Singing Telegram: The Notorious B.I.G. - Ten Crack Commandments

What's up people? Today's Singing Telegram is a bit different from the usual. It's not an actual song, but a poetry reading of a song. As normal as it sounds, the reading is done by Adrien Brody, who, up until this point was unbeknownst to me as a Biggie fan. At the Academy of American Poets, Brody recites the late Christopher Wallace's '10 Crack Commandments', citing Biggie as one of 'the most influential poets of his generation'. I can't disagree with him, though I do question whether he did this out of genuine respect, or to see the shocked faces in the crowd. I'll tend to believe the latter, especially as '10 Crack Commandments' is one of my favorite songs, and a pretty good instruction manual when dealing in any type of business. I've taken the liberty of explicating each of Biggie's edicts in much more general terms. It might be better served than spitting them free-form in front of poetry buffs. Listen along, so you get the full effect of these powerful rules.


The Notorious B.I.G. - Ten Crack Commandments

The Ten Crack Commandments:

1. Don't let anyone know what kind of or how much money you possess. There are, at every turn, jealous crooks waiting to steal it from you, whether in courts or on corners. Broadcasting your ends also makes it easier to track and audit them. You don't want the IRS barking up your tree.

2. Keep your plans and movements to yourself. No one likes to have their grand schemes interrupted by gunfire, much less another opportunist running away with your ideas. Additionally, telling more people gives way to the plan losing its general profitability. Too many heads on the bottle makes everyone go thirsty.

3. Don't trust anyone. Anyone has the propensity to double-cross you in the chase for material wealth. Make sure the people you keep around you are trustworthy and strong-minded, so as not to compromise your operation.

4. Avoid shrinkage. Whether it's bean pies, sneakers, stocks or rocks, don't allow your business to be cut into by your vices. Business and pleasure aren't two things that should live together, especially if your business is pleasure.

5. Don't do business where you lay your head. It's a sticky situation waiting to happen if your customers or enemies see you taking showers, watching the game, and selling your wares out of the same location. Not to mention, in the event that your domus is public knowledge, you'll see a spike in how many people you have hanging around. Keep a low profile in person, and habitat.

6. Don't do credit. Cash transactions were the creation of needing a medium for when bartering just didn't do the trick. It's a quick standard that always gets the job done. Credit does nothing but complicate things, especially when it's time to collect.

7. Mixing family and business is almost never a good look. The Godfather trilogy, songs with Beyonce and Solange... the list goes on. If it must be done, keep the circle as small as possible. Think Will Smith and his clan.

8. Don't ever keep your product on you. Police, government regulators, and greedy acquaintances will always find a reason to shake you down. You'd rather not give them any reason for suspicion.

9. Stay away from police. The funny thing about the boys in blue is that they are never around when they need to be, and always around when you want them gone. Don't entertain their witty banter or war stories, much less engage them in an argument. Not only will it arouse the suspicion of your competitors, you're more likely to be implicated if you slip-up.

10. Consignment is a hard thing to juggle. If you're not well-seasoned in your business, buying without the means to pay it back is essentially systematic debt. Rather than bite off more than you can chew and risk losing it all, remember this: slow and steady wins the race. Build your empire, until you are the one people are coming to for ends.