The Census: No One Man Should Have All That Power

PREAMBLE: For those of you who haven't been following the blog since last year, I had a section on it called 'The Census'. The premise behind it was that I would present an issue, then pose a question in a poll, where you, the readers would have the opportunity to vote on it for a week. Unfortunately, the voting got a little sparse, so I canned it... Until now. The Census is back, but now, rather than voting on it, I simply implore you, friends, to chime in in the comments section. One of the reasons I started Dear Whoever was to have an open forum for dialogue on what's going on in the world today. Some of that dialogue takes place through my letters, but I would love it if my readers got some time to voice their opinions. So here goes... This is the first round of the new, kinda improved, Census. Enjoy folks...



I guess the title is a little misleading, considering Justin Bieber is merely a teenager (didn't stop the Power Rangers, though). At the same time, he's not exempt from the rules that govern the social media frenzy that has everyone glued to their computers and phones now. And while we're on the topic of being glue to one's phone, please take a look below to see the kind of influence and power that we give to one man. Justin Bieber retaliated against a failed Twitter hack by tweeting that person's phone number to his 4.5 million fans (source). The fan, Detroit teen Kevin Kristopik, went on to receive over 26,000 texts ranging from laughter to outright hate. His cell phone bill is estimated to be upwards of $5000, given he doesn't have unlimited texting. Cell phone fees aside, is this the kind of society that we live in? Do the frivolities of celebrities enamor us that much that we kowtow to their every beck and call. Truthfully, what did any of those 26,000 text messages do for the people that weren't Justin Bieber. My guess is little to nothing. So I suppose the question is, how did we allow someone to gain that type of influence over people? The same thing happened to the 'chosen one,' a random Twitter user that Kanye West decided to follow. Steven Holmes had to delete his Twitter to get away from the promoters, social media hawks and random bystanders contacting him because of some supposed 'relationship' he had with Kanye. Is it just me or has social networking gotten a little too crazy?

That's what happens to your phone when you mess with Justin Bieber's Twitter...


So tell me people, where do you stand on the power of social media and how much influence we place in the hands of celebrities through that medium? Do we give stars too much pull in our lives? How is it that Justin Bieber can get thousands of fan(atics) to barrage a phone and Kanye can cause a person's social networking experience to crumble? Where do we draw the line between harmless online fun, and jeer-worthy groupthink? Please, please, please throw some comments below. I'd love to hear what you guys think!

Dear Tweeple

Last year, I posted 9 rules for Twitter that stated little, unwritten by-laws for my tweeps that would keep their Twitter experiences as sucka-free as possible. That list was, by no means exhaustive, or exclusive, as we've got 8 more guidelines that will keep your timeline out of the netherworld. They're based on general findings on Twitter and seeing some annoying people polluting my timeline with their balderdash and hullabaloo (love those two words). Follow these, and if so led, follow me @elektrik788. Here goes nothing...

1. Quit tweeting like or re-tweeting Rev Run. Seriously, it's annoying. I understand that people are thirsty for inspiration, but come on... Does any other reverend that you know walk around talking about haters or making up random acronyms for hood terminology? If you find one, please nominate him for a Nobel Prize. Until then, just don't hit 'Tweet'. Imagine Twitter to be a bunch of tables in a lunch room. No one wants to talk to the guy that's walking around, spewing out inspirational quotes. As a matter of fact, people would probably laugh at him. It's not that uplifting dialogue is a bad thing. It's that most people say this stuff but don't live it. I'd rather have my timeline filled with mindless chatter than a sea of wanna-be Rev Runs. Especially when most of the tweets are about as trite and cliche as a summer of Brett Favre announcements.

2. Ladies and gentlemen, this is a rule for the sexes. Gentlemen, stop trying to bag women off Twitter. It's a social networking site, not eHarmony.com. Seriously. Just because you dedicated a #FollowFriday to her, and tweet all of her favorite songs, does not mean she will recognize you in real life or even find you attractive. As a matter of fact, unless you've actually met this person in real life, it would behoove you to NOT act like you're pulling chicks through your 140 characters. And for the ladies, this one is simple: don't be a skeezah over the internets. A few twitpics here and a few suggestive tweets there, and every male follower you have will have the wrong idea about you. It's not that you should be bashful about your sexuality or love of it. It's just that some things are better left un-tweeted, your underwear shots and bathroom pics included.

3. Allow yourself some Twitter-free time people. As much as I love to tweet my little heart out, there are times when I won't be caught dead doing it. At some point you have to run out of poignant or hilarious stuff to say, or you're just not doing anything interesting enough to tweet about. That's when you take a little break. Turn off Twidroyd (or whatever phone app you have), close the browser and go do something that doesn't involve you head buried in your lap as you type away furiously. Not only will it clear your mental registry, you'll remember why you started tweeting in the first place. Newsflash: People can tell when you're constantly on Twitter. Try spending some time away from technology, people.

4. Quit it with the follower rush. By that I mean stop talking about how many followers you have, why you don't have followers, just to name a few topics. Your Twitter isn't a personal vanity mirror for you to see how many people find you funny, cute or insightful, though it may seem that way sometimes. I'm not saying that followers aren't important. To get a message out and to make sure that people on Twitter hear it, you need followers. But followers are gained through saying things that resonate with other people, not desperate pleas for attention or using a #teamfollowback hashtag every 20 minutes. Trust me, no one on #teamfollowback cares what you have to say anyway. You might as well save yourself the tweet...

5. If you're a musician, designer, DJ, or creator of any type of media, don't tweet people with your work unsolicited. Plain as that. And that goes for your fans, too. Don't hit me and 30 other bloggers and 1000 other people you follow with a link to your mixtape, especially if you have no relationship with these folks other than being on Twitter. Not only does it look like you're desperate, but it makes your work look weaker because you have to push it so hard. Good work stands out regardless of how you find it. There's no need to flood my timeline with singles and videos and promo that myself and 95% of the people you send it to won't listen to. You'd be better off just working on your music, designing, DJing than hitting people on Twitter. Chances are, half the people who said they listened, didn't anyway. Also, doing that defeats the purpose of social networking. The key word there is 'networking'. Which chapter of the 'Idiot's Guide to Social Networking' includes pushing your product in people's faces and hoping for a response? I thought so. Build relationships on Twitter, not contact lists...

6. Learn the Twitter protocol, as in @-ing someone, re-tweeting and DMing. Yeah, this is nitpicky. Yet, how many times has a tweet been completely indecipherable because there are 5 different users in it, each re-tweeting with a different format? You might as well not even re-tweet, if the next person who sees it wonders if you and your homeboys have Twitter-dyslexia. I know I'm not the only one who's genuinely irked by seeing sloppy mentions and re-tweets. That goes for @-ing people, too. If the dialogue takes up 4 or more tweets, and is more than public in nature, just DM the person. Or better yet, e-mail, text, IM, Wave, Facebook, or even call the person. Twitter is for short messages and terse conversation, not full-on catching up.

7. I said this in the last post to you, Tweeps, but this is really irking me. People, 1f YuH tYp3 LyK3 DiSz, 1 WiLl uNf0110wH YuH... It's as simple as that. There's nothing cute or cool about misspelling words on purpose. Some terminology needs to be either abbreviated or adjusted for spatial reasons, and other terminology just doesn't lend itself to typing. Making exceptions for those is cool. However, turning your tweet into a mashup of Matrix code, hood ratchetness, and a Rosetta Stone lesson is about as cool as putting rims on a minivan. Not only do you look stupid, everyone riding in that van (retweeting; if anyone does it) looks retarded too. People wonder why literature and writing are going down the shitter. Just one look at Twitter, and we know why. Just because it's the internets, does not mean grammar, spelling, diction, and punctuation go out the window...

8. One of the best parts when I began was the trending topics. At any given point in the day there was a topic or hashtag worth tweeting about. The topics ranged from anything to sports, everyday life, music, or what have you. Now all of the topics are relationship ones, usually bashing the opposite sex. It's either that, or rehashed versions of older topics. It's not that I have a problem with new tweeps getting their try at the #TT's. It's that most of the heads 'going in' on these topics have been going in on them for months now. Give it a rest. We know you don't like hoes. We know you love sex. We know you're pro-Obama on everything and #cantstand a horde of things. Doesn't mean we have to hear about it every day, with a different hashtag attached to it...

9. Point blank, most celebrities have Twitter for one reason, and one reason alone: promotion. If you can't help them with that, aren't one of their personal friends, or don't have anything constructive to say to them, please stop tweeting them as if you were such. These people wouldn't recognize you in a police lineup or walking down the street. What makes you think that they care about your tweets more than the next user? Yeah, that's negative. Yeah, it's sad. But it's true. As a matter of fact, if you keep hitting them up and they don't respon, what does that say about you? Maybe you should focus on having something of worth to tweet about rather than sucking at the kneecaps of Ashton Kutcher and Diddy...

There you have it, tweeps. Another year, and another list of things that will get you unfollowed. Don't take some of these grievances personally, because we're all guilty of them at some point. It's just that some tweeps take them overboard, while others are only momentarily guilty. Take heed, so you don't get labeled 'that guy' on Twitter...

The Internet World Map

You ever wonder where everyone's internet allegiances lie? By that, I mean the random social networks and websites that everyone frequents. Well, here it is people. The Internet World Map. On this map, there lies every major social network and website, complete with a bunch of different municipalities, bodies of water and populations of each. This is so funny because it makes the internet look like an imperialist world, which it is. Companies vie for bragging rights and revenue as they try to increase theit populations and conquer their nearby rivals. Notice, that Google has an outpost almost everywhere in the internet world. That's not a coincidence... Nor is the massive amount of land they have compared to the rest of the internet. If I had to put money on who is winning the Internet World War, Google would be my guess, though Facebook might put up a pretty good fight. Whatever the case, check out the Internet World Map, and see where you would reside if websites were countries...