On Frank Ocean, and Why 'Gay' Shouldn't Even Matter Anymore

I know I wasn't the only near-sighted person to almost have a seizure trying to read this.

BBQ's aren't my really forte. You can invite me to a barbecue, though. I might go. But most likely I'll think about going, and either go hang out with my closest friends or bury myself in books and reruns of Chopped. It's not that I don't enjoy the prospect of grilling food with family, friends, and an assortment of complete strangers. It's that small talk gets boring. 'Where are you working?' 'How's your mom?' 'Are you going back to school?' 'How about those Yankees?' 'You see what Mitt Romney did last week?' 'What was Evelyn thinking on last week's episode?' There are always some topics that get breached constantly in loose small talk.

This Independence Day, among the hordes of hamburger-fancying twenty-somethings, the subject at hand was Frank Ocean's heartfelt message to accompany his upcoming album Channel Orange. There were toasts to Frank's liberation, to his prowess as an artist, and to the open-mindedness of Odd Future for accepting his status. Frank Ocean was the man of the hour everywhere without being anywhere.

For a loose interpreter wary of Frank's (in addition to OF as a whole) knack for picking archaic language and rosy prose over strict meaning, such as myself, I found everyone taking Frank's letter as a coming out with mixed feelings. Nowhere in the letter did the OF crooner say the word gay, bisexual, or anything related to sexual orientation. He just said he loved a man. I think in this day and age, no thanks to Anderson Cooper, everyone is jumping to find a revolutionary idol of sorts: someone who, for them, can represent everything positive about a marginalized group and serve of a bastion of the group's accomplishment within the greater majority. The letter gave hope and shouting rights to fighters of sexual liberty. That it happened on Independence Day only served to amplify the fact that a post-sexual society is on the horizon, but not here yet.

One of the things I ponder a lot is whether we're even really in a post-racial society. Yeah, my President is black and my Lambo is blue. But since the man's taken office, there's been more working against him than for him. Birthers, Tea Partiers, Mitt Romney, and Bible Belters will say that nothing about their hatred for Barry O has to do with race, but the undercurrent is too great to ignore. I think as long as the construct of race still exists in that it can be used as a basis for anything other than physical identification, we're not in a post-racial society. In the same way, as long as society keeps mentioning 'gay' or 'straight' or 'bisexual' or 'bath salt users' as a delineation, instead of a trait of the greater person, we're not past sexual preference as an issue.

It's like the old saying, 'It's not what they call you, it's what you answer to.' Frank Ocean's sexuality shouldn't even be an issue. If there wasn't a name for a sexual preference or any stigma attached to it, would it be an issue? In this day and age, where flashes in the pan are the norm, it suffices to say that there'll be another celebrity to come out of the closet and everyone will laud their bravery at barbecues and in between meetings and at happy hours. It will become the small talk of that week, and that person's status will be debated hotly because sexual preference still is a taboo topic. Not in a post-sexual society.

In this post-sexual society I imagine, your spouse will be your spouse, male or female. People won't shudder at two fathers, and there won't be a 'down low'. The words 'transgender' and 'transexual' won't mean anything anymore. Two women utilizing in vitro fertilization will be widely accepted. Post-sexual society will affect more than sexual preference, too. No one will give a damn about abortions, or womb rights, or being pro-life or pro-choice. Just like the M and F you cross out on forms, anything related to sex will become an afterthought. If we don't even mention it, it will cease to be important. It might even become one of those 'don't touch' topics like politics or religion that polite, civilized people scoff at in public (that's another post in and of itself) and hold strong opinions about behind closed doors. Who knows? The only sure thing is that Frank Ocean loved a man. Any person with a father, brother, uncle, cousin, mentor, or friend can say the same. I think that's the first step to sexuality not mattering: letting love be, regardless of who or what the target is. Lord knows we loved Frank Ocean's music before.

Dear Lil' B (re: 'I'm Gay')

Upon reading my last post, I think I raised too many questions and didn't answer enough for myself. I suppose the post was more a rant and forum for discussion, as opposed to some declaration of my stance on homosexuality. Either way, the post got me to thinking: what if a rapper was, indeed, gay? What if an MC decided to shake up the whole world by coming out of the closet? What if everyone's favorite Based God decided to ummm... I don't know... name his album 'I'm Gay'? It turns out I don't have to dream or wonder about such a hypothetical situation anymore, seeing as you, Lil' B the Based God have announced that your new album will be called 'I'm Gay'.



Now, Lil' B, I've had an interesting relationship with your basedness. While saying 'swag' and 'based' and doing your 'Cooking' dance in complete jest, I've come to realize that your movement is less about the music, the 'swag' and the utter nonsense, as it is about the fervent feeling of fanaticism that your Based movement brings. Throngs of skinny jean-clad onlookers chant your lyrics, and encourage you to engage in coitus with their significant others not because they actually consider you a god, but because you give them a deity-like entity to feel attached to. In the same way that Hendrix and the Beatles had fanatics, so do you. I respect that. I respect your undying devotion to self-promotion and making music. While I may debate your own musical aptitude (some of your music sounds like you were smoking the best base while recording), I can never question your love of music, with allusions to Theophilus London among other acclaimed musical personalities. Now that your fame has reached a fever pitch among the underground, what better way to put your name on the front of everyone's watch list than to proclaim your 'gayness' on wax?

Most people reacted to the title with a resounding 'huh?', which then switched to

A) ridicule at the notion that the Based God, whose sole purpose on the planet is to f*ck your b*tch, would effectively proclaim his love of his own sex

OR

B) praise because of how 'bold' a statement calling your album that is, and how you're changing the game, one homosexual at a time...

My take, Lil' B? You're as straight as an arrow. I'm almost 99% sure about that, sans the Tupac nose ring. That said, you calling your album that is exactly what you said: an indictment on the power that words have over us. You claimed that definitions don't mean anything, ironically. Words can make the tallest mountain look like a molehill, and in your case, they will make what would probably have been a frisbee of an album into platinum. Nothing more, nothing less. You being 'gay' is as much a promotional tool as it is a statement of how obsessed hip-hop is with sexuality. That we all are talking about it as a function of sexuality proves that point. And when your gay album does come to pass, I have little doubt in my mind that it will be the same Based God that we've gotten used to, complete with indecipherable lyrics, monotonous profanity and reasons as to why hoes are staid upon your d*ck. And I have even less doubt that you will be gayer (happy gay) than the apparel we don while singing "Fa-la-la-la-LAAA-La-la-la-la" after your gay album drops. You will have successfully pulled a marketing scheme out of your rear end, while simultaneously arousing the attention of GLAAD and chuckling because Kobe Bryant won't be able to mutter gay slurs. Kudos, Lil' B. #SWAG

On Hip-Hop, Homophobia and Basketball

Eminem says it, wins a Grammy... Kobe says it, gets fined $100K... Mister Cee (allegedly) does it, and catches shade from all sides... You be the judge...

You... Yes, you. All of you. Ask yourself this: Are you a homophobe? My guess is most of you will say something like this:

NOOOO! I've got gay friends!!

or

That's not me. I let everybody live!

or

It's 2011. Homophobia? #weoffthat

Open up that filing cabinet of a brain of yours, and take a peek through it. I'll wait. Try to remember the last slur you used. Any slur. Racist, sexist, age-ist, whatever prefix you can add, pull that instance up. Good. Now think about how you would feel if the world got a taste of that slur coming straight from your mouth. *waits some more* See the problem here?

Upon news of the great DJ Mister Cee being involved in a supposedly homosexual tryst with a drag queen (forgive me if my terminology is incorrect), most of the world took the liberty of coming up with the wittiest, 'ha-ha he's a homo!' comment you could think of and tweeting it, while others took to defending the Hot 97 jockey. At the same time, when Kobe Bryant was caught on national television mouthing off at a referee and calling him a 'f*cking faggot', most rushed to his defense, citing a bad call, while others bashed the Lakers superstar for his suspected homophobia. Why is that? I'll tell you why. It's the constant straddling of a line that no one is willing to cross. It's a line that's marked by criticism from all angles except from those whose opinions should matter. It's a line that everyone is content to talk about after an incident, but unwavering when everything seems all peachy.

These two incidents are merely indicative of a very closed-off rhetoric in the black community. As a generally homophobic society, there is little room for a grey area. Either you're for or against the 'gay' debate (for lack of better words). One can't be accepting of alternative sexual lifestyles while straight, without being called out for it. Yet when someone uses what's accepted as a 'homophobic slur' they automatically get crucified for it. It's a sick double standard. Rather than open up the lines of communication where people can express their misconceptions, we lambast those who take the negative and positive sides of the spectrum. We make it impossible for someone to have an opinion, much less act naturally.

Think back to the John Amaechi saga in 2007, where Amaechi became the first NBA player (former or active) to come clean with his status as a homosexual. From that day forth, every NBA player sounded off. Some like Tim Hardaway, made mincemeat of Amaechi, claiming he 'hates gay people'. Others like LeBron James, shied away from criticism on sexuality, and commented merely on the trustworthiness of a closeted gay player. Why can't people just be 'okay' with it? Why, instead of a soundboard of who's who all taking sides, can't someone just say 'Oh' when confronted with an openly gay person? Why is the revelation of homosexuality treated as an indictment on the person being told's opinion, rather than the particular person or issue at hand?

Maybe I'm just content to sit on the sidelines while others fling mud. Maybe the plight of Mister Cee, his homosexual accomplice, and Kobe Bryant's potty mouth have no link aside from being cases of sexual opinion on a grand stage. Maybe we're all homophobes phobic of being homophobes. At the end of the day, it's up to us to not be so black and white in dealing with one's sexual preference. We can't decry the tendencies of one of the most heralded DJ's on the planet, while espousing foul play when an NBA superstar gets called out for his use of a gay slur. Whereas Mister Cee can disavow all knowledge and doing linked to his case and be cleared by putting together a great Throwback at Noon last week, Kobe has to pay a fine and get the gauntlet from GLAAD. Are we sending a consistent message here? Does it depend on one's economic status or celebrity how one's stance on sexual preference is taken? Or does the realm of professional sports (with an unknown amount of closeted participants) hold more weight in denouncing homosexuality than that of music (rife with homosexual references)?

Weigh in here, people. I'm anxious to see if anybody cares enough to point out their stance on both situations and whether homophobia is an issue that should be addressed in multiple mediums. Dear Whoever's been on hiatus for a few weeks, and I think this is a great place to pick back up. In other words, COMMENT!!!