Dear NBA Lockout

Dear God... If you love us, please don't bring this back.

Comparisons are the backbone of sports analysis. You can't give a fair estimation of any player, team, era or anything related to sports without something prior to measure it up to. LeBron vs. Kobe vs. Michael. Dwight Howard vs. Shaq. Showtime Lakers vs. Kobe & Shaq Lakers. Detroit Bad Boys vs. Detroit Bad Boys v2.0. Comparisons have a way of shortening the time capsule known as sports history, so that even the least knowledgeable basketball fans can join in the discussion. The dearth of information on NBA.com, basketball-reference.com and Wikipedia give us an archive of the happenings that make the NBA great. That said, one comparison that I'd rather not even have the chance to make is that concerning you, NBA Lockout.

In 1998, after Michael Jordan willed another 3 titles out of his beleaguered limbs, the NBA was at an impasse similar to that of today. The league had seen unparalleled levels of success, notoriety and viewership. An influx of young talent, namely from the 1996 Draft had restocked the rosters with stars that still play today. Yet, no one was happy with the league. Players and teams argued about player salaries. Team owners argued with the NBA offices about how little money they were making. Fans argued with fans about who was to blame for all of the arguing. Arguments, arguments and arguments. Sounds familiar, doesn't it?

NBA Lockout, in 1998 you brought my worst fears to fruition: a half-assed season; 50 games clearly devoid of the spark that made the NBA great during the early-to-mid 90s. It was painful to watch. No All-Star Game. A virtual vacuous shell of a season, that in retrospect, may as well have not even happened. An exciting, yet wary NBA Finals. These are the shadows that haunt me today, NBA Lockout. If you happen, that's all I can see. Months of deliberation and sitting in front of SportsCenter hoping for good news. Interviews with superstars and owners all blaming one another for losing money, when everyone should be bearing the onus.

At this point in NBA history, you would be absolutely destructive. Not as much from a monetary standpoint, but in terms of momentum. After your last inception, the amount of knocks that the NBA took was detestable. From waning viewership because no one could relate to stars or cared enough, to basketbrawls that painted the NBA in a thuggish light, to a vacuum of talent, it took the NBA another 8 years to regain its fire. Lockout, you would bring the NBA back into the dark ages of basketball. Those years from 1999 to around 2004 were boring by today's standards, no matter how many times teams tried to reignite themselves. Guys like Michael Olowokandi, Darius Miles, Trajon Langdon were cast into spotlights devoid of substance simply because you forced teams to look elsewhere for talent. And it's going to happen again. Just look at this past draft, all of the players that stayed in college, and it's obvious.

They say that those who don't learn from their history are doomed to repeat it. What makes your impending reappearance so sad is that you'll probably happen again next decade. In this age where the players clearly have more pull than management (just ask Carmelo), there's little reason to have a Collective Bargaining Agreement that lasts more than 6 or 7 years. Last year's free agent frenzy makes it so that every player averaging over 17 points a game thinks they can swindle their way into a $10M/year contract, and owners thinking they can buy a championship a la the Heat. Players see the dollar signs from million dollar endorsements on behalf of the league. At the same time, owners still see shrinking pockets, with 22 of the 30 franchises losing money. Owners see the balooning player egos and believe the only way to reign them in is to jump into you. Rather than have a real discussion about where the money is going, everyone wants to discuss why the money isn't going to them. Lockout, you bring the green-eyed monsters in every NBA personality out so that nobody wins. You did it in 1998 and if the NFL bears any similarity, you seem poised to do it again.

Do me a favor, lockout. Stay in the annals of NBA history. Keep all of your salary arbitration, endless meetings, arguments and debates in the past. Do me this favor and keep yourself from tainting what was a miraculous run of NBA growth with your money-hungry ideology. Do me this favor and keep the NBA from reverting back to a business. You can't decry the need for better sportsmanship and increased engagement while fighting over dollars. Do me this favor so that we don't have to go through an entire fall and winter of baseball talk. Long live the complete, unadulterated NBA, and death to a Wikipedia entry with 2011-2012 listed as a lockout season. That's a comparison or conversation I never want to have...

Dear Dan Gilbert

Caption: Am I f*cking up??

via The New York Times:

Cleveland fans, you can still hold your heads high: The curse has been lifted! Or so the Cavaliers owner Dan Gilbert asserts, in an open letter to “Cleveland, all of Northeast Ohio and Cleveland Cavaliers supporters wherever you may be tonight.”

While some in the city and state that once hailed LeBron James as “king” burned his jerseys, Gilbert promised a much brighter future while simultaneously chastising and berating James for his “cowardly betrayal” of his hometown fans.

“But the good news is that this heartless and callous action can only serve as the antidote to the so-called ‘curse’ on Cleveland, Ohio,” Gilbert wrote, noting that the “self-titled former ‘king” will be taking the bad luck and karma with him to South Beach. With the “curse” on its way to Miami, Cleveland is now primed to win a championship, in Gilbert’s eyes. In all capital letters, in the middle of the letter, Gilbert made a vow to Cavaliers fans everywhere:

“I PERSONALLY GUARANTEE THAT THE CLEVELAND CAVALIERS WILL WIN AN NBA CHAMPIONSHIP BEFORE THE SELF-TITLED FORMER ‘KING’ WINS ONE.”

Cleveland, Gilbert says, won’t just live on, it will prosper. Its children won’t have the image of a selfish role model draped over their arenas, and its front offices will be working harder than ever to win a championship against James.

As everyone is sitting there hating LeBron on the Heat, and raising their blood pressure over a deal that sealed basketball future, it would be easy to write about LeBron. However, the media firestorm, combined with the entire experience of the LeBronathon sickened me, so I'm not writing a part 2 to the previous letter. Instead we're going to take a look at you, Dan Gilbert. The owner that gave up the best player in the NBA.

I can't think of ANY time in the NBA when a team would allow, not only their best player to walk in free agency, but the best player in the NBA, and the world! Dan, you really dropped the ball on this one. The Cavaliers have had 7 (count em; 7) seasons to win an NBA Championship with LeBron James. That's 7 different seasons and 7 different chances to win. In NBA years, that's a long time. Dynasties are forged within 2-3 years. We're watching the end of one (sorry Lakers) and the beginning of a dynasty of endless epic proportions. The fact that you had well over twice that time to build a championship-caliber team around LeBron is sad. In those 7 years, I can't think of one season where James had a legitimate 2nd option on the team. Signing Larry Hughes was a joke and Mo Williams can't produce in the postseason. Not to mention, Antawn Jamison never can cut it in crunch time. Everytime your team won, it was because LeBron did something extraordinarily skilled or inhumanly athletic, not because someone else contributed consistently. Therefore, you can't ever be mad that he left to get some support (I think he went for broke for no reason, but that's another letter) around him. LeBron might have taken the easy way out, but can you blame him?

Your letter to the fans sounded like an angry ex-girlfriend who's ex-boyfriend upgraded significantly. It sounded like you were trying to find any conceivable way to speak ill of that person, regardless of whether you did right by them or not. What's worse is that you guaranteed a title before the Heat. You can't promise that!! What crystal ball were you looking into? Dan, you do realize that the your team, the Cavs have NOBODY on the squad. You guys won't be competing in the Eastern Conference for a long time. The Heat are a juggernaut, and they only have 4 players on their roster. The Celtics just re-upped with Jermaine O'Neal, the Bulls got better with Boozer and the Magic are still the Magic. Not to mention, the rest of the East is getting better. All that, combined with the fact that LeBron tried to smooth his move to Miami over with apologies, made you flip. That doesn't mean you should write angry letters to fans bashing the man. Seriously... Who tries to put a hex on a player leaving his team? Did you sit there at home and prick your LeBron James voodoo doll? Had you simply expressed remorse, or sounded optimistic (neither would truly make a difference, anyway), you wouldn't look like an ass now or have to start from square one with the Cavaliers and with Cleveland. Hope your wallets will be okay as Cleveland's economy rapidly declines and the Cavs don't make the playoffs for another 15 years...

First this, and now LeBron leaves?? Maybe Cleveland just isn't meant to win...

Dear Michael Jordan

"Now, I can own you on and off the court!"

via The Wall Street Journal:

Michael Jordan, arguably the greatest player in basketball history, has reached a deal to buy an NBA franchise. Mr. Jordan has agreed to buy a majority interest of the Charlotte Bobcats from Robert L.Johnson, the team's majority owner, according to a statement released by Mr. Johnson Saturday. The deal is subject to league approval. Terms of the deal weren't disclosed, but the sale price was beneath $300 million— "in the mid-to-high twos," said a person familiar with the matter. Terms of the deal were not disclosed.

Mr. Johnson, the founder of Black Entertainment Television, paid $300 million for the expansion franchise in 2003, but the team has been losing money amid a rough economy and years of poor on-court performance. In the past two years, the team has attempted to save money by doing everything from shedding at least 40 front-office jobs to saving as much as $15,000 a night by hiring cheap halftime-entertainment acts. Neither Mr. Jordan nor Mr. Johnson were available for comment.

Michael, you are the greatest player to have lived, in my opinion. Numerous childhood memories of basketball were shaped by the man we know as Air Jordan. It would seem as if being a player of that caliber would afford you an unparalleled knowledge of basketball. Unfortunately for you, Mike, that hasn't been the case. For lack of a better word, your decisions while dealing with the Washington Wizards were stupid. Kwame Brown turned out to be nothing more than a punchline, and other than you playing, the Wizards went nowhere but home during your tenure as Director of Basketball Operations. With Charlotte, you were given a minuscule role, just pouring money in, rather than making decisions, which hasn't turned out too bad.

Enter 2010, and we hear that you're finally going to buy a controlling stake in the Charlotte Bobcats. *GASP* My heart jumped into my esophagus upon hearing that news, not because I was excited to see you in the front office, but because I know what happens when you and money get involved (1993 gambling controversy anyone??). Michael, the Charlotte Bobcats are on the rise. They just had their first All-Star nomination in Gerald Wallace, Stephen Jackson is still playing out of his mind, and they just made a trade to bring high-flyer Tyrus Thomas in. All signs are pointing forward for the franchise. Now, I'm not going to sit here and say that the Bobcats are destined for doom with you at the helm, because Bob Johnson didn't do much himself. #imjustsayin that your track record has a few holes in it when you're not on the court. Michael, I wish you all the best of luck as the owner of the Bobcats. Just make sure that as the new owner, you at least get a stylist, because no owner should be coming out of the house looking like this...

For someone who revolutionized fashion, you'd think he wouldn't be shopping at TJ-Maxx...

Dear NBA Owners

I guess owning the Clippers has its perks when you're the one pulling the strings, whether they win or lose...

It's been a long time coming, but slowly and surely, the summer of 2010 will be upon us. A year ago, it seemed like all of the speculation around potential free agents was all sizzle and no steak. Now that it's 2010, and a lockout is becoming more and more imminent by the day, a lot of you are trying to save your asses. You're looking to set yourself up for the summer to get a good pickup, and also trying to make sure your teams will be solvent and your assets players will be safe from the bullshit of arbitration. That said, I can understand the frenzy. At the same time, I think it is detestable how you guys are treating your players, because it's going to affect the game soon.

Whether it's Marcus Camby finding out about his trade (2 days after the fact) from his agent while at dinner with his family, or John Salmons being left at the team's hotel on a gameday upon his trade, it's obvious: you guys have become less and less concerned with the treatment of their players and more with the bottom line. And that bottom line is coming before player morale (the Nets look like they're writing suicide notes), the team winning (Knicks; 'nuff said) and even federal law (coughGilbertcoughcoughArenascough). But seriously, when will it stop guys? When will the cap-clearing and player shuffling stop? When will you guys hold on to your players so that there's some sense of loyalty? I'm not going to lie. Players are spoiled prima donnas sometimes. Sometimes moving players need to be moved for one reason or another. Sometimes the money does override the player's interest. But here's an interesting thought: maybe taking care of your players would lead to better outcomes and less friction between the players and the ownership.


T-Mac probably would have gone right back to this, given the time to rest...

Think about it: Why didn't LeBron participate in the Dunk Contest this year? He didn't want to get injured and have the front office start yanking his money. Look at T-Mac (PRAYING he's back to form for the Knicks). Why was his departure from Houston so hard? The ownership didn't want to lose their asset player, and would rather him rot on the bench. Look at Chris Paul, who's team decided to have surgery on his knee, instead of letting it heal naturally. He could have stayed out and rehabbed the knee correctly, but is probably going to play again this season (another order from the management), and re-aggravate it. And there are historical precedents for this, like A'mare Stoudamire or J-Kidd, who's careers were slowed down by their teams opting for quick returns. You guys really do treat the players like assets. No wonder there's going to be a lockout. Players won't play for you guys unless they know their money is safe, because they know once you're done with them, they get dropped.

I suppose it is just business, and we are in a recession. but at the end of the day, is the NBA doing good business right now? Players against the owners, injuries galore, wack All-Star Games and lack of competition don't sound like a success to me. Then again, most people would rather wack basketball than none. Get it together, owners. This summer will definitely be crazy, but you guys have to do your players right, and I guarantee they'll do right by you...