Dear Entry-Level Employer

We all need the right job... Not just 'a' job.

I'm writing this letter for my generation... for my friends, roommates, epoch, what have you, who are on the precipice of what adults would call 'adulthood'. Since my graduation from undergraduate college, my life has been filled with wanted ads, Craigslist posts, Monster.com profiles and resume-writing, all in search of you, an entry level employer. Your presence is what fuels every college career fair, resume workshop and self-imposed library-lockdown. You make it so that without you, the last four (or five, depending on who you ask) years are seen as a waste by everyone outside of my generation.

Entry-level job, I won't comment on where I am in my search for one of you (this blog has to keep something private). Everywhere I look, my friends are essentially losing their wills to live their dreams because they have to look for one of you. Whether it's to pay off college loans, placate parents, or just so that we're not in line at the soup kitchen, if we don't have one of you, times get rough.

In this economy opportunities are running slim, not to make that a scapegoat. Yet, our prospects can't help but make us dismal. We can go to events and send cover letters for eternity, but the fact is, the average unemployed citizen stays that way for nine months. For graduates that's a double strike. Not having years of experience over older job-seekers. That might make you wary of hiring us. It can be a strenuous process on both sides. Even so, we both have to be fair to one another. That said, here are some pointers:

1. I will not be losing my soul to one of you. Call it what you want, whether it be career exasperation, quarter-life crises or cognitive dissonance, your emergence leads to a crossroads of sorts: whether to continue following some semblance of 'going after my dreams' or to join the ranks of the employed with one of you. While most of my compatriots take the latter road, and find themselves burned out by a decent-paying job that they hate, I vow to leave if ever I feel the same way. It's not you, It's me. These days, no one is happy at their job. The recession made it so that people have to take on positions that they wouldn't normally take on, just to make ends meet. Yes, the poorhouse sucks. But I'd rather take my chances than go bald and have an aneurism at 24 due to work related stress and depression. Wouldn't you rather have the right employee for the position, who feels vindicated by it, than an unhappy laborer who can't wait for 5:00?

2. I am not expendable. As much as college graduates outnumber the Israelites on the way to Canaan, that doesn't mean that we are all the same. Nor does it mean that one graduate is the same as the next. Take the time to learn that. Generic postings such as 'high GPA needed', 'top college', 'go-getter', and 'high achiever' are like trying to sell fake iPods at a flea market in China. Stop trying to cast a wide net so that every graduate with a pulse will apply to you, and tailor yourself so that we know what we are getting into. Like I said, I am not expendable and you should treat me as such. I have ideas, cool stories and probably more expertise on a computer a lot of entire office. Regardless of how many rolodexes you have filled and continuing education seminars you've hosted, you can't possibly have potential that I (as a younger, more technologically adept employee) will have. Know that. Believe that. Understand that I will be in your position soon. Do you really want to be the employer that undervalued the college graduate with the 'next big idea'?

3. Pay me! No seriously, pay me. Please. Do you see what's going on in the news? The rich and huge corporations are making a killing and have been doing so for the past decade. I know your (probably) corporate bank account has more commas than an English sonnet. That comes with the territory of a lot more employers than before. Stop trying to reel us in with promises of 'Great commissions' and 'Incentive-based pay'. No. For all of the 'not-in-the-job-description' caliber work that I will most likely be entrusted with, it behooves you to pay me what I am worth, especially if I'm doing my job well. The bottom of the pyramid makes it so that the point can look good. Underpaying your employees, especially entry-level ones makes it so that YOU are the expendable ones. Tired of employee turnover in the lower rungs? Stop paying recent graduates peppercorns and give us an incentive to want to stay with one of you.

4. Make the job at least worth talking about. Account Executives, Account Associates, Executive Associates... They all do the SAME thing: get business for whatever firm in question. At this juncture in the economy, jobs are like Dunder-Mifflin paper: maybe not the same, but all serve the same function. Yes, pay is important. But what is your company doing to make it jump out at ME? Is there travel involved? Are there company outings? Firmwide streaking? Health benefits? Networking events? Happy hours? Take your pet rock to work day? Anything? Do something to make that 9-5 seem a little shorter. There's nothing worse that a job that offers nothing but work. In that case, the employees usually offer the bare minimum too. That company might not be around for much longer.

I think those are fair. Like I said, I won't remark on where I am in my job search, but I will be looking for one of you that fulfills those four needs. Maybe those aren't even as specific to you, as they are to jobs in general. We know it's a recession. That doesn't mean jobs have to become these lifeless, dreadful places that you want to leave as soon as you walk in.

Entry-level employer, I can guarantee you that I'm a top-notch employee with a track record to improve it. It's just that you guys aren't what you're hyped up to be, and signal a serious crossroads in our lives. In our complex journey for self-actualization, and as a recent graduate, your appeal has to be more than a salary. My greatest fear in life is having my paycheck be my bane, and I'm sure I can find 100 other grads thinking the same thing. They don't call us 'the Future' for nothing. We'll work. We'll slave. We'll blow your company up. (in the best way possible) Think of it as the 'it' that makes the salary not even register in our minds, the quid pro quo that makes both of us happy. I'll hold up my end of the bargain. Will you?

BitCoins: The World's 1st Digital Currency

With the current world economic climate, it's becoming clear that the American dollar, among other currencies, is becoming weaker and weaker as our domestic and foreign policies continue to falter. As this happens, inflation rises, prices go up and income goes down, the world looks for a new way to acquire goods. In the beginning days, everyone provided for themselves, and bartered for everything else. If you didn't have it, someone else did, and you'd better have something that they wanted if you wanted it. Then came bullion or gold used as a medium for transaction, where the weight of the gold indicated its value. As the world began to run short of gold, they began using fractional value to create the paper money that we use today. Finally, as paper money grew thin, the credit market arose so that if you didn't have it now, you could pay it back later (debatable). Now that the credit market is beginning to fall apart due to speculation and over-borrowing, it seems as if online is the way to go, as is the case with most things nowadays.

Enter BitCoins: the world's first digital currency. The coins are generated through an algorithm that will only allow for 21 million by 2040. Additionally, bitcoins can’t be frozen (like a PayPal account), can’t be tracked, can’t be taxed and have extremely low costs as opposed to credit. The resulting feeling is that bitcoins will be a viable alternative to physical or credit-based money, given the world governments don't crack down on them, which is becoming more likely as of late. PayPal and the credit card companies have already halted their transfer, as they cannot (or do not want to) exchange currencies legally. Additionally, governments seem poised to take action against them because bitcoins completely eradicate the need to use gold or federally-based forms of currency. Also, at around $6.70 per bitcoin, the average person would never take that risk. Yet the idea is an enthralling one. It's taking the power away from the government and putting it in the hand of the user. Also, it can be used on the black market to buy anything from drugs to playing poker, so the government also has vested interest in taking them out. Overall, I can see this idea only taking shape if governments are willing to admit that their money is losing its worth. Maybe by that time, I'll have saved up enough bitcoins where I won't need dollars...

Dear Warren Buffett

I BANGS with this white man...

via ABC News:

In an exclusive interview on "This Week," Warren Buffett, Chairman and CEO of Berkshire Hathaway, told Christiane Amanpour that the rich should be paying more taxes and that the Bush-era tax cuts for the wealthy should be left to expire at the end of December.

"If anything, taxes for the lower and middle class and maybe even the upper middle class should even probably be cut further," Buffett said. "But I think that people at the high end -- people like myself -- should be paying a lot more in taxes. We have it better than we've ever had it."

The full Buffett interview will air on a special Thanksgiving edition of "This Week" focused on The Giving Pledge, a major philanthropic effort spearheaded by Buffet, and Bill and Melinda Gates. The billionaire brushed aside Republican arguments that letting tax cuts expire for the wealthy would hurt economic growth.

"They say you have to keep those tax cuts, even on the very wealthy, because that is what energizes business and capitalism," anchor Amanpour said.

"The rich are always going to say that, you know, just give us more money and we'll go out and spend more and then it will all trickle down to the rest of you. But that has not worked the last 10 years, and I hope the American public is catching on," Buffett explained.

It's ironic that sometimes the most well-off people in the world can be the most well-intentioned and well-read. When we think of wealth, we have a tendency to couple it with ignorance and selfishness, regardless of whether the person displays those traits outwardly. Wealth usually is coupled with those things as a subconscious way to keep that wealth, rather than say, donate it to those less fortunate. Such is the story of your case, Mr. Buffett. For the past decade the 'World's Richest Person' contest has been a two person race between you and Bill Gates, with your wallet weighing in a little heavier over the past few years. That said, you aren't like most billionaires, whose concerns only detail how they're getting their next buck, and who they have to run over to get it.

In a harrowing show of grace, you, Bill Gates and a number of other of the nation's wealthiest have pledged to give away a tremendous amount of your money to charity, which is commendable. Yet, that isn't even your most gracious act. With your platform and fame, you've spoken out against our 'bi-partisan' government and the GOP's plan to preserve the Bush-era tax cuts for the wealthy, a group you're a part of. Not only does your stand make all the sense in the world, it's probably the most honest assertion that a rich man has made in the past decade.

Warren, you're the richest man in the world. By default, you have to know a thing or two about money, how it's made, how its spent and where it's going. We'd have to be pretty stupid not to heed whatever warning you give about the nation's finances. That you essentially endorsed Obama's agenda to end those tax cuts is indicative of your financial prowess. To the contrary, only a truly dumb financial mind could endorse the tax cuts and be certain that they are the best route for the country. The tax cuts enabled the rich to get richer while the rest of the country languished in unemployment and lack of cash. Even better is the fact that you said the rich have 'had it better than ever'. Forget hearing it from the horse's mouth! You are the horse!

Warren, I think the best part about you speaking out is that you are in such a high and powerful position. For every bullsh*tting Republican and Tea Partier spitting out that malarkey (a favorite word of mine) about tax cuts for the rich helping the economy, you can be there to tell them different, AS a rich person. I wish more of the nation's wealthy were as honest about political economy as you were. Not only would the country not be in an almost insurmountable debt, we probably wouldn't even have to deal with a Tea Party or Sarah Palin or any of this balderdash we call 'bipartisanship' today. Oh, to dream...

P.S.: Yes, I know that if things happened your way, that you'd still have a substantial amount of money in your pocket. I think if the government stopped accepting money, you'd still have money. The point is that you're not so blinded by cash that you can't take an objective stance on the nation's financial health. That has to be worth more than a bullsh*t pledge by the GOP...

Dear Warmongers

via Newser:

A $40 million prison sits in the desert north of Baghdad, empty. A $165 million children's hospital goes unused in the south. A $100 million waste water treatment system in Fallujah has cost three times more than projected, yet sewage still runs through the streets

As the U.S. draws down in Iraq, it is leaving behind hundreds of abandoned or incomplete projects. More than $5 billion in American taxpayer funds has been wasted _ more than 10 percent of the some $50 billion the U.S. has spent on reconstruction in Iraq, according to audits from a U.S. watchdog agency.

That amount is likely an underestimate, based on an analysis of more than 300 reports by auditors with the special inspector general for Iraq reconstruction. And it does not take into account security costs, which have run almost 17 percent for some projects.

It's one thing to propose a controversial plan, have the plan not work, and then admit that the plan was a failure and did more collateral damage than you though. It's a completely different thing to propose a controversial plan, have it fail, then deny the problem and try to keep going the same way. Therein lies your plight, oh ye in support of the military proceedings in Iraq and Afghanistan. Now that the last of the troops are being withdrawn from Iraq, it is quite evident that a hell of a lot of money has been wasted since we started this war, and that most of it has gone into structures with no infrastructure behind them. In war you guys decided rather than focus on combat, to build hospitals, schools and public works projects. Over $5 billion worth of materials, manpower and planning went into projects that weren't even finished.

My real problem with this egregious waste is that the same people who were clamoring for war and revenge on terrorism (how can you plot revenge on an idea?) are the same people getting salty at the government for too much spending. Hey idiots, the last time I checked our country still has some serious infrastructure and administrative problems too. Not to mention, we're STILL up to our nostrils in debt from a financial collapse that your irresponsible war spending caused. Warmongers, you can't have it both ways. You can't waste our money abroad on a war that really had no point and then get mad that we're in a huge recession. And that's especially when you guys want to curb spending on the homefront. So you can do what? Start another war? Look, the whole 'war driving the economy' got played out after World War II and after we started outsourcing all of our industries. So if it's not driving our economy, but in fact sucking money out of our wallets, with few if any viable victories, why are we still at war? I'm not saying that the initiatives in place were bad ideas. I just think that for all of the hoopla about the war, there's finally substantive proof that the US initiative in Iraq was more or less the military running around the desert with their thumbs up their butts. Warmongers, it's not enough to have a good idea for something. You've got to be able to see it through, while being efficient and realistic. You can't half-ass something and be content with the drastic losses you incur simply because you don't want to be wrong. That's flawed reasoning at it's core. I'm not sure most of you will even have the wherewithal to see this report and realize your folly. Then again, most of you don't see a lot of stuff coming. *starts building nuclear fallout shelter for imminent war with China*

Dear Republican National Committee

Well, I guess you can cross at least one of the ones on the left off...

via Politico:

The Republican National Committee has just over $5 million in the bank for the final stretch of the 2010 midterm election campaign, according to an unannounced filing with the FEC disclosed Friday night.

The report also indicates that the national party headed by embattled chairman Michael Steele is carrying just over $2 million in debt.

There was no press release from the RNC attempting to put a positive spin on the grim numbers. Rather, officials from the Democratic National Committee flagged the RNC's report, which was posted on the Federal Election Commission’s website Friday night.

It indicated that the committee brought in slightly more than $5.5 million in July — less than half of what the DNC raised — while spending $11 million.

Wow, RNC... Just, wow. If you opened up your metaphorical wallet right now, what would come out? My guess is dust and a lot of receipts for humble pie. That's because you guys are broke. Point blank. As a party your net worth right now is just over $5 million. $5 million???? LeBron James and Kim Kardashian get paid more to tweet! 'The Situation' from Jersey Shore makes $5 million!! And you guys are saying your budget is so dry that you can't outbuy a steroid-pumped, fake-tanned reality star? C'Mon son. This is one of the many hypocrisies that plague the Republican party. You guys are so adamant about fiscal responsibility and cutting back spending, and keeping the government out of the economy. Yet, you can't even pay your own bills. How can the country trust a party that's less solvent than the country itself? How can you guys profess that the Dems are full of it economically, when they don't have to start rock on the corner to fund mid-term elections.

It's even funnier, because your party has been gaining some steam, with all of the snafus that the Dems have been encountering. The Tea Party has a healthy following of idiots and Sarah Palin is using feminism to tout her own brand of stupidity to a loyal following. If you guys had half an idea about how to handle money, maybe you'd be able to capitalize. Not that I'm upset your party can't balance a checkbook, but it just goes to show you that those who constantly talk the talk most likely can't walk the walk. It just sucks you guys might have to go to CashForGold.com to pay for a midterm election period. That's sad. Imagine if you guys had this opportunity during a Presidential election and couldn't foot the bill. I think America would just be forced to pull the plug on you, GOP. Whatever the case, keep on tossing out drivel and expecting the rich to back you, when you guys are two late fees away from the poorhouse. I think some menial labor and accommodations are just what you need. Then we'll really see what you think about jobless benefits and financial overhaul...

Gold-Dispensing ATM??

Giving new meaning to the term 'Arab Money'.. #shoutout to Ron Browz; RIP to his career

It's been a long time since excess was in fashion. Unfortunately for those of us in the US, that excess has taken its toll on our finances. That doesn't mean the rest of the world can't indulge in the finer extravagances that life has to offer. While I'm not sure how much this is needed, it's interesting to see. In an Abu Dhabi (that's in the United Arab Emirates for those of you without an atlas), a hotel has installed a machine that dispenses gold rather than candy or drinks. The ATM-style kiosk at the Emirates Palace monitors gold prices daily and gives 10-gram gold coins with custom designs on them. Ironically, the opening of the machine coincided with the price of gold hitting a record high of $1,245 an ounce. I guess it's cool to see economies trying to hold gold up to the standard it was before the world started printing paper money like 'Free Gucci' t-shirts. Only time will tell if a machine like this is even sustainable. Check out a video of the gold ATM and start saving up...

Dear Anthem Blue Cross

via The Los Angeles Times:

Reporting from Sacramento — Executives from California health insurance giant Anthem Blue Cross, under fire for scheduled rate hikes of up to 39%, insisted Tuesday that their premiums were fair and legal, and they told lawmakers they expected that the increases would go forward. Appearing before the state Assembly's health committee, the officials said that they believed rate increases for individual health insurance policies, delayed until May 1 while being reviewed by the Department of Insurance, would survive scrutiny by regulators.

President Obama on Monday proposed an expansion of federal authority to regulate health insurance rate increases such as Anthem's as part of his national healthcare reform package. In Sacramento, Anthem's president, Leslie Margolin, told the committee that much of the public frustration over the rate hikes was misdirected and should be aimed at the nation's healthcare system.

"This debate and this inquiry cannot and should not be just about the insurance industry or the delivery system or regulators or legislators or customers or brokers," Margolin said.

Now, it's kind of hard to address a letter to an entire company, but I've done worse so here goes:

Take a look at the video... Take a good long look at it. Look at how happy that kid is that he didn't have a serious condition that you guys wouldn't pay for. I've kept my mouth shut about insurance and health care and the insurance companies for a while, simply because I'm not in a position to sit here and talk shit about a entity that I don't identify with. Now, however, I can talk all I want. Anthem, you guys are trifling. How dare you hike up your prices 39% for health care while we're still in a recession? I mean, seriously. As if the overwhelming financial collapse and the impending doom from global warming or natural disaster weren't enough, you guys decided it was cool to nickel and dime Californians some more. I don't get it. How can you guys be so hypocritical, as to claim the system is failing, yet continue to feed into it by charging insane rates for health care?

One thing I've always wondered about most service companies is how they can purport this ideal of caring employees and respect for the customer when you guys lie to everyone, including yourselves? Since when has raising prices been a method of helping people? Since when has an 'affordable plan' come at a 39% markup? The fact that you guys are even trying to fight it shows how screwed up the priorities of big health care are. Instead of reworking your system in an effort to work with our government for a change, you guys are making it worse. They say most good businessmen are bad people. But if your business is to help people, where do you draw the line between trying to make a profit and simply screwing people over?? I guess when you have enough 'Jacks' running around breaking bones, all you can see is money...

Dear Diddy

Diddy, Diddy, Diddy, you've long been the culprit of my ire because of your ridiculous penchant for being overly flashy, but this takes the cake (birthday puns haha). Honestly, I've never seen such an unneeded showing of wealth as when I turned on the TV and watched you shower your son with gifts for his 16th birthday. Though, I cant't deny that I would give my children at least one birthday blow out each, there is a limit. There are entirely too many things wrong with they way you're doing this whole parenting thing.

First of all, why in God's name would you ever bless a 16-year-old, who hasn't driven a day in his life, a $400,000 Maybach?!?! It's not like he's got pressing business to attend to on his way to high school, using the wireless. It's not as if he has to have a glass of Ace of Spades on his way to soccer practice. Hell, the Maybach came with a driver! What really was the point?!?! Second of all, what is the deal with all of the conspicuous consumption? What kind of parenting manual were you reading, that told you stuffing a stack full of $20 bills into your child's pocket was the way to show your children love? When you do that, you're basically shouting to the kid in Ebonics: MONEY CAN BUY YOU HAPPINESS!. Also, you're ensuring that your son will never want to do a hard day's work in his life. Third of all, why at the end of the party did you decide to donate $10,000 in Justin's name? That's unbelievable! The car you bought that kid could have fed an entire village, so to make up for it, you shaved off 10 stacks. I suppose when you're that rich and arrogant, helping out by signing your name is the least you can do in the face of overspending and inane celebrity appearances. Like I said, celebrating the triumphs and milestones of your children is a must. It's just when that in and of itself turns into *gasp* an MTV reality show...

Greetings From: College Station, TX

via: khou.com

A fake $5 bill in which both sides apparently were copied and glued together led to the arrest of a teenager in College Station.

Police say the 17-year-old faces a misdemeanor forgery charge. He was arrested Saturday after allegedly trying to pass the crudely made currency at a drive-in restaurant.

College Station police say it appears the fake $5 was made with help from a computer scanner, then the bogus bill was trimmed and glued together. The front of the bill was longer than the back.

I'm bringing back the 'Greetings From' posts from last year. I think some of the funnier news out there needs to get the spotlight sometimes, so here goes...

Greetings from College Station, TX, where youth have gotten so desperate for cash, that they've resorted to 'making' their own money. Most people call it counterfeiting. A 17-year-old probably thought he was coming up with something new when he glued together two scanned pictures of a $5 bill, and tried to use it at a drive-thru. No offense to the boy, but wouldn't the people at the drive-thru have a fair idea of what a real bill looks like, considering they handle money all day? I guess that's a question every aspiring counterfeiter needs to ask himself before trying to pass a phony (with one side longer than the other) off. At least the kid was smart enough to use a color printer...