Dear Career Fairs

You see that line??? I'll be damned if I have to wait in line to talk to some blowhole from HR at a career fair...

Today, I went to a career fair; and not just any career fair... My school's career fair. If you know me, you know what school it is, but that doesn't particularly mean much aside from personal semantics. This career fair could have been at any school, any campus and any city. That said, this was my first career fair, and probably my last.

Career fairs, I never saw the point in you. For two hours, I get to stand and walk around, look at booths that companies looking to hire graduates and interns put up, in the hopes that one of these companies will spot my genius. Here's the problem with all of you career fairs, though: EVERYONE GOES TO THEM. It's beginning to feel like you career fairs aren't really there to help the students and the jobless as much as you are the companies that are hiring. Think about it. If a job or company is a fisherman, we students are the bait, and you (the career fair) are the water, then these jobs are making a killing. They're reeling in a bunch of prospects, 95% of whom won't ever be contacted or called back, while we students swim around in you, hoping to be noticed by the fisherman. It doesn't help that we're all told the same things when we go to you. Every year I see some 'Insider's Guide' given out by the school to instruct us on how to 'attack' you. They all say one, or a combination of these things:

1. Bring your resume.
2. Don't dress like you're going to a rave.
3. Smile.
4. Ask for business cards and promotional material.
5. Follow-up in a week.
6. Ask questions.
7. Give answers that don't make you sound halfway retarded.

That, by no means, is an exhaustive list, but for most career-minded people, those fall within the common sense realm of knowledge. Regardless, the fact that there is all of this general information being spewed, as well as a dire lack of actual employment (I say actual, because these companies can't hire every 20 people who send a resume) make you, in my eyes a waste of time. Job fairs, it's not that I'm not looking for a career when I graduate, it's just that I'd rather not be another fish in your sea.

The economic climate is one where jobs are at a premium, and are becoming more specialized and experience-based. No, I'm not certain I'll get a job right out of school, but it beats going to one of you again. If it takes all of the networking, resume-building, and handshakes in the world, you won't find me in you again, stocking up on free candy and frisbees, and kissing some schmuck from HR's rear end, while looking over my shoulder at the competition. You may sound promising, career fairs, but in the end, all you are is a huge opportunity to brown-nose. I think I'll pass...