Why is it that when a supposedly foolproof solution comes about, even the most elementary of minds can figure out why that solution sucks? British Petroleum has been loafing hard at work trying to find a way to stop the massive oil leak that threatens to destroy the Gulf of Mexico. 87 days and 178 million barrels of oil later, they've finally figured out a way to stop the oil from flowing: a cap. A freaking cap! Something to put over the top of the leak to stop it from leaking... That's the best BP can do? Apparently not, because immediately after hearing of this solution, CNN brought you, Bill Nye, in to discuss the situation.
Bill, you've long been a premier authority on science, in my book. Any person that can explain Newton's Laws to 4th graders or the extended water cycle to 2nd graders has to be a genius. Your show added to the plethora of stimuli that made me into the knowledge-sucking nerd I am today. It probably still would be if PBS wasn't so bent on replacing real education with furry anthropomorphic creatures who speak in babbles. I guess it's only right that CNN bring you in to simplify the 'cap solution' for its viewers. The only problem is how easily you refuted the solution... using a water bottle, a long tube and a flat piece of rock nonetheless. Bill, it's incredible how something that scientists and engineers and marine biologists and oil tycoons agreed on, can be disproved so easily. The worst part is, you did it in that trademark Bill Nye voice, enthralling and captivating me completely. I shouldn't be so excited about the potential downfall of BP's cap solution, but you've got to admit that they probably feel really silly, especially after watching this. Maybe for the next environmental disaster, or geological phenomenon, or catastrophic happening, you should be the one headlining the search for answers. You probably have more knowledge in your theme song than BP has in its entire organization...
A proposed Arizona law would deny birth certificates to children born in the United States to illegal immigrant parents. The bill comes on the heels of Arizona passing the nation's toughest immigration law. John Kavanagh, a Republican state representative from Arizona who supports the proposed law aimed at so-called "anchor babies," said that the concept does not conflict with the U.S. Constitution.
"If you go back to the original intent of the drafters ... it was never intended to bestow citizenship upon (illegal) aliens," said Kavanagh, who also supported Senate Bill 1070 -- the law that gave Arizona authorities expanded immigration enforcement powers. Under federal law, children born in the United States are automatically granted citizenship, regardless of their parents' residency status. Kyrsten Sinema, a Democratic state representative, strongly opposes the bill.
"Unlike (Senate Bill) 1070, it is clear this bill runs immediately afoul of the U.S. Constitution," she said. "While I understand that folks in Arizona and across the country support S.B. 1070, they do so because we have seen no action from the federal government," said Sinema. "Unfortunately, the so-called 'anchor baby' bill does nothing to solve the real problems we are facing in Arizona."
I guess if the Deep South was the front line of the Civil Rights movement in the 1960's, then Arizona is set to become the front line of the illegal immigration debate of the 2010's (how do you say that, by the way? twenty-tens or tens?). You, as a state, never struck me as a bastion of conservative ideals until I figured out that John McCain was from there. Yet, lately, you've been about as far to the right as can be, at least when dealing with immigration. I've got a few bones to pick with you about this whole new issue, though. Here goes:
1) The whole issue of illegal immigration is completely subjective. The people who were essentially illegal immigrants in the 1800's when the state of Arizona (and it's surrounding areas) are now going after the 'illegal immigrants' of today. That doesn't sit well with me, Arizona. Your majority (soon to be minority, thanks to immigration) is like the Monopoly player everyone hates: they change the rules when it suits them to win. Why is it cool for the United States to shanghai another sovereign nation's land almost 200 years ago by just waltzing in, but when people come here looking for a better life, and actually help the economy, it's a problem? As a matter of fact, bump immigration out West. What happened to the first settlers in the US? The Pilgrims didn't have green cards or naturalization forms when they landed on Plymouth Rock and started scalping Injuns. The truth is, America was built upon the idea of expanding and sticking it's nose into locations and regions that it had no business in, all for the sake of a better standard of living. Why are you denying people that, now that America is in a position to provide that standard?
2) Since when does a state's legislation hold stronger than federal legislation that's been the standard since our nation's birth? The Civil War made it so that states ultimately have to kowtow to the federal government in matters of legislation. Why then, Arizona, do you think it's cool to just try and get around that? The Constitution states that anyone born on United States soil is automatically a United States citizen. Point. Blank. Period. And that's regardless of any affiliation that their parents have, or where their parents' legal jurisdiction lies. It's just the law, and there should be no way that you can get around that. Children, regardless of who their parents are shouldn't be turned away. Don't sit there and call them 'anchor children,' as if they crawled out of their mothers' wombs thinking: 'Hell yeah!! Now I can help my illegal immigrant parent stay in America, take up its resources and destroy its infrastructure!!' C'mon son... You're making the most innocent party, the children, into another villain, and it is SICK to say the least...
3) Last month it was a new racial profiling law that allowed police to question, arrest and detain anyone suspected of being an illegal immigrants (inherently racist). This month it's denying citizenship to the children of illegal immigrants, even if they're born on US soil. Is it just me, or are you just trying to set up a Japanese internment camp-style system in Arizona? Because that's what it seems like. The next thing you know, anyone who looks like and illegal immigrant will have to have a number and a curfew. Before long, they'll be carted off to their own district, somewhere between Hell and a Tea Party Convention, where they'll be under military surveillance. And for what? Walking across an imaginary line protected for no reason. Of all rules to enforce, that seems to be one of the more arbitrary and less well-founded of all...
Look Arizona, I'm not saying illegal immigration is completely right. Sovereign nations have a right to protect their borders and the resources of their nation from being wasted. But when you have as many as 20 million illegal immigrants living in the US, some thriving, and many helping the economy with their labor (minus taxation), there's no reason to fight that. Rather than treat them as subhumans, you should find a way to legally integrate them. I mean, what is so hard about granting amnesty? Or better yet, what's really that special about a Green Card that it's so hard to allow immigrants to have one? My guess is that the 'red-blooded Americans' don't want to see an immigrant get a job over them. Yet, all other things being equal, if the immigrant is better, then that's just tough. Arizona, you need to stop letting your citizens and the state dictate what makes someone legal or not, because for as much trouble as you say illegal immigration is, it helps the nation just as much...
Throwing up the peace sign and defending it are two completely different things...
via CNN:
Jamaican authorities declared a state of emergency in Kingston after gang members supportive of an alleged drug lord wanted by the United States attacked police stations and blockaded a large swath of the city. Two police stations were evacuated after being hit with Molotov cocktails, while the status of a third was unclear.
Gang members blocked off a miles-long area of Jamaica's capital city -- mostly in West Kingston -- using vehicles, sandbags, barbed wire and anything else they could find. The standoff revolves around attempts by the United States to extradite suspected drug kingpin Christopher "Dudus" Coke. Last year he was charged with conspiracy to distribute marijuana and cocaine and with conspiracy to illegally traffic in firearms in U.S. federal court.
On Friday, Jamaican Prime Minister Bruce Golding said citizens should "allow the courts to deal with the extradition matter," the state-run Jamaica Information service reported.
In a statement issued Sunday afternoon, Golding announced an emergency meeting of his cabinet in response to the violence and blockades, the Jamaica Information Service said.
Bruce, Bruce, Bruce... You see what happens when you want to have your cake and eat it too? Last year, the United States ordered the extradition of Christopher 'Dudus' Coke on charges of drug and ammunitions trafficking. You, most likely out of pride, or the fact that you have (or had; we never know nowadays) your hands in Dudus' pocket, denied the request. You said that the information that the US used to charge Dudus was obtained in violation of Jamaican law. Now, I'm not the end-all, be-all authority on the law in JA, but it is a known fact that politicians and criminals eat from the same plate. Corrupt officials have been using gunmen to protect their political interests for decades now, and it's never been a secret. Bruce, the last time I checked, political violence that's mandated by the politicians themselves was illegal. By that virtue, Bruce, you should be the LAST person calling out any entity for illegal operations. In fact, that Dudus is a prime supporter of the JLP, your party, makes me less sorry for your state of affairs.
A corrupt government breeds crime. Point blank. When the United States asked for Dudus' extradition last year, you spit in their face, caring more about your own political standing moreso than the safety of the island. Now that you can't control the gunman, his supporters who firebombed police stations, or his gang, the Shower Posse (because they 'shower' you with bullets), you want to ask outside sources to help you get Dudus out of the country. Newsflash, Bruce: they already tried that!! No matter what law firm you hire to negotiate with the US, nothing will erase that Dudus should have been on trial in the US now. It's a damn shame that you only care to act when the cards aren't in your favor. Bruce, the status of a criminal should never be a matter of convenience for you, the government or any political party. Sure, you offered to step down as the Prime Minister, but we all know that was more lip service than anything. You would rather say the right thing at the wrong time than do what's right, and what's been the right thing for a long time. No, that's not to say that your administration won't be able to make a change for Jamaica. However, the state of emergency in Kingston says a lot about where the country is heading and how well it's being governed right now. That said, between the JLP and PNP, it doesn't matter who's in charge if everyone is corrupt. Bruce, get your country under control and stop letting criminals wield more power than the government...
PS: #shoutout to the Minister of Tourism for getting mad at a Drake video's portrayal of Jamaica. You can't be mad at what's essentially true...
No, that's not the set of a Jason Statham movie.. That's the Gulf of Mexico getting a 600-mile helping of crude oil
I've never been one to turn to the television for my breaking news. Not only is the TV biased based on a number of factors (what channel, who's sponsoring, what the news is), commercials and fluff news just tend to get into the way of what I think the 'news' should be. Instead, I go online for my news. You can read infinite versions of the same story, get different spins and different understandings of the goings on of our fair planet that way. Also, I get right down to the story rather than having to wait through 20 minutes of shit I don't care about. That said, I've come to a harrowing realization over the past two weeks or so: You guys, the mainstream news outlets, don't show much ACTUAL news nowadays.
No those aren't special effects. That is downtown Nashville, TN under 8 feet of water...
Take, for instance, the ridiculous amount of flooding in Tennessee, Kentucky and Mississippi this week. Until I saw a press release online, I'd heard not a thing about it! Imagine that! Three states have entire counties under a layer of water, and if I had rested on my own laurels, I probably still wouldn't know about it. Look at the oil spill in the Gulf of Mexico (above). Our prices for gas are probably going to skyrocket in the next few months, and people probably won't be able to put two and two together. Maybe that's because rather than, you know, covering the story, you guys talk about celebrity gossip and muckraking politics...
I think I'd much rather hear about the impending darkness over Europe than some fluff story...
Take the volcanic ash clouds that covered half of mainland Europe last month. The ash, from Scandinavia, disrupted airway travel for over a week, essentially shutting down airports from London to Berlin to Paris and back. Thoughts of impending apocalypse (we know it wasn't that serious, now) flooded the minds of those stranded, while we in America playfully went about our Easters. Mainstream news, it's unbelievable that in this day and age people are still uninformed about what is going on around them. You guys downplay the good in the world and drum up drama when you see fit, rather than simply report. What's crazy is that all of these stories are natural disasters, meaning they have some bearing on us attempting to function on Earth. You'd think that you guys would take an active interest in letting people know what is going on. I guess pushing Glenn Beck's idiotic comments for ratings are more important...
The word 'news' isn't even an actual word. It's actually an acronym for North, East, West & South. By that virtue, you as news outlets should be reporting the happenings from all four corners, not putting your (liberal or conservative) spin on it, withholding information, or putting fallacious information out. I suppose that this was a largely undirected and unfocused letter, by my standards. However, I will not stand to answer another question about a news story that happened a few days ago. I understand it's a bit unfair to blame you for the lack of interest in world issues, considering how apathetic Americans have become in my lifetime. However, it has to start somewhere. And it has to start with the people designating what becomes an issue. Maybe this was too much of a rant to be a letter. Even so, it needed to be said, and was heavy on my mind. Hopefully you guys quit grab-assing over spot quotation journalism and report what matters...
I love ideas like this because they're so simple, but can make such a huge difference if installed on a wide scale. The GOOD people at FluxLab, all working out of Brooklyn Tech, have created the NYC Revolution Door. The invention uses the revolutions from a revolving door to generate electricity. The fact that revolving doors are a staple of damn near every Manhattan office building makes this idea invaluable. The incentive-based electronic board connected to the door is all the more reason for people to want to use revolving doors. At this juncture in human history, we'd be stupid not to explore every avenue of energy and energy creation possible; even the little things. Check the video out...
Starting in November 2008, the Federal Reserve Bank of New York under Timothy Geithner began urging American International Group, the huge insurer that the government had bailed out, to limit disclosure on payments made to banks at the height of the financial crisis, e-mail messages obtained by DealBook show.
The e-mail exchange between the bailed-out insurance giant and its regulator portray a strange reversal of roles, with A.I.G. staff arguing for the disclosure of certain details on payments for credit-default swaps to major banks, only to be discouraged by officials at, or representing, the Federal Reserve.
In a draft of one regulatory filing, A.I.G. stated that it had paid banks — including Goldman Sachs Group, Merrill Lynch, Société Générale and Deutsche Bank — the full value of C.D.O.’s, or collateralized debt obligations, that they had bought from the company. In the response to that draft from the law firm Davis Polk and Wardwell, which represented the New York Fed, that crucial sentence was crossed out, and did not appear in the final version filed on Dec. 24, 2008.
This is what we're talking about when we say there's a lack of transparency in our government. Guys, the recession has been long and sad. While analysts are saying we'll be out before we know it, I've read enough econ books to know that whatever 'prosperity' they're talking about won't hit the common folk until a year or two after. That said, I thought it was a great move for Obama to start placing more strict regulation on the financial markets after the crash. But where will the lies end?? From dropping interest rates every week to bailing out big businesses while people were losing their homes, you, reserve have left the people out to dry. Now that we know how full of shit you are, it's funny that this story came out.
When people imagine big business and financial deception, they usually imagine a bunch of 'The Man'-looking white men in a fancy board room, making decisions and sending secretive e-mails. I had no clue that was REALLY the case. If you were to sit down and only skim through those e-mails, they would seem routine (I suppose that's the point). The language they used sounded like they weren't even dealing with money. I suppose that's what happens when you're rich and powerful. As long as the system is in order, it doesn't matter what happens to the little people. Fed, don't get it twisted. Withholding information is the same thing as lying, especially when the information would have made your actions that much more detrimental to the country. Now that AIG's been bailed out and STILL has nothing to show for it, it's just ironic that our economy still isn't bouncing back like you guys 'planned'...
Yes, I know it's 2010, and the dystopian future that George Orwell imagined for 1984 never happend (or even came close). Even so, Orwell is probably laughing up a sun-scorching storm as we speak (blog). Samsung has created an ID card with an AMOLED display that looks normal until you bring it up close to an RFID card reader. In laymen's terms, that means they have a see-through LED screen that shows a picture when you put a device with a special light up to it. The picture that comes up is a high-resolution picture, that can not only zoom, but is better than your typical ID card photo (hope they get your good side). The technology itself is DOPE, but the application scares me a bit. I'm no conspiracy theorist, but it's awfully strange. It's like The Man is trying to find ways to pinpoint us even further, and putting it under the guise of cool technology. Better clean up that driving record...
A New York City-funded guidebook for heroin users offers information on how to prepare drugs carefully and care for veins to avoid infection.
The state's top official with the Drug Enforcement Administration calls the ''Take Charge Take Care'' guide a ''step-by-step instruction on how to inject a poison.'' DEA special agent-in-charge John Gilbride says the handout is disturbing. The city's Department of Health and Mental Hygiene printed about 70,000 copies.
A health official says the goal is to promote health and save lives. Assistant Commissioner Daliah Heller says instructions on how to perform injections were included because there's ''a less harmful way to inject.''
Sadly, his is what NYC heads are paying taxes for. Since when is teaching people how to use a needle for drug purposes safely promoting safety at all? NYC, you've always had a stigma as being a haven for drugs (let's not get into the definition of drugs). Whether it's the trademark weed spots at bodegas or underground ecstasy raves, your underground drug culture has never been a secret. In fact, many people have tried to bring this culture to the forefront, especially when dealing with marijuana. That said, you don't have to inject weed, as well as weed being linked to decriminalization both in the city, and nationwide.
Therein lies the problem, NYC. Heroin use has always been one of the most heralded drugs of mortality (that means people die from it, a lot), and of transmitting diseases. The latter of the two is what you are trying to discourage through this program. To that, I have one question: Why not just try and deter the use of heroin altogether?? Since when has the 'safe' use of a hard drug overshadowed the use of the drug?? I'm not sitting here downplaying the fact that drug use increases one's chance for disease. I'm simply stating that there are better ways to keep people from catching the germ. Maybe instead of trying to teach people how to use drugs in a safer way, you should be teaching people NOT to use drugs. Trust me, I've seen enough junkies and addicts in my day (a relatively short period) to know that they don't give two flying shits about how they shoot up. Regardless of whether the needle was fresh from the hospital, or they found it in a pile of shit, they're going to shoot up. Why not kill two birds with one stone and eradicate heroin use? You could probably use the same forum (flyers) and do society one less evil, NYC. Lord knows, if your pamphlet is the last one a junkie reads, why not have one trying to help, not enable him?
Everyone knows that you shouldn't bring a knife to a gunfight, but I don't think that many people would think to bring a gun to a snowball fight. My man Josh at Bruce & Carrie's Son put me on to this incident, that even he was 10 days late for. I shudder to think what kind of tragedy would have ensued if cameras weren't present. Even with the threat of police brutality (not the kind you're use to, is it?), there are two positives that we can take from this. First of all, the power of social networking is limitless. Over 200 folks were gathered for this frolic solely from Twitter and Facebook communication. One can only imagine how many more people heard or saw information about the gathering, but didn't attend. Secondly, it's heartwarming to see that people don't let the threat of violence deter them from their fun. In the background you can still see people chucking snowballs and smiling, while a serious situation was arising in front of them. The folly and brash nature of the policemen was a sad story, and indicative of a lack of discernment on their part and every policeman who draws their weapon needlessly. Hopefully we can get past this and just enjoy nature, like our snowball fighters were...
The phrase is correct, but the actions are dead wrong...
Okay Teddy, I will not lie. Blackstreet was one of my favorite groups. I still sing No Diggity, Baby Be Mine and Don't Leave Me Girl to this day. You guys paved the way for the R&B group explosion of the late 90's and were innovators in terms of sound. You however, have truly disappointed me. I've always been a firm believer that discipline in a child's life is second only to love. Whether corporal, or simple positive reinforcement, the discipline in a child's life is one of the more prevalent factors in shaping them as an adult. That said, what the hell, Teddy?? Since when has it been okay to beat a child with their Christmas present? You see, Teddy, there is a HUGE difference between discipline and abuse, and you crossed it.
According to the ridiculous Twitter argument between you and your daughter (readers, you can find that for yourself; I refuse to cite TMZ or MTO), she was unhappy with your new girlfriend and decided to voice that opinion. Call me new school, or progressive, but when a child reaches a certain age (18 in your daughter's case), they have a pretty good scope of relationships, even if they haven't been in one themselves. Now this is just an assumption, but your new girlfriend probably isn't your first of that variety (young, and money hungry), and probably won't be your last. You may even love the woman, which is cool. But at what point do you take your daughter's feelings into consideration?
Even if you didn't agree with what she was saying, I'm sure hitting her with a Rock Band guitar probably isn't the best way to leave your fatherly imprint on her. In fact, I'm even more sure that doing that will make her despise you even more. I'm no family expert. Nor was I there when the incident, and subsequent Twitter argument (funny that there is such a thing, isn't it?) took place. But your daughter was there before your girlfriend, and will be there after (not trying to put a hex on your girl; I'm just telling it how it is) her. Don't alienate and abuse her because she told you that you need to stop putting p*ssy on a pedestal...
I love seeing the recession bring out the humor in people, albeit in such creative ways. This video comes all the way from England, but I definitely think this game would make a killing over here in the states. I'd kill to see this game down on Wall Street, especially during the holidays, when everyone's banker becomes a mortal enemy. As credit card bills and debt pile up, sometimes you just want to beat the hell out of a banker. Here you can do it without getting a bid...
While this is a wondrous feat, I can't help but think that there is something seriously wrong with a 10 year old girl that can type 119 words per minute. In this day and age, it's not unnatural for children to have a great aptitude for computing. However, where do you as a parent, or as an educator, put your foot down and tell that little girl to GO OUTSIDE!! Seriously. Have we as a society grown so attached to computers, that instead of raising children ourselves, we allow the computers to do it?? Oh wait, yeah we have.
Parents, do yourselves and your children a favor, and TURN OFF THE COMPUTER. It's ironic that I'm saying this from a computer. At the same time, though, I can say that I was never glued to a computer. Oregon Trail day came and went, and though it was always a big deal, electronics never seemed to trump the thrill of going down a slide or kicking the ball out of the park playing kickball. To say that we are in a digital age is an understatement when you see things like this. At this point, it's really really disheartening to see a girl, no older than the concept of the modern internet, so drawn in by computing that she has made a hobby out of typing. Does this girl have friends? Do her parents just not care?? Whatever the case, I feel bad for her if her career goals ever go anywhere north of secretary...
Maybe you don't pay attention to little stuff like this, but I have a tag for some posts called 'The Demise of Humanity'. It deals with things signaling *gasp* the demise of humanity. This video is probably the trailer for the next apocalyptic movie coming out. I'm sure you've all laughed at some kind of death, but to regale oneself while informing others on a professional platform is ridiculous. Hopefully her death doesn't end up the butt of a joke. I hope Karma watches the news...
WASHINGTON – Dismissing complaints from some members that Congress had more pressing matters, a House subcommittee approved legislation Wednesday aimed at forcing college football to switch to a playoff system to determine its national champion.
"We can walk across the street and chew gum at the same time," said the subcommittee chairman, Illinois Democrat Bobby Rush, one of the bill's co-sponsors. "We can do a number of things at the same time."
The legislation, which still faces steep odds, would ban the promotion of a postseason NCAA Division I Football Bowl Subdivision game as a national championship unless it results from a playoff. The measure passed by voice vote in the House Energy and Commerce Committee's commerce, trade and consumer protection subcommittee, with one audible "no," from Rep. John Barrow, D-Ga.
Okay, I'm as big a college football fan as the next, as I'm sure Barack Obama and every other politician does. That said, I think if my opinion as a casual sports fan doesn't count, then why should that of Congress?? Guys, we are in the middle of reforming our health care for the first time in 60 years, re-deploying 10,000 troops to Afghanistan, still reeling in a recession, and have a hole in the ozone layer the size of Rosie O'Donnell. Why then, in God's name, is college football legislation that high up on the list? Congress, your M.O. for the past 10 years has been NOT to meddle in the affairs of private firms. Now that Barack is elected, the first thing you do is try to interfere with sports?
I'm not going to lie. I think the BCS is full of shit and more or less gives the 20+ teams not in the national championship a weak consolation prize. Instead of BS'ing the other teams, why not have a playoff? That said, the issue at hand really shouldn't be at the forefront of your concerns. What's worse is that the bill doesn't even really do anything. It only prohibits the BCS from calling their title game a 'national championship game' unless it's from a playoff system. So in addition to having your nose sniffing where it really shouldn't be, you guys didn't even finish the job!! It's a sad day in America when our hastiness in legislation only translates to insignificant legalities. Lord knows a college football playoff won't help end the recession, and it DAMN sure won't get our troops out of the Middle East. Congress, please step it up...
Good God Almighty. Just when I thought you guys' programming couldn't be more idiotic, I flipped on what was once the bane of my mornings, and flipped right back in fear of losing my mind. What is Jersey Shore? I mean, other than a reality show based off the stupidity, vanity and vapid lifestyles of young New Jerseyans (sp?)? I can guarantee that whoever is creating these shows has the attention span of Heidi and Spencer put together, which isn't much. But in all seriousness, is this what we're really feeding to 15 and 16-year-old kids?? MTV, this is detestable. If it isn't 'The Hills' making a season out of stupid catfights, or 'Parental Control' making it funny to disrespect parents, or glamorizing teen pregnancy with '16 and Pregnant', you guys have NO decent programming.
Hell, think about your name: MTV. MUSIC TELEVISION. I cannot tell you the last time I have turned on MTV to anything musical. If it's not reality TV, then it's not MTV. What happened to the cartoons? What happened to Daria, Beavis and Butthead, Celebrity Deathmatch, Andy Milonakis? What happened to Rock-N-Jock Sports? What happened to GOOD original programming? Every time I hear about a new show, it's one of three things: A) a spin-off from an old show, B) a distasteful, yet generic game show or C) a feeble attempt at shock humor. MTV, what happened to the music???
So many times I heard adults in the 90's chastize you guys for the music and for how outlandish everything was. Now, I don't know any adults that even care to criticize you guys. Clearly, the adults who were hating on you before, are NOW you. From an adult perspective, THIS is the MTV we should have been watching 10 years ago: mindless, inane and repetitive. I shudder to think what's going to happen in another 10 years, so I will just say my goodbye now. MTV, you were good while you were young. A network full of awkward laughter and musical vibes that could only peak during its adolescence. In your own adulthood, you became the very thing that you had poised us against: the Man. Your channel is now corporately sponsored and corporately-run. The organic feel that made me wake up every morning at 7 to watch Coolio's 'Fantastic Voyage' is gone, but at least I still have BET... Wait, no.. BET is the coon network... I guess we stil have the blogs. MTV, check out where you were, and where you are now. Lord knows these growing pains didn't work out as planned...
Now, this is just screaming for the FDA's intervention. How does stuff like this end up on television without anyone saying ANYTHING?? For years pundits have questioned the uncanny ability of advertisement food to look way better than the actual food that we get served. Now there's no reason you shouldn't question the way your fast food looks. Especially if your burgers don't have as many seeds on them as old girl glued to her buns (pause)...
It's really sad that I have to write a letter about an 'unofficial holiday', especially since the holiday is riddled in materialism and greed. Let's not even get into the fact that the term Black Friday is the day after Thanksgiving. You remember.. The day we were supposed to be THANKFUL for everything that we DO have. The irony there is priceless. But Black Friday, you really are like the crack pipe sitting outside of rehab, just waiting to lure us from our new (one day old) sense of thankfulness and appreciation.
You're pretty much a corporate creation, too. Since the Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade started in 1924, the day after Turkey Day has always been considered the official start to the Christmas (or Hanukkah or Kwanzaa or whatever) season. It's only in 1960, at the rise of advertising (watch Mad Men, people), that companies were trying to bring their sales up for the Holidays, and coined the term 'Black Friday'. They lowered prices, had special promotions and 'midnight doorbusters' to drive people into thinking that they were gaining something out of spending their money. And look what that turned into.
People getting trampled at Walmart?? Plummeting credit scores?? Increased traffic and accidents?? And the best part of all, big companies raking in the cash because heads are too jaded to see how silly it is. You see, the whole idea of Black Friday wouldn't really be that bad if the result wasn't so ridiculous. Why rush into Walmart at 5 AM to save $300 on a TV, when the TV is going to be cheaper 6 months later? Why buy that new blouse at 50% off, when after the 'festivities' you won't be able to fit it anymore? Black Friday, you destroy our wallets for instant gratification. You make people forget that they don't need 'things' to be happy. Like I said, it's unbelievably ironic that Black Friday is the day after Thanksgiving...
This is a letter that should have been written years ago, probably after Columbine, or some other happening involving children. If you were anywhere near Twitter or a TV yesterday, you heard the mind-blowing story of Falcon Henne. The little boy supposedly was trapped, airborne in an experimental balloon-esque craft after having released it himself. After a four hour chase, that saw the media get airborne coverage faster than the authorities, the balloon was brought down with Falcon not in the balloon, but in the attic. Now, does something about that entire situation seem a bit, I don't know, dumb?
Now parents, at how many points could an embarrassing event have been prevented yesterday? If you said anything more than three, then you don't even have to read this letter. Man, they could have been watching the kid, they could have had their experimental craft protected in some way, or maybe just looked EVERYWHERE for the child. As a parent, there should be certain things that are a given when it comes to your child. Perhaps your kid is, let's say REALLY imaginative and inquisitive. Why in the world would you allow him to wander around a Colorado ranch by himself, with an experimental balloon ready to launch? Come on, you've got to have a little more sense than that.
But if you don't and just so happen to bring the child on a show without TALKING to him and REPRIMANDING him, what do you expect for this really imaginative and inquisitive child to do? It's parents like these that raise destructive children and wonder why the world is crumbling before us. I don't mean to say that Falcon is a troublemaker, because as much as a cop-out as it is, he is a kid. One thing about kids, is that if you don't steer them in the right direction, black or white, big or little, smart or dumb (sad, but true), they will get into trouble. Any person who's been a child knows that. As parents, your job is to prevent that deviation and help them understand why it's wrong. Falcon's parents, whatever hippie cult they were raised in, obviously aren't to adept at that. It's a damn shame America had to find out because of their 'experimental' balloon...
I know for a fact that 90% of you guys would rather take the escalator than the stairs. It's just human nature to rest and save energy rather than expend it. The result, though, is that we get fat and use up the earth's energy to power our rest (ironic, huh??). Volkswagen attempts to switch that up in this video by placing piano keys on a flight of stairs in a Stockholm train station. As a result, people used the stairs about 60% more. I can't front like I wouldn't be walking up and down those stairs trying to compose my own symphony, but is that really what we need to keep ourselves fit? Entertainment suitable for the Tellytubies? If so, you can find me at the gym, working hard to drop the weight that escalators keep on my person...
