Dear Bill Nye

Why is it that when a supposedly foolproof solution comes about, even the most elementary of minds can figure out why that solution sucks? British Petroleum has been loafing hard at work trying to find a way to stop the massive oil leak that threatens to destroy the Gulf of Mexico. 87 days and 178 million barrels of oil later, they've finally figured out a way to stop the oil from flowing: a cap. A freaking cap! Something to put over the top of the leak to stop it from leaking... That's the best BP can do? Apparently not, because immediately after hearing of this solution, CNN brought you, Bill Nye, in to discuss the situation.

Bill, you've long been a premier authority on science, in my book. Any person that can explain Newton's Laws to 4th graders or the extended water cycle to 2nd graders has to be a genius. Your show added to the plethora of stimuli that made me into the knowledge-sucking nerd I am today. It probably still would be if PBS wasn't so bent on replacing real education with furry anthropomorphic creatures who speak in babbles. I guess it's only right that CNN bring you in to simplify the 'cap solution' for its viewers. The only problem is how easily you refuted the solution... using a water bottle, a long tube and a flat piece of rock nonetheless. Bill, it's incredible how something that scientists and engineers and marine biologists and oil tycoons agreed on, can be disproved so easily. The worst part is, you did it in that trademark Bill Nye voice, enthralling and captivating me completely. I shouldn't be so excited about the potential downfall of BP's cap solution, but you've got to admit that they probably feel really silly, especially after watching this. Maybe for the next environmental disaster, or geological phenomenon, or catastrophic happening, you should be the one headlining the search for answers. You probably have more knowledge in your theme song than BP has in its entire organization...