uphill. The threat of nuclear holocaust grows greater every day. More reality television is being produced as we speak, while protesters at Wall Street get pepper-sprayed to no avail. The last thing the country and consumers need is a $3.99 pat on the back from you guys. All of the marketing 'genius' you put into this could have easily been invested in a much more constructive avenue.

Never mind the fact that you even thought that this was a good idea. Who was your target consumer in this decision? What insensitive schmuck would buy a card for their loved one's layoff? I can't begin to imagine the rage that would emanate from my eyes Cyclops-style if someone ever presented me with a greeting card of consolation for being laid off. In fact, I'd be more upset that they spent the $3.99 on your product, instead of just giving me a handshake and the classified ads.

Yes, Hallmark, the recession sucks. But we don't need you to tell us that. As I sift through every job board I know and e-mail every professional I've ever come in contact with, I can't help but wonder how the prospects on employment wit your company are. Given your pride in releasing this depressing news, I can only assume that business is booming in your hallways. Even so, if Obama has his way and the American consumer has his way (both iffy propositions in their own) I'm pretty sure you won't be offering this promotion for too much longer. HAPPY LAY-OFF!!!

Dear KFC

Fried chicken... Fly vixen

via The Washington Post:

LOUISVILLE, Ky. -- Yum Brands Inc. is targeting Africa and other emerging global markets for expansion for its venerable KFC chain that has become a dominant fast-food player in China but has struggled in the U.S. Louisville-based Yum said Wednesday that it expects to double the number of KFC restaurants in Africa to about 1,200 by 2014. Yum projects that KFC will grow into a nearly $2 billion brand in Africa within four years and will contribute more than $100 million in profit to Yum's international division, which excludes China - which has its own division.

"Africa has tremendous opportunity," Yum Chairman and CEO David C. Novak said during the company's investor-analyst conference in New York. "It's a great emerging continent, and we have a chance to really lead in that business."

KFC is already a leading brand in South Africa with more than 600 restaurants. The chain has a small presence in a few other African countries.

"We're using our South African base as an opportunity for us to ... enter other countries," Novak said.

The chain will expand with restaurant openings planned in such places as Nigeria, Ghana, Angola and Zambia. The company said it expects franchisees to invest about $500 million in Africa by 2014.

Ever think the Illuminati someone is listening in on your conversations and taking your ideas? Or better yet, ever think the jokes you make are a lot more close to truth than they appear? That's how I'm feeling right now in reference to the above news story, KFC. Now, it's been high time since I've written a letter, mainly because nothing has piqued my interest. Today though, KFC, you made for a finger-licking blog post.

The irony in your modus operandi is so thick that only your gravy could compete. It's no secret that your restaurant is failing on numerous fronts. From the assertion that your chicken is more processed than Sarah Palin's appeal, to the Double Down's artery-clogging chicken goodness (sarcasm), KFC, there's not much left to conquer in the United States, much less any losses you can take. My issue, or question, here is simple, though. Is this racist? KFC, the pervading stereotype for this century is that people of the black diaspora tend to enjoy chicken of the fried variety. Fried chicken is an American phenomenon that has yet to take hold worldwide, which was putting a major dent in your international pockets... At least in the developed Anglo-Saxon world. By that token, your move was damn predictable. In fact, I imagine the meeting to decide to pump more chicken into Africa as something like this:

Corporate Head 1: Seems like our shareholder value is dropping... Maybe we should cut back on the artificial flavors, coloring, and preservatives?

Corporate Head 2: Noooo! are you crazy??? Those chemicals make our chicken finger-licking good, and make it so we don't really have to cook or prepare the food! Why mess with a formula that works? Besides, I have a tip that might make us rich again!

Corporate Head 1: Are you thinking what I'm thinking?

Corporate Head 2: You know it, man!! Let's pump our cardiac arrest-good chicken into Africa! You know what they say about black... (looks at concerned African-American board member) Africa? Emerging markets always take hold of American fast food!

-END-

From the perspective of a young black male, this is Chappelle's Show-worthy comedy. The amount of possible insights into your reasoning could outnumber the stars, but at the end of the day, it's pretty obvious why there's a huge 'X' on your map of Africa. Rather than make better food or try different marketing worldwide, you guys are running to the Motherland with the hopes of making bank. It's business, I understand. Yet, at what point can we be real with the fact that stereotyping and racial stigmas affect our decisions? Does there have to be a huge sign that says 'Black People Enter', or have you guys already thought of that? Whatever the case, KFC, you can't run from what such expansion looks like, no matter how you try to sugarcoat it. No race is as compartmentalized as blacks, and it's only a matter of time before other racial minorities are in that same fold. Call it expansion, development, or what have you. It will never erase the stigma, much less keep you from making out like bandits in Africa. Then again, hasn't every other entity that's come to the continent? History lesson aside, I see you KFC. I see you...