Dear Marshawn Lynch

I'm guessing you're used to having your way with white women. That works in college, not real life...

via The Buffalo News:

Buffalo Bills running back Marshawn Lynch took $20 from a Southtowns woman at a Hamburg restaurant last month, according to information received by The Buffalo News.

The woman's husband, Buffalo Police Sgt. William Crawford, filed a complaint with Hamburg police a day after the incident, but they delayed giving a statement to detectives until Wednesday, in part because she wanted to wait until the Bills' football season ended and Lynch was out of town...

"He takes the $20 out of her hand, and my wife says "What are you doing?' and Lynch says "Don't worry.' When my wife's girlfriend came back to the table, she told her about it. The girlfriend approached Lynch and said, "Give my friend her money back,' and Lynch threatened her saying "Do you know who I am? There's going to be consequences.'

First of all, let me give a big #shoutout to all of the broke-ass rich athletes out there. Whether it's Latrell Sprewell turning down a $10 million contract because there wasn't enough money to 'feed his kids', or Gilbert Arenas airing out his fiscal troubles on Twitter, or Antoine Walker filing for bankruptcy last year, this article is dedicated to you:

Marshawn, I've always liked your style on the field: tough, gritty and north-south. That said, should that kind of behavior still be accepted off the field? Marshawn, you do realize that taking money directly out of someone's hand is considered stealing?? I wonder if you do, because the way you snatched that $20 out of the lady's hand makes it seem like you're going under a whole different set of laws out here. The reasoning you gave was AWESOME. I mean, if you're going to be a big, tough football player, you might as well give a really stupid answer for why you're stealing money. And after that, telling your team that the lady was a 'friend' was PRICELESS. If I'm going to be an athlete, then I definitely want to be able to wield that kind of power off the field, where people automatically just listen, because I'm an athlete. Not that I'd be a regular citizen too, just with a huge bankroll, but you played that perfectly. I also wanted to ask you what that $20 was for. I suppose when you sign a $10 million dollar contract, everyone's money is your money. Whatever the case, I hope you spent it wisely. Teams are cutting the black sheep faster than your 40-time. Ahh, to live the life of a broke-ass rich athlete...

Dear Teddy Riley

The phrase is correct, but the actions are dead wrong...

Okay Teddy, I will not lie. Blackstreet was one of my favorite groups. I still sing No Diggity, Baby Be Mine and Don't Leave Me Girl to this day. You guys paved the way for the R&B group explosion of the late 90's and were innovators in terms of sound. You however, have truly disappointed me. I've always been a firm believer that discipline in a child's life is second only to love. Whether corporal, or simple positive reinforcement, the discipline in a child's life is one of the more prevalent factors in shaping them as an adult. That said, what the hell, Teddy?? Since when has it been okay to beat a child with their Christmas present? You see, Teddy, there is a HUGE difference between discipline and abuse, and you crossed it.

According to the ridiculous Twitter argument between you and your daughter (readers, you can find that for yourself; I refuse to cite TMZ or MTO), she was unhappy with your new girlfriend and decided to voice that opinion. Call me new school, or progressive, but when a child reaches a certain age (18 in your daughter's case), they have a pretty good scope of relationships, even if they haven't been in one themselves. Now this is just an assumption, but your new girlfriend probably isn't your first of that variety (young, and money hungry), and probably won't be your last. You may even love the woman, which is cool. But at what point do you take your daughter's feelings into consideration?

Even if you didn't agree with what she was saying, I'm sure hitting her with a Rock Band guitar probably isn't the best way to leave your fatherly imprint on her. In fact, I'm even more sure that doing that will make her despise you even more. I'm no family expert. Nor was I there when the incident, and subsequent Twitter argument (funny that there is such a thing, isn't it?) took place. But your daughter was there before your girlfriend, and will be there after (not trying to put a hex on your girl; I'm just telling it how it is) her. Don't alienate and abuse her because she told you that you need to stop putting p*ssy on a pedestal...

Dear Congress.. and all the football Fans in it

Why does Congress want their hands in on THIS too??

via the Associated Press:

WASHINGTON – Dismissing complaints from some members that Congress had more pressing matters, a House subcommittee approved legislation Wednesday aimed at forcing college football to switch to a playoff system to determine its national champion.

"We can walk across the street and chew gum at the same time," said the subcommittee chairman, Illinois Democrat Bobby Rush, one of the bill's co-sponsors. "We can do a number of things at the same time."

The legislation, which still faces steep odds, would ban the promotion of a postseason NCAA Division I Football Bowl Subdivision game as a national championship unless it results from a playoff. The measure passed by voice vote in the House Energy and Commerce Committee's commerce, trade and consumer protection subcommittee, with one audible "no," from Rep. John Barrow, D-Ga.

Okay, I'm as big a college football fan as the next, as I'm sure Barack Obama and every other politician does. That said, I think if my opinion as a casual sports fan doesn't count, then why should that of Congress?? Guys, we are in the middle of reforming our health care for the first time in 60 years, re-deploying 10,000 troops to Afghanistan, still reeling in a recession, and have a hole in the ozone layer the size of Rosie O'Donnell. Why then, in God's name, is college football legislation that high up on the list? Congress, your M.O. for the past 10 years has been NOT to meddle in the affairs of private firms. Now that Barack is elected, the first thing you do is try to interfere with sports?

I'm not going to lie. I think the BCS is full of shit and more or less gives the 20+ teams not in the national championship a weak consolation prize. Instead of BS'ing the other teams, why not have a playoff? That said, the issue at hand really shouldn't be at the forefront of your concerns. What's worse is that the bill doesn't even really do anything. It only prohibits the BCS from calling their title game a 'national championship game' unless it's from a playoff system. So in addition to having your nose sniffing where it really shouldn't be, you guys didn't even finish the job!! It's a sad day in America when our hastiness in legislation only translates to insignificant legalities. Lord knows a college football playoff won't help end the recession, and it DAMN sure won't get our troops out of the Middle East. Congress, please step it up...