Dear Apple

#shoutout to Engadget for the flicktures

Okay, first it was the Mac, then the iPod, then the iPhone. Now it's the iPad?? Yeah, I'm not buying it, guys. And I mean that in every sense of that euphemism. Apple, to tell you the truth, the iPad looks impressive. If anyone walked up to me with it in hand, here would be the conversation:

DRAMATIZATION (because I clearly don't speak this way)

Me: WOW!! What's that??
Friend: It's the iPad!! It's really neat, isn't it?
Me: Yeah, it looks like a winner!! What does it do??
Friend: It goes on the internet and does e-mail and you can put music on it and take pictures and do word processing and has a wicked awesome touchscreen and...
Me: (interrupting) So it's a computer?
Friend: Noooo, it's an iPad! Check out how good the 3G coverage is!
Me: So it's a phone then?
Friend: Noooo, it's an iPad!
Me: (blank stare) So it's a phone and a tablet computer at the same time?
Friend: Noooo, it's an i... Well, yeah. I guess it is a phone and tablet computer.
Me: That's pretty cool... What are you going to do with your iPhone and your Macbook?
Friend: (blank stare)

END

Therein lies the problem, Apple. Most people are probably not going to drop $499 (Why don't companies just say $500?) on a second computer with no keyboard, much less one that costs another $30 a month to use (via AT&T's data plan). You guys at Apple have gotten so smitten with innovation and finding ways to meld every device together, that you've made something useless to 90% of the market. Sure, someone that has neither computer, phone or MP3 player will piss his pants when he sees this. But how many people do you guys know who DON'T have a computer, phone or MP3 player? In fact, I dare you to find ONE person who doesn't have any of the three. If and when you do, you need to sell that iPad to each and every friend and relative that that person has.

Apple, I've long been a Mac, and will probably continue to be a Mac after this post (given my Macbook doesn't shit itself again). That said, it's pretty funny to see the entire internet on hold just to see something that we already knew was going down. I laughed when I saw the iPad because I was expecting something out of this world and saw a product that most likely could have been made 2 years ago. Kudos Steve Jobs and Apple. You guys have successfully duped Americans into believing that anything Apple-branded is made by God. I hope the iPad does the numbers you thought it was, because somehow I don't see it happening. But who am I to judge? I'm just another Mac user. The iPad still looks cool...