Dear Career Fairs

You see that line??? I'll be damned if I have to wait in line to talk to some blowhole from HR at a career fair...

Today, I went to a career fair; and not just any career fair... My school's career fair. If you know me, you know what school it is, but that doesn't particularly mean much aside from personal semantics. This career fair could have been at any school, any campus and any city. That said, this was my first career fair, and probably my last.

Career fairs, I never saw the point in you. For two hours, I get to stand and walk around, look at booths that companies looking to hire graduates and interns put up, in the hopes that one of these companies will spot my genius. Here's the problem with all of you career fairs, though: EVERYONE GOES TO THEM. It's beginning to feel like you career fairs aren't really there to help the students and the jobless as much as you are the companies that are hiring. Think about it. If a job or company is a fisherman, we students are the bait, and you (the career fair) are the water, then these jobs are making a killing. They're reeling in a bunch of prospects, 95% of whom won't ever be contacted or called back, while we students swim around in you, hoping to be noticed by the fisherman. It doesn't help that we're all told the same things when we go to you. Every year I see some 'Insider's Guide' given out by the school to instruct us on how to 'attack' you. They all say one, or a combination of these things:

1. Bring your resume.
2. Don't dress like you're going to a rave.
3. Smile.
4. Ask for business cards and promotional material.
5. Follow-up in a week.
6. Ask questions.
7. Give answers that don't make you sound halfway retarded.

That, by no means, is an exhaustive list, but for most career-minded people, those fall within the common sense realm of knowledge. Regardless, the fact that there is all of this general information being spewed, as well as a dire lack of actual employment (I say actual, because these companies can't hire every 20 people who send a resume) make you, in my eyes a waste of time. Job fairs, it's not that I'm not looking for a career when I graduate, it's just that I'd rather not be another fish in your sea.

The economic climate is one where jobs are at a premium, and are becoming more specialized and experience-based. No, I'm not certain I'll get a job right out of school, but it beats going to one of you again. If it takes all of the networking, resume-building, and handshakes in the world, you won't find me in you again, stocking up on free candy and frisbees, and kissing some schmuck from HR's rear end, while looking over my shoulder at the competition. You may sound promising, career fairs, but in the end, all you are is a huge opportunity to brown-nose. I think I'll pass...

Justin Bieber x Kanye West x Raekwon - Runaway Love (Remix)

Justin Bieber x Kanye West x Raekwon - Runaway Love (Remix)

Say what you will about Justin Bieber's place in pop music and his diabolically squeaky-clean image, the young man knows his hip-hop, evidenced by interviews and numerous cosigns. Plus, the young man sounds like a damn cherub. Add his charms, a verse from Rae and Ye, and an interpolation of the Wu classic 'Wu-Tang Clan Ain't Nothing to F*ck With', and you have one hell of a crossover hit. Kanye was always a Bieber fan, but the Raekwon cosign was a pleasant surprise. It's refreshing to see that musicians aren't above accepting other types of music or other musicians, regardless of genre. To all of you 'hip-hop' purists saying Rae is selling out by adding Bieber, please go fall into a woodchipper. It's sad that people can't show flexibility without stans getting their panties in a bunch about 'real hip-hop'. Take the chewsticks out of your butt, turn off your Atmosphere album, and figure out why you're mad, while the rest of the world rocks out to this trill Justin Bieber chorus...

Dear Professional Baseball

DISCLAIMER: Before all of you baseball purists and 'America's Pastime' thumpers come and turn a Baseball Fury (100 e-points if you get that reference) on me, just know that I do watch baseball, and quite often in fact. I've just grown weary of summers dominated by baseball. It's as if the rest of the sports world takes summers off and we're stuck with an old, traditionalist of a sport. Check out these reasons for why professional baseball grinds my gears...

What about this was really exciting? #shoutout to the homie @JRSportBrief


1. Home runs suck. Don't deny it. Home runs are the most pointless highlight to ever flash before my TV screen. There's nothing particularly special about any particular home run, other than the fact that it clears the fence. Home runs are the same, every single time. It's a mystery to me as to why they even require the hitter to circle the bases. Doesn't the home run count as soon as it goes over the fence? Whatever the case, the crown jewel of the sport of baseball has grown less and less impressive as I've gotten older. And with the steroids era not yet in our rearview mirror, its still hard to give the nod to the home run's validity. Don't get me wrong. The feat of blasting a ball that far is impressive... But after seeing it once, I think the wow-factor wears off...

2. There's no parity in professional baseball. And that is coming from a born Yankees fan. As a betting man, there really is no reason to bet on baseball (sorry Pete Rose) considering the same teams are always winning, give or take a few that are declining. The lack of a salary cap has essentially made the MLB two leagues: the Haves and Have-nots, not the AL and NL. Squads like the Yankees, Phillies, Red Sox, Angels, Dodgers, White Sox, Braves and Mets are continuously the cream of the crop, while teams like the Royals, Astros, Padres, Pirates, Athletics, Indians and Orioles are always bottom-dwellers. Even when those sucky teams manage to find a diamond in the rough of a player, he gets scooped up by one of the bigger teams because his original squad can't afford him. It's almost hilarious, because you have to wonder why those small-market teams even try anymore. Professional baseball has no appeal because there's never any chance of one of the lesser teams making a run, or even improving enough each year to challenge one of the big teams...

3. Can anyone tell me what the manager of a baseball team does? Seriously... I want to know, because every time I see a shot of the manager on TV, he's either speaking to one of the coaches under him, sitting down looking disinterested (probably eating sunflower seeds), or yelling at an umpire. Oh yeah... and he gets up in the dugout only to call the bullpen. Other than that we see him making signals and staring off into space. Sounds like one hell of a job. And what's with the manager having to wear the uniforms as well? Most of those guys don't look as though they've lifted a weight in decades. Why would you want them squeezing themselves into those near skintight pants and jerseys? All in all, the idea of a baseball manager boggles my mind. The permanence of that position will never make sense...

4. The game takes is too long and too slow. I've yet to sit down in front of a television and watch an entire baseball game, from first pitch to the last out. Nor do I know many people who can, unless they're at the game life. To do so would be nearing brutality. Between the commercials in between innings and pitching changes, and the time between actual pitches, baseball is a sport made for time wasting and lazy people. That's especially considering how little actual play is going on when they do play. It takes over 3 and a half hours for one baseball game to be over, when there might be 45 minutes of actual playing. And then the 7th inning stretch? What exactly are they stretching from? When you're not batting, you're in the dugout clowning around with your teammates. And when you're in the field 9/10 of the time, you're just standing there hoping for the ball to get hit into play near your area. The result of this is a long-winded, low-action, BORING game...

EDIT: Add to that, the fact that the baseball season is 162 games long. 162 games!!!!! That means 4,860 4-hour games, which is a number I don't even want to attempt to multiply. A long season of long games equal bored fans, which explains why the postseason is so short. It seems like the MLB has it backwards. But hey, who am I to judge?

There couldn't be a more accurate picture in all of the internets...


5. Baseball is just active enough to be called a sport, but is too lazy to be up there with basketball, football, hockey and soccer. As I said in previous points, you really don't have a lot of on-field action, except when the ball is in play. That lends itself to a lot of baseball players being on the less athletic side. But has anyone ever taken a look at some pitchers and designated hitters? Do the names David Wells, Prince Fielder, Mo Vaughn, Carlos Zambrano or David Ortiz ring any bells? If they don't then just picture a fat man wielding a baseball bat or pitching a baseball, and you've got the gist. Seriously, baseball is the only sport where you can be legitimately FAT and still play. Never mind football where even the heftiest of lineman can run the 40 in under 5 seconds. I'd be surprised if any of the guys I listed above can run to the bathroom in under 5 seconds. Baseball just lends itself to being unathletic, yet very athletic in certain capacities, which makes me question it as a sport...

6. The rules in baseball are completely fudged. Only in the MLB can you hit a home run in one park and not hit one in another. Only in the MLB are the fences different heights in different stadiums or the outfields different areas. Only in the MLB is video-evidence eschewed because of the umpire's cataract-filled discerning eye. And only in the MLB do we have different rules for different leagues. Seriously, can baseball get its own rules down pat? How can you allow the designated hitter in the AL and not the NL or vice versa? Shouldn't there be some sort of standard for how the game is played at the professional level? How do I explain that concept to someone who's never watched baseball before (ie: the rest of the developing world sans Latin America & Japan)? I don't think I possess the words to do so, nor should I have to. Professional baseball seems more like a loose affiliation of leagues more than one entity because of these differences, and it takes away from the integrity of the game. Then again, everyone lied about steroids. Baseball doesn't have a lot of integrity to fall back on anyway...

Dear Tweeple

Last year, I posted 9 rules for Twitter that stated little, unwritten by-laws for my tweeps that would keep their Twitter experiences as sucka-free as possible. That list was, by no means exhaustive, or exclusive, as we've got 8 more guidelines that will keep your timeline out of the netherworld. They're based on general findings on Twitter and seeing some annoying people polluting my timeline with their balderdash and hullabaloo (love those two words). Follow these, and if so led, follow me @elektrik788. Here goes nothing...

1. Quit tweeting like or re-tweeting Rev Run. Seriously, it's annoying. I understand that people are thirsty for inspiration, but come on... Does any other reverend that you know walk around talking about haters or making up random acronyms for hood terminology? If you find one, please nominate him for a Nobel Prize. Until then, just don't hit 'Tweet'. Imagine Twitter to be a bunch of tables in a lunch room. No one wants to talk to the guy that's walking around, spewing out inspirational quotes. As a matter of fact, people would probably laugh at him. It's not that uplifting dialogue is a bad thing. It's that most people say this stuff but don't live it. I'd rather have my timeline filled with mindless chatter than a sea of wanna-be Rev Runs. Especially when most of the tweets are about as trite and cliche as a summer of Brett Favre announcements.

2. Ladies and gentlemen, this is a rule for the sexes. Gentlemen, stop trying to bag women off Twitter. It's a social networking site, not eHarmony.com. Seriously. Just because you dedicated a #FollowFriday to her, and tweet all of her favorite songs, does not mean she will recognize you in real life or even find you attractive. As a matter of fact, unless you've actually met this person in real life, it would behoove you to NOT act like you're pulling chicks through your 140 characters. And for the ladies, this one is simple: don't be a skeezah over the internets. A few twitpics here and a few suggestive tweets there, and every male follower you have will have the wrong idea about you. It's not that you should be bashful about your sexuality or love of it. It's just that some things are better left un-tweeted, your underwear shots and bathroom pics included.

3. Allow yourself some Twitter-free time people. As much as I love to tweet my little heart out, there are times when I won't be caught dead doing it. At some point you have to run out of poignant or hilarious stuff to say, or you're just not doing anything interesting enough to tweet about. That's when you take a little break. Turn off Twidroyd (or whatever phone app you have), close the browser and go do something that doesn't involve you head buried in your lap as you type away furiously. Not only will it clear your mental registry, you'll remember why you started tweeting in the first place. Newsflash: People can tell when you're constantly on Twitter. Try spending some time away from technology, people.

4. Quit it with the follower rush. By that I mean stop talking about how many followers you have, why you don't have followers, just to name a few topics. Your Twitter isn't a personal vanity mirror for you to see how many people find you funny, cute or insightful, though it may seem that way sometimes. I'm not saying that followers aren't important. To get a message out and to make sure that people on Twitter hear it, you need followers. But followers are gained through saying things that resonate with other people, not desperate pleas for attention or using a #teamfollowback hashtag every 20 minutes. Trust me, no one on #teamfollowback cares what you have to say anyway. You might as well save yourself the tweet...

5. If you're a musician, designer, DJ, or creator of any type of media, don't tweet people with your work unsolicited. Plain as that. And that goes for your fans, too. Don't hit me and 30 other bloggers and 1000 other people you follow with a link to your mixtape, especially if you have no relationship with these folks other than being on Twitter. Not only does it look like you're desperate, but it makes your work look weaker because you have to push it so hard. Good work stands out regardless of how you find it. There's no need to flood my timeline with singles and videos and promo that myself and 95% of the people you send it to won't listen to. You'd be better off just working on your music, designing, DJing than hitting people on Twitter. Chances are, half the people who said they listened, didn't anyway. Also, doing that defeats the purpose of social networking. The key word there is 'networking'. Which chapter of the 'Idiot's Guide to Social Networking' includes pushing your product in people's faces and hoping for a response? I thought so. Build relationships on Twitter, not contact lists...

6. Learn the Twitter protocol, as in @-ing someone, re-tweeting and DMing. Yeah, this is nitpicky. Yet, how many times has a tweet been completely indecipherable because there are 5 different users in it, each re-tweeting with a different format? You might as well not even re-tweet, if the next person who sees it wonders if you and your homeboys have Twitter-dyslexia. I know I'm not the only one who's genuinely irked by seeing sloppy mentions and re-tweets. That goes for @-ing people, too. If the dialogue takes up 4 or more tweets, and is more than public in nature, just DM the person. Or better yet, e-mail, text, IM, Wave, Facebook, or even call the person. Twitter is for short messages and terse conversation, not full-on catching up.

7. I said this in the last post to you, Tweeps, but this is really irking me. People, 1f YuH tYp3 LyK3 DiSz, 1 WiLl uNf0110wH YuH... It's as simple as that. There's nothing cute or cool about misspelling words on purpose. Some terminology needs to be either abbreviated or adjusted for spatial reasons, and other terminology just doesn't lend itself to typing. Making exceptions for those is cool. However, turning your tweet into a mashup of Matrix code, hood ratchetness, and a Rosetta Stone lesson is about as cool as putting rims on a minivan. Not only do you look stupid, everyone riding in that van (retweeting; if anyone does it) looks retarded too. People wonder why literature and writing are going down the shitter. Just one look at Twitter, and we know why. Just because it's the internets, does not mean grammar, spelling, diction, and punctuation go out the window...

8. One of the best parts when I began was the trending topics. At any given point in the day there was a topic or hashtag worth tweeting about. The topics ranged from anything to sports, everyday life, music, or what have you. Now all of the topics are relationship ones, usually bashing the opposite sex. It's either that, or rehashed versions of older topics. It's not that I have a problem with new tweeps getting their try at the #TT's. It's that most of the heads 'going in' on these topics have been going in on them for months now. Give it a rest. We know you don't like hoes. We know you love sex. We know you're pro-Obama on everything and #cantstand a horde of things. Doesn't mean we have to hear about it every day, with a different hashtag attached to it...

9. Point blank, most celebrities have Twitter for one reason, and one reason alone: promotion. If you can't help them with that, aren't one of their personal friends, or don't have anything constructive to say to them, please stop tweeting them as if you were such. These people wouldn't recognize you in a police lineup or walking down the street. What makes you think that they care about your tweets more than the next user? Yeah, that's negative. Yeah, it's sad. But it's true. As a matter of fact, if you keep hitting them up and they don't respon, what does that say about you? Maybe you should focus on having something of worth to tweet about rather than sucking at the kneecaps of Ashton Kutcher and Diddy...

There you have it, tweeps. Another year, and another list of things that will get you unfollowed. Don't take some of these grievances personally, because we're all guilty of them at some point. It's just that some tweeps take them overboard, while others are only momentarily guilty. Take heed, so you don't get labeled 'that guy' on Twitter...

Dear Delusional Cavaliers Fans

The LeBron-athon, and it's subsequent wake is OVER. Let me repeat. The LeBron-athon is OVER. LeBron James is a Miami Heat (they need to work on their subject-verb agreement in the NBA), and is no longer a Cleveland Cavalier. It's over. Cavs fans, it's time you started preparing for a new season without he-who-shall-not-be-named-anymore. The fact that a man can't show up at a Cleveland Indians game (a completely different sport, mind you) donning a different jersey without catching shade is a terrible. You should feel ashamed for trying to kick the guy out of the stadium, when he wasn't even trying to start trouble. Whatever the case from some random Indians game (they're not making the playoffs anyway), it stands to say that you guys still haven't recovered from the LeBron fallout. Mo Williams is going to be your best player going into the season. I don't know whether to feel bad for this season or really good because you'll have a good lottery pick this season. All signs are pointing to a long, long, long season in Cleveland, which makes your anger understandable. What that doesn't do is allow you guys to turn into the stereotypical sports fans you look like in these videos. A guy really can't wear a LeBron Heat jersey to a baseball game without being harassed? It's not even the same sport!!! I could see the ire if he showed up for Cavs opening night decked out in heat gear. Otherwise it just comes off as petty. You mad? (Cam'ron voice) If so, you'd better get used to frustration coming from the basketball court, because it's not going away until you get the #1 pick again. And guess what? No amount of peanuts and beers thrown, LeBron jerseys burned or angry open letters will ever get LeBron James back. He's moved on to bigger and (hopefully) better things. Deal with it, and just watch the damn game...

Dear Lupe Fiasco

You hear that, Lupe? The industry called.. It wants to know when you're handing your manhood over...


Lupe Fiasco - BMF (Building Minds Faster)

Let me get this off my chest first Lupe: That BMF freestyle was WEAK!!! Now that we've gotten that out of the way, here goes:

It's a sad day in music when a person has to finally admit that their favorite artist, contrary to popular belief, CAN do some wrong. Lupe, You've been my favorite rapper for the latter half of the decade, replacing whatever crap I was listening to previously. For those years of fanhood, I've had to sit through countless hip-hop arguments with people who thought you were lame, convoluted, whiny, overrated, too nerdy, not hood enough, and whatever other knocks they could find on you. For those years of fanhood, I toiled scouring lyrics and songs for instances that you shined. For every Weezy punchline, I had an entire verse that trumped it. For every Jay-Z song that became an earworm, I had a track bumped harder. Yet, for every album you released, I had a complaint. Yes, a complaint, Lu. You see, for an artist as talented as yourself, there always has to be a catch, and with that catch, a complaint from fans:

Your first album, while good, was NOTHING compared to the original, leaked version. From beginning (Theme Music to a Drive-by is one of the best intro's I've ever heard) through the middle ('Trials & Tribulations' and 'Real Recognize Real' still are in rotation) to the end, the ORIGINAL Food and Liquor was damn near a classic. Pulling it, then re-releasing it with wacker versions of original songs and throwaway tracks was a mistake. Your second album 'Lupe Fiasco's The Cool' was also good, but was riddled with tracks that probably should've been B-sides rather than album cuts. I'm not going to lie and say I didn't bump both of them into the ground due to my immense fanhood, but 3 years without a release makes for a rough time as a fan.

It is now 2010, three years since a Lupe Fiasco album, and 6 months since an official Lupe Fiasco mixtape. In today's industry, and to today's fan, that's entirely too long. Your name is out of the loop, people forget about you, and then give you the 'huh?' look when you claim you're the best. As much as it sucks to admit, promotion is EVERYTHING, and you've been lacking in that department for a while now. Now that Lasers is supposedly done, and you're being held from releasing it by Atlantic, you want to whine and complain about label woes and how their not pushing it for you. Lupe, you've got to remember that the industry owes you NOTHING!!! You hear that? NOTHING. The amount of artists who've had their careers chewed up and spat out within the course of a few months is constantly rising. And here you are, signed to a major labor, sporting a large and dedicated fanbase, getting mad because your stuff gets leaked and the label won't do anything about it? Lupe, grow up!

You ever take note of Wayne or Gucci when they went to jail?? No one really missed their presence in hip-hop because they constantly have stuff coming out, whether it's throwaway tracks, mixtape features, or just mixtapes in general. Lupe, in the last year, I think I've heard a total of 10 tracks from you. That's sad. No artist can put out less than a track per month and expect a label to be behind them (except Jay Electronica). Lu, going back to the fans (myself being one of them), there's been a #WeWantLASERS trending topic and petition on Twitter for about a week. Is it just me, or does it look like these fans are going to be tweeting and petitioning for naught? I know you'd like to say no, just so it sounds like you're trying, but we know that the Lupe we love on wax may never find his way back. It's not that you've lost your talent. It's that you got caught up in trying not to be 'the Cool' and stopped putting out what made you in the first place: the music. It's not enough to just sit there complaining about what people aren't doing for you or are doing to you. If you don't try to overcome it by doing what you do best, they win; labels, leakers et. al. Please Lupe, put us fans out of our misery and put out music that's worthy of your imprint, not random freestyles complaining about why you've got no buzz. If you're ever going to 'blow' you'll need a lot more than a subpar freestyle to a Rick Ross track...

Dear General McChrystal

Yeah.. My pimp hand is to be reckoned with...

via The New York Times:

By the time he woke up Wednesday morning, President Obama had made up his mind.

During the 36 frenetic hours since he had been handed an article from the coming issue of Rolling Stone ominously headlined “The Runaway General,” the president weighed the consequences of cashiering Gen. Stanley A. McChrystal, whose contemptuous comments about senior officials had ignited a firestorm.

Mr. Obama, aides say, consulted with advisers — some, like Defense Secretary Robert M. Gates, who warned of the dangers of replacing General McChrystal, others, like his political advisers, who thought he had to go. He reached out for advice to a soldier-statesman, Colin L. Powell. He identified a possible successor to lead the war in Afghanistan.

And then, finally, the president ended General McChrystal’s command in a meeting that lasted only 20 minutes. According to one aide, the general apologized, offered his resignation and did not lobby for his job.

After a seesaw debate among White House officials, “there was a basic meeting of the minds,” said Rahm Emanuel, the White House chief of staff and a major player in the deliberations. “This was not good for the mission, the military and morale,” Mr. Emanuel said.

I never thought I'd be quoting 50 Cent to start out a letter. Then again, I never thought George Bush would get re-elected in 2004 and we all know how that ended. Yet, 50 sheds some great knowledge on 'Patiently Waiting':

You shouldn't throw stones if you live in a glass house / and if you got a glass jaw, you should watch your mouth

It's pretty sad that you're not a rap fan, General McChrystal, though even a blind man could've seen your termination happening after your comments in Rolling Stone against Obama's administration and their handling of the ongoing war in the Middle East. My question is, did you really think you'd be able to pull that off? I mean, seriously, Rolling Stone is one of the most famous magazines in history, read worldwide by millions of aging punk rock fans with their post-60s & 70s ideals of democracy and foreign policy. If there was any magazine not to bash the President and his people in, it was Rolling Stone. Also, what was up with how you were acting in the spread? You more or less personified every redneck to ever grace a voting booth in the interview. What kind of military representative begins an interview by giving the interviewer the finger? I thought we were past the whole MTV-age, shock value publicity stunts. Next, why would you call a dinner with a French dignitary gay? My man, you sound like a 12-year-old with a limited vocabulary.

I'm not going to lie though. I don't support the war. Obama should've had a better plan for exit, rather than leaving it up to the military to finish what they know they couldn't complete. That said, whining about it to the press doesn't do the military, or more importantly, you, any good. Making snide remarks about the boos on any other job will get you canned faster than tuna fish. Doing it with the President will likely have a WMD mailed to your front step. Okay, maybe not that serious, but you'll definitely have time to look out for it, now that you've been replaced. At the same time, I don't even feel sorry about you, considering how much movearound there is among the political ranks these days. You should have another gig in no time. Maybe this time you won't get drunk with your gun-wielding people and start mouthing off about stuff you have no business talking about...

Dear (the) Dream

If you are around excitable cats or sensitive glass, please DO NOT play this song..

Now, for the past 4 years or so, I've sat back and watched you, Terius Nash. I've watched you turn R&B from an art for sangers (not singers) to a falsetto-laced, synthesized snore-fest for fat producers. After hearing this, I have to demand this: dude, please just give up. I know that Christina Milian has you a little hot under the collar (for God's sake, I'd feel the same way). But that doesn't mean you can resurrect classic R&B tracks whenever you feel inspired. You see, Dream, Aaliyah could actually sing and perform, two things that I have yet to hear that you can do. Sure, you're the 'Radio Killa,' but what does killing the radio even mean? That you make catchy singles that are cool to ride out on a Saturday night to? Sure. That your songs are about as deep as the kiddie pool? Absolutely. It even might mean that you are somewhat of a genius when it comes to that niche. However, the mark of a good artist in today's music industry is an artist that knows when to stay in their lane, and when to expand. Trey Songz can throw together the sing-songy raps like R. Kelly, so it's understandable. Hell, Drake can hold a tune, so he sings every once in a while (more often now than earlier). You, however, should do no such thing. Regardless of how many records you sell, or features you're on, or whatever metric you want to use as proof that you're a good musician, you CANNOT SING. No, it's not me hating. It's me having respect for the artform. Maybe you should learn some too. Lord knows you wouldn't catch Johnny Cash rapping or Lil'Wayne trying to play guitar. Wait... Wayne had that 'Rebirth' album.... Anyway, please hand in your pass to cover the R&B hits of the 90's. You're doing yourself, and those stars (dead or alive) a disservice...

This image should be a PSA for artists stepping out of their lane...