Dear Valentine's Day

I couldn't resist putting this flick up!

So, before you sit there and say to yourself, 'Sheesh, here's another heartbroken, bitter tirade against me by some hopeless romantic without someone to spend my day with,' you should know this, Valentine's Day: Yes, I am a hopeless romantic. Yes, my heart's been broken more times than I can count. Yes, I am bitter. However, V-Day, there is no hate coming from my side this year.

Eros, or erotic love as we know it, has made you into a day for lovers, and that concept has been eaten alive by the media, card companies and by the saps good people who believe yours is the day of love. Yet, I've come up with a rebuttal for your tantalizing hold on our hearts, Valentine's Day: When your not in love with someone else, it's time to love yourself. That said, I've prepared a list of things that make life worth loving. Rather than pine over lost loves and recount the 'what-ifs' constantly circling my mind, your day will be spent doing and experiencing self love (get all the masturbation jokes out now.. *waits*) and the beauty of remembering that oneself is enough. On your day I will:

- Be listening to the most ignorant, asinine, non-erotic music known to man. Whether Waka Flaka Flame, Gucci, Wayne, 50, Old Jay-Z, Big L, Linkin Park (#shoutout to Hybrid Theory for being my high school soundtrack), The LOX (not D-Block), Cam'Ron and Dip Set. Not only will that be some good old fashioned n*ggadry floating in the air, any thoughts of romance will be vanquished by that of guns, money and utter testosterone. V-Day, I don't need your R&B playlist to have a good day.

- Be wearing a neutral color. There are two types of people during your day: The saps great people who are decked out in red and whatever regalia of your day, and the Debbie Downers rocking black as a 'protest' to your rosy air. Neutral colors will give off the atmosphere of a regular day, not one marked by foolish affections. Rather than fall victim to either love or hatred of you, it's better to stay in the middle.

- Do inordinate amounts of homework, job searching, and (hopefully) blogging. Maybe I'll even work out. Anything.. Something that'll benefit me. One of the things that we abandon while searching for 'that one' and running around like decapitated lovebirds is an appreciation for getting things done. People use you as an excuse to take the day off 'in the name of love'. Valentine's Day, you're a Monday! As far as I'm concerned, it should be business as usual and will stay that way.

- Hang with the people that will always love me: my friends. People get so caught up in you, and being 'boo'ed up' that they forget they have friends... Friends that share stories and ideas, and have smart conversations about stupid things, and insult you mercilessly, and make those 'single life' moments all the more memorable. Who needs a Valentine for your day, when you've got friends?

- Get a good night's sleep. One thing I always notice on February 15th is how tired everyone is. Whether from an evening full of 'activities', to an all-night argument, to sitting up pining, people come in to work or school looking more famished than the Israelites traveling the desert. Rather than bother myself staying up (and I'm a night-owl to the core), I'll be asleep at a reasonable hour and wake up at such an hour. That's better than living nocturnal for one night, then taking the entire week to catch up on sleep. When the lovebirds are falling asleep at the wheel or making depression-caliber financial mistakes while dozing off on the trading floor, I'll be completely coherent and ready to rock on the 15th.

Valentine's Day, it's not that I hate you or that I'm trying to distract myself from thinking about you. It's that I'd rather live and love the other 364 days of the year, than try and have a 'memorable' day with you. It's not that I wouldn't like a significant other. It's that I'd rather focus on being the best me for the day that woman walks into my life. If I'm focused on you, I'm missing out on every other day that I could be pulling out all the stops for ME, not a likeness of romance that you've injected into everyone else's head.

V-Day, I appreciate your recognition and the 'wonders' (subjective) that you've done for the expression of love worldwide. That doesn't mean I'm going to be another love-blind drone spewing my heart out all day. To boot, eschewing your idiocy will most definitely be showing some SERIOUS love to my wallet. At the end of the day, not only will I be well on the road to being the best me possible, you'll mean that much more in the event that next year I'm not spending it single. So, V-Day, I say live and let live. You do your thing, I'll do mine, and maybe we can talk in another 365...

Dear Valentine's Day

All the Charlie Browns out there can relate...

There are soooooooo many things I could say about you V-Day. So many. I could call you a corporate creation, a devious idea devised by Hallmark and DeBeers to capitalize on our romantic insecurities. You could be the crutch that Hallmark relies on, since no one really buys greeting cards anymore. You could be an excuse for everyone to rush to their local Walgreens at 5:57 today to pick up various red-colored and heart-shaped wares that lose their value in 2 days. That's the most popular reason for hating you these days, so I'll go somewhere different to keep from beating dead Cupids horses with sticks. I could call you a day of exclusion and isolation for those unfortunate enough to not have a significant other, but that would be me being bitter and angry at my own lack of romance. It would certainly be easy, but probably the most depressing letter I've ever written. No one likes to be reminded of the fact that they're alone, so I'll steer clear of that one too. I could call you a lot of things, but instead I'm going to pose a hypothetical:

What do people born on February 14 do?

Simple, yet puzzling isn't it? Seriously though, V-Day. If a person's birthday just so happens to lie on February 14th, their personal day of conquest and admiration turns into a lovey-dovey heart-fest. If the person decides to go to dinner, they're privy to the oodles of couples playing tonsil hockey, whether its Applebee's or Mr. Chow. If the person goes to work or school, they're subject to everyone trying to infect them with the Red Fever. If the person turns on the television, they have to watch bad Valentine's Day episodes of every show, from the Seinfeld to Sesame Street. Hell, if they want to go to the movies, they have to be tortured by the sight of a movie, dedicated to your namesake and ideology: that love can conquer all. It's like there's a hex on today if you're single or don't feel love's oh-so-icky (taking it back to kindergarten) pull. V-Day, I don't buy it, nor will I be buying anything.

No, this isn't an 'I hate love' post, nor do I intend to take money love out of your pockets heart, by disparaging the lameness love that goes into your day. If you're meant to touch a couple, then do your thing V-Day. If someone happens to have a storybook ending on your day, then that's just peachy (the opposite happens so much more often than we like to admit). Just know that my Sunday, and my weekend will be dedicated not to you or any significant other. I will be bumping the hardest, hood-ded-est, ignorant of all hip-hop (Ready to Die is inevitably part of that playlist), writing some more of these blogs, and watching NBA All-Star Weekend, hoping that the Red Fever comes nowhere near these shores. Valentine's Day, ironically, instead of loving others more after you, I love myself all the more, as selfish as that sounds. Hopefully more people do the same instead of having insulin shock delivered in a heart-shaped box...

How can any sane, single person not want to murder the creators of this movie??