Dear Diddy

Diddy, Diddy, Diddy, you've long been the culprit of my ire because of your ridiculous penchant for being overly flashy, but this takes the cake (birthday puns haha). Honestly, I've never seen such an unneeded showing of wealth as when I turned on the TV and watched you shower your son with gifts for his 16th birthday. Though, I cant't deny that I would give my children at least one birthday blow out each, there is a limit. There are entirely too many things wrong with they way you're doing this whole parenting thing.

First of all, why in God's name would you ever bless a 16-year-old, who hasn't driven a day in his life, a $400,000 Maybach?!?! It's not like he's got pressing business to attend to on his way to high school, using the wireless. It's not as if he has to have a glass of Ace of Spades on his way to soccer practice. Hell, the Maybach came with a driver! What really was the point?!?! Second of all, what is the deal with all of the conspicuous consumption? What kind of parenting manual were you reading, that told you stuffing a stack full of $20 bills into your child's pocket was the way to show your children love? When you do that, you're basically shouting to the kid in Ebonics: MONEY CAN BUY YOU HAPPINESS!. Also, you're ensuring that your son will never want to do a hard day's work in his life. Third of all, why at the end of the party did you decide to donate $10,000 in Justin's name? That's unbelievable! The car you bought that kid could have fed an entire village, so to make up for it, you shaved off 10 stacks. I suppose when you're that rich and arrogant, helping out by signing your name is the least you can do in the face of overspending and inane celebrity appearances. Like I said, celebrating the triumphs and milestones of your children is a must. It's just when that in and of itself turns into *gasp* an MTV reality show...