Dear Bruce Golding

Throwing up the peace sign and defending it are two completely different things...

via CNN:

Jamaican authorities declared a state of emergency in Kingston after gang members supportive of an alleged drug lord wanted by the United States attacked police stations and blockaded a large swath of the city. Two police stations were evacuated after being hit with Molotov cocktails, while the status of a third was unclear.

Gang members blocked off a miles-long area of Jamaica's capital city -- mostly in West Kingston -- using vehicles, sandbags, barbed wire and anything else they could find. The standoff revolves around attempts by the United States to extradite suspected drug kingpin Christopher "Dudus" Coke. Last year he was charged with conspiracy to distribute marijuana and cocaine and with conspiracy to illegally traffic in firearms in U.S. federal court.

On Friday, Jamaican Prime Minister Bruce Golding said citizens should "allow the courts to deal with the extradition matter," the state-run Jamaica Information service reported.

In a statement issued Sunday afternoon, Golding announced an emergency meeting of his cabinet in response to the violence and blockades, the Jamaica Information Service said.

Bruce, Bruce, Bruce... You see what happens when you want to have your cake and eat it too? Last year, the United States ordered the extradition of Christopher 'Dudus' Coke on charges of drug and ammunitions trafficking. You, most likely out of pride, or the fact that you have (or had; we never know nowadays) your hands in Dudus' pocket, denied the request. You said that the information that the US used to charge Dudus was obtained in violation of Jamaican law. Now, I'm not the end-all, be-all authority on the law in JA, but it is a known fact that politicians and criminals eat from the same plate. Corrupt officials have been using gunmen to protect their political interests for decades now, and it's never been a secret. Bruce, the last time I checked, political violence that's mandated by the politicians themselves was illegal. By that virtue, Bruce, you should be the LAST person calling out any entity for illegal operations. In fact, that Dudus is a prime supporter of the JLP, your party, makes me less sorry for your state of affairs.

A corrupt government breeds crime. Point blank. When the United States asked for Dudus' extradition last year, you spit in their face, caring more about your own political standing moreso than the safety of the island. Now that you can't control the gunman, his supporters who firebombed police stations, or his gang, the Shower Posse (because they 'shower' you with bullets), you want to ask outside sources to help you get Dudus out of the country. Newsflash, Bruce: they already tried that!! No matter what law firm you hire to negotiate with the US, nothing will erase that Dudus should have been on trial in the US now. It's a damn shame that you only care to act when the cards aren't in your favor. Bruce, the status of a criminal should never be a matter of convenience for you, the government or any political party. Sure, you offered to step down as the Prime Minister, but we all know that was more lip service than anything. You would rather say the right thing at the wrong time than do what's right, and what's been the right thing for a long time. No, that's not to say that your administration won't be able to make a change for Jamaica. However, the state of emergency in Kingston says a lot about where the country is heading and how well it's being governed right now. That said, between the JLP and PNP, it doesn't matter who's in charge if everyone is corrupt. Bruce, get your country under control and stop letting criminals wield more power than the government...

PS: #shoutout to the Minister of Tourism for getting mad at a Drake video's portrayal of Jamaica. You can't be mad at what's essentially true...

Dear Google

Maybe I've just read 1984 a few too many times, but this just seems eerie...

It was only a matter of time. I always thought that sooner or later a company would begin laying the foundation down for them becoming Big Brother. Google, you have taken that first step. You introduced Google TV today, which is a pretty simple idea: add internet functionality to TV's. We could get our favorite videos and shows online instead of through cable, and pretty much have some semblance of a computer at our televisions. It's actually a very innovative idea, and might damn well revolutionize media as we know it. Yet somehow, it might do some damage. Google, your new product isn't all it's cracked up to be, and for 2 reasons:



First of all, America has an obesity problem already. Every day more and more people are stuffing themselves full of extra-fatty, extra-salty, extra-sugary food. To put it short, obesity is an epidemic. One of the causes is inactivity. A good chunk of people sit on their asses all day, get up for bathroom breaks and sit right back down, until they have to go home and sit right back down again. Why would you give an already fat, television-obsessed nation another reason not to get off their couch? That's like providing heroin-users with free needles. You're doing a lot of harm for some good. Yes it's cool that we can access the internet on our TV's now, but you guys know that some people will take it to the extreme. The worst part is, by you guys knowing all of our viewing patterns, we basically are giving you guys free access to our minds...



No, that's not just me being a conspiracy theorist; it's me showing what happens when one company has this much reign. Think about it. Reason 2: We use everything Google nowadays - phones, internet content, and now TV? It's only a matter of time before there's Google Food, Google Transportation and All Google Everything. People will begin investing their livelihoods into you, Google. You'll become the 'Party' while everyone is glued to their telescreens Google TV. You'll be able to monitor and maybe alter what everyone is seeing until it fits the Google Image. Maybe I'm getting ahead of myself, but you guys have always been a company that looked forward. You can't honestly say that you don't see any of this on the horizon, in any capacity. You are leading the digital revolution. Let's just hope the revolution takes us in the right direction...

Dear Michael Eric Dyson

It's been a while since I've seen a debate both this funny and this indicative of the shift in the eyes of the man from outright 'I hate niggers, spics and Japs' racism, to 'we have to keep these people uninformed so they don't know their history' racism. Professor Dyson, you were up at odds against 'the Man' incarnate. From the moment this discussion on Arizona's decision to ban ethnic studies started, it was obvious that you were up against not just the Arizona school superintendent, but a mindset that seeks to keep children in line with the ideal image of America: the land of opportunity and dreams. Michael, you and I both know that the US of A is not as rosy and dreamy as Arizona would like us to believe. You and I both know of the struggle that all ethnic groups have trudged through for the past two centuries in this country. We know the ills of not knowing your history, not knowing the true legacy of a country and what happens when racism takes the form of 'liberal', yet ignorant whites.

The superintendent used this policy of stopping racial separation (not segregation) in schools, as if teaching children different cultures would cause rifts. He tried to use the words of Martin Luther King, Jr. to justify that cockamamie idea, saying that people should be judged by the content of their character. Professor Dyson, you made the greatest point though: you can't twist words to make them fit your agenda, no matter who says them. You made him sweat. You made him repeat the same phrase about 6 times over the course of the interview, stumbling over his words and feeling like the idiot he truly is. It's even crazier because the guy made the use of Che Guevara's likeness into a bad thing, saying that kids were inciting anarchy and promoting communism. Professor Dyson, you were alive during the latter parts of the Red Scare. This type of rhetoric is eerily similar, though now, it's kids being admonished because they take an active interest in the way that the government is run.

Professor Dyson, you brought the superintendent's (note, I still haven't called that twit by his names) plans of running for office to the light, also indicative of a government that is content with the ignorant status quo as long as they stay in office. If this wasn't 'the Man's' coming out party, then I don't know what is. As a matter of fact, I hope that every American can see this video to understand how bass-ackwards we are trying to teach our children at the expense of history that is relevant. I'm tired of seeing history taught from the perspectives of the oppressors. All that does is enforce an underlying air of inferiority, no matter how much Arizona schools want to push that the opposite espouses inferiority. If America is at the brink of racial and cultural upheaval, Arizona is at the forefront, and for good reason. If we had more minds like you, Mr. Dyson, I'm sure that the struggle for understanding will end sooner rather than later...

Dear Steve Jobs

via The Wall Street Journal:

Apple Inc. launched a legal broadside against a key Google Inc. partner in the mobile-phone market, in a further sign of the escalating tensions between the two Silicon Valley companies.

Apple of Cupertino, Calif., alleged numerous patent violations in lawsuits against HTC Corp., the Taiwan-based manufacturer of smart phones, including high-profile models like Nexus One, that use Google's Android operating system. Apple's two complaints – filed in federal court in Delaware and the U.S. International Trade Commission – allege that HTC devices infringe a total of 20 Apple patents covering an array of cellphone technologies, including everything from power management functions to a method of unlocking a handset through a finger swipe on a touch-screen.

"We can sit by and watch competitors steal our patented inventions, or we can do something about it. We've decided to do something about it," Apple Chief Executive Steve Jobs said in a statement. "We think competition is healthy, but competitors should create their own original technology, not steal ours."

It's been a long time coming, Steve, but it's finally happened. Apple is now 'the Man'. There, I said it. Why is that, you ask, Steve? Well, take a gander at you in 1996. The quote is now synonymous with your pushing Apple to new heights as a force in the tech world. As simple and innocent as it seemed at the time, your use of that mantra is almost laughable in contrast to your legal proceedings today. Steve, you can't put a lid on innovation, and you know that. Regardless of whether HTC's interfaces or fingerswipes or whatever are reminiscent of the iPhone, there's no way you can claim that they 'stole' anything when you yourself are an advocate of theft. You're like a kid cheating on a test who gets mad when someone else is cheating off of him. Steve, realize that there are NO new ideas under the sun, just improvements and innovation around existing ones. Microsoft found that out the hard way when you and Apple took the world by storm with the iPod, and you're finding that out now...

Anyway, back to my original point about you guys becoming 'the Man.'Some of the delineations of being 'the Man' (for me, at least) are A) a previous stint as a leader in their field, B) a novel lack of originality, and C) an overzealous need to thwart competition, no matter how far-fetched the claims are. Hmmmmmmmm.... That sounds a hell of a lot like what you're doing now, Steve. Everyone loved Apple four years ago because they were on the cutting edge of design and technology (A). Now, you guys are struggling to come up with new ideas, with crap like the iPad coming out and no new stuff on the horizon for a WHILE (B). And today, you sealed the deal as 'the Man' by coming at HTC over technology that damn near every phone has or will have in the future. Steve, look at yourself. No really, look at yourself, because that's who you should be getting mad at. Instead of flinging dirt at the competition, you should be on your grizzy, coming up with technology that aren't just bigger versions of your older products...

The future is looking soooooo bright for Apple, Steve

Dear Anthem Blue Cross

via The Los Angeles Times:

Reporting from Sacramento — Executives from California health insurance giant Anthem Blue Cross, under fire for scheduled rate hikes of up to 39%, insisted Tuesday that their premiums were fair and legal, and they told lawmakers they expected that the increases would go forward. Appearing before the state Assembly's health committee, the officials said that they believed rate increases for individual health insurance policies, delayed until May 1 while being reviewed by the Department of Insurance, would survive scrutiny by regulators.

President Obama on Monday proposed an expansion of federal authority to regulate health insurance rate increases such as Anthem's as part of his national healthcare reform package. In Sacramento, Anthem's president, Leslie Margolin, told the committee that much of the public frustration over the rate hikes was misdirected and should be aimed at the nation's healthcare system.

"This debate and this inquiry cannot and should not be just about the insurance industry or the delivery system or regulators or legislators or customers or brokers," Margolin said.

Now, it's kind of hard to address a letter to an entire company, but I've done worse so here goes:

Take a look at the video... Take a good long look at it. Look at how happy that kid is that he didn't have a serious condition that you guys wouldn't pay for. I've kept my mouth shut about insurance and health care and the insurance companies for a while, simply because I'm not in a position to sit here and talk shit about a entity that I don't identify with. Now, however, I can talk all I want. Anthem, you guys are trifling. How dare you hike up your prices 39% for health care while we're still in a recession? I mean, seriously. As if the overwhelming financial collapse and the impending doom from global warming or natural disaster weren't enough, you guys decided it was cool to nickel and dime Californians some more. I don't get it. How can you guys be so hypocritical, as to claim the system is failing, yet continue to feed into it by charging insane rates for health care?

One thing I've always wondered about most service companies is how they can purport this ideal of caring employees and respect for the customer when you guys lie to everyone, including yourselves? Since when has raising prices been a method of helping people? Since when has an 'affordable plan' come at a 39% markup? The fact that you guys are even trying to fight it shows how screwed up the priorities of big health care are. Instead of reworking your system in an effort to work with our government for a change, you guys are making it worse. They say most good businessmen are bad people. But if your business is to help people, where do you draw the line between trying to make a profit and simply screwing people over?? I guess when you have enough 'Jacks' running around breaking bones, all you can see is money...

Dear Toyota

Good mileage? CHECK. Ugly cars? CHECK. Defects & recalls?? CHECK

I've never understood America's love affair with you, Toyota. Besides good fuel mileage, what do your buckets really have to offer? Most of your cars either look exactly the same, are really boring, or look way too much like cheap-ass Lexus'. In fact, I'd say most of your appeal has to do with how boring your designs are. Year after year after year, your cars don't change for the better, or at all, for that matter. I guess you could say your cars have better value since you don't change your designs; not seeing a snazzier version of one's car a year later is a good look. Even so, with all that going for you, and brand loyalty coming out of your ass, your cars are unsafe now??


Anyone remember these???

Good God, Toyota. Over the course of the past 3 years, you guys have been locked up in litigation for a number of defects in your car. Everything from faulty floormats, to gas pedals that stick and brakes that don't work have plagued your company as of late. I know for a fact though (okay not a fact; more, a premonition) that you guys have known about all these defects for a looooong time. It just makes more sense (financial, that is) to get tied up in litigation because of dishonesty than to actually fix the defects honestly. I'd love to be a dick conspiracy theorist and espouse you guys as another evil corporation, but its more hilarious to watch your negligence unfold into more legal trouble, Toyota. At the same time, your recalls are pretty dead on with the rest of the auto industry, so it's not really anything new. At least your head man tried to cover fess up. It's hilarious when the Man shits his pants and tries to tell us it's fertilizer...

Rudy Guliani has 9/11 Amnesia

You know there's something wrong with our government when the man leading a city during a prolific terrorist attack forgets the President that the attack happened under. Or maybe he's just trying to stick up for his party-mate. Rudy Guliani claimed that no terrorist attacks happened under the reign of George Dubya Bush, while one occurred under Obama (the one over X-Mas). Not only is that false, the supposed 'attack' under Obama really didn't even happen! Is it possible that George Bush's trademarked brand of idiocy has seeped through the party? I hope not, because we'll have filibusters galore this year, if that's the case...

Dear NYC Federal Reserve

Just because you deleted it, doesn't mean it disappeared...

via the New York Times:

Starting in November 2008, the Federal Reserve Bank of New York under Timothy Geithner began urging American International Group, the huge insurer that the government had bailed out, to limit disclosure on payments made to banks at the height of the financial crisis, e-mail messages obtained by DealBook show.

The e-mail exchange between the bailed-out insurance giant and its regulator portray a strange reversal of roles, with A.I.G. staff arguing for the disclosure of certain details on payments for credit-default swaps to major banks, only to be discouraged by officials at, or representing, the Federal Reserve.

In a draft of one regulatory filing, A.I.G. stated that it had paid banks — including Goldman Sachs Group, Merrill Lynch, Société Générale and Deutsche Bank — the full value of C.D.O.’s, or collateralized debt obligations, that they had bought from the company. In the response to that draft from the law firm Davis Polk and Wardwell, which represented the New York Fed, that crucial sentence was crossed out, and did not appear in the final version filed on Dec. 24, 2008.

This is what we're talking about when we say there's a lack of transparency in our government. Guys, the recession has been long and sad. While analysts are saying we'll be out before we know it, I've read enough econ books to know that whatever 'prosperity' they're talking about won't hit the common folk until a year or two after. That said, I thought it was a great move for Obama to start placing more strict regulation on the financial markets after the crash. But where will the lies end?? From dropping interest rates every week to bailing out big businesses while people were losing their homes, you, reserve have left the people out to dry. Now that we know how full of shit you are, it's funny that this story came out.

When people imagine big business and financial deception, they usually imagine a bunch of 'The Man'-looking white men in a fancy board room, making decisions and sending secretive e-mails. I had no clue that was REALLY the case. If you were to sit down and only skim through those e-mails, they would seem routine (I suppose that's the point). The language they used sounded like they weren't even dealing with money. I suppose that's what happens when you're rich and powerful. As long as the system is in order, it doesn't matter what happens to the little people. Fed, don't get it twisted. Withholding information is the same thing as lying, especially when the information would have made your actions that much more detrimental to the country. Now that AIG's been bailed out and STILL has nothing to show for it, it's just ironic that our economy still isn't bouncing back like you guys 'planned'...

1984 is Coming: Hi-Tech ID Cards

Yes, I know it's 2010, and the dystopian future that George Orwell imagined for 1984 never happend (or even came close). Even so, Orwell is probably laughing up a sun-scorching storm as we speak (blog). Samsung has created an ID card with an AMOLED display that looks normal until you bring it up close to an RFID card reader. In laymen's terms, that means they have a see-through LED screen that shows a picture when you put a device with a special light up to it. The picture that comes up is a high-resolution picture, that can not only zoom, but is better than your typical ID card photo (hope they get your good side). The technology itself is DOPE, but the application scares me a bit. I'm no conspiracy theorist, but it's awfully strange. It's like The Man is trying to find ways to pinpoint us even further, and putting it under the guise of cool technology. Better clean up that driving record...

Dear Airport Security

Yeah, this is another post from the holiday week, but this needs to be said. While traveling to Atlanta last week, I thought my hindrances would be minor since I was flying domestically. That wasn't the case. When coming through the metal detectors and overall TSA hype, both my mother and I had to toss bottles of lotion and cologne that were deemed 'too big' to carry on. Then when returning, we had a very feisty TSA agent try to disrespect my father, among other people traveling, with a snippy attitude and an unwarranted pat-down. But that's neither here nor there. What really irked me was the story above.

Airport security has always been a hassle. There is no debate that that hassle contributes to our security and safety in the air. However, at what cost does this come?? Are these methods of security really that effective? I've seen a young child frisked for having a bottle of 'suspicious fluids', a teenager yelled at for forgetting to take their shoes off in a timely fashion, and my father frisked for forgetting to remove his wallet (in fear that someone would steal it). Those are all minuscule happenings on the radar of airport security that get blown way out of proportion. Yet and still, some attempted Nigerian terrorist can enter a plane (and pass security) with a bomb strapped to him?? TSA, what's the deal? Such oversight is indicative of the failures of this system. If someone can thwart you guys that easily, I shudder to think what could have happened had the suspect been more efficient in his undertaking. I understand the heightened level of anxiety during high-travel times. I understand that everyone is privy to the whims of the TSA. Hell, I even understand that sometimes suspicion overrides common sense. But where do we draw the line between gross invasion and 'security'?

Something must be done to rectify the system of checks and balances that airport security goes through. There has to be an wide, yet thin line between the terrorists and the unseemly civilians that use the air for good purposes every day. The fact that Umar Farouk Abdul Mutallab was on America's radar, but was still allowed to fly as everyone else shows how faulty the system is. Whether it was gross oversight or simply naivete that allowed this incident, there is no doubt in my mind that we are still not safe, nor will we be for the foreseeable future. It's not a question of jostling or harassment, but of incompetence and ignorance. I'm glad that no incident took place, but can't help but give you guys the side-eye every time I fly now. For all our sakes, I hope whoever frisked my father and whoever let Mutallab on that plane are now in the same class, re-learning their modus operandi. Lord knows it might not be such a Merry Christmas next year if the same thing is allowed to happen again...

Dear Senate

The Republicans ironically are the most well-fed politicians.. I wonder why

via The Raw Story:

Landmark health care legislation backed by President Barack Obama passed its sternest Senate test in the pre-dawn hours early Monday, overcoming Republican delaying tactics on a 60-40 vote that all but assures its passage by Christmas.

"Let's make history," said Sen. Tom Harkin, D-Iowa, shortly before the bill's supporters demonstrated their command of the Senate floor in an extraordinary holiday season showdown.

The bill would extend coverage to more than 30 million Americans who now lack it, while banning insurance company practices such as denial of benefits on the basis of pre-existing medical conditions.

It's a sad day in the United States when the deciding bodies of our country can't even decide on an issue that's been plaguing us since the days of JFK. Senate, today amidst screams and whines and kicks from Republicans and flip-flopping legislators, you passed the ever-so-elusive health care bill. I can't say that the bill was passed through an overwhelming majority (it went through 60-40), I am happy that the bill passed.

That said, why did it take you guys so damn long to get this bill passed?? First of all, it always seemed like half of the Senate didn't even read the bill, much less understand what the bill was proposing. It's like the Patriot Act, but in reverse. What happened to the gung-ho, go-get-um attitude that made mining phone numbers and tapping cell phones okay in 2002?? What happened to the lackadaisical attitudes that allowed the Fed to cut interest rates and dig us into an even bigger recession?? It always seems like the government is ready to make moves when it LEAST helps the people. Now that we finally had a plan, half of you guys were dragging your feet more than O.J. going to his verdict hearing.

Second of all, why has it always taken 60 votes to get something through the Senate? According to the Constitution, there actually is no law that can end a filibuster (the conflict that was keeping the bill in limbo), which means that as long as less than 3/5 of the Senate votes for a bill, the bill cannot get passed. Why is that the norm?? In fact, why is this bill even in the hands of Congress in the first place?? For something affecting the people, shouldn't the vote be in the hands of the people?? I find it funny that so many Senators were against publicizing health care, when most of you guys have never not been able to afford health care!! That's like Paris Hilton telling an anorexic girl she should eat more. The hypocrisy in our government is rampant, and your failure to pass this bill in a timely manner is laughable.

Finally, if this is how you guys decide something as drastic as health care, what in God's name is going to happen when other issues (ooh, I don't know the financial situation or climate change) stand to be reformed?? Is it going to be the same standstill, and then overwhelming revision that comes?? I hope not. Our government, like our health care policies, are in need of drastic change. And if it takes 60 votes from a bunch of wishy-washy legislators to do that, then I truly have lost hope in our political system. Get it together, Senate. Lord knows it doesn't take a two-month long filibuster to recognize how inefficient you guys have been as of late...

Dear Donald Rumsfeld

via The Los Angeles Times:

John Kerry:
Eight years ago this month, Osama bin Laden walked out of the Tora Bora mountains in Afghanistan and disappeared into Pakistan. U.S. intelligence agencies have no real idea where he is today, but it is clear that the world's most wanted man and the terrorist organization he leads have reemerged as a powerful force behind the increasingly deadly insurgencies in Afghanistan and Pakistan.

Three senior Obama administration officials warned last week that Al Qaeda is more dangerous than at any time in the last 18 months. They gave the Senate Foreign Relations Committee a frightening bill of particulars: Al Qaeda is providing training and resources for militants attacking U.S. troops in Afghanistan, assisting suicide bombers in Pakistan and helping extremists plot new attacks on India. Secretary of State Hillary Rodham Clinton described Bin Laden's Al Qaeda as a "syndicate of terrorism." Underscoring the danger, she said the terrorists are seeking nuclear weapons.

If we had captured or killed Bin Laden, the world would look very different today. His death or imprisonment would not have eliminated the worldwide extremist threat, but our failure to finish the job represents a lost opportunity that altered the course of the conflict in Afghanistan and the future of international terrorism. It left the American people more vulnerable, and it inflamed the strife that now threatens to engulf Pakistan and Afghanistan.

Now that John Kerry has basically confirmed what we all knew for years, it's time to go in on you Mr. Rumsfeld. If there was one thing that you (or the rest of the Bush administration) were not conservative about, it's your rapid military deployment of military force to Afghanistan and Iraq. We were in that war before we even knew what we were looking for. That said, I have a question for you: When you had the chance, why didn't you NAB OSAMA?? I mean for God's sake, if you're looking for someone in the nether regions of the planet, where the wilderness is expansive, and you have that person within a 5 mile radius, why don't you just finish the job? Why do you let a man synonymous with ACTUAL terrorism (not the kind you guys were doing in the Middle East) just walk out of a cave and find his way into Pakistan? A move like that just makes me believe moreso that it really wasn't bin Laden you guys were looking for in the desert.

I love that conservatives still defend the war to this day. The Man will never admit that he is wrong, even when all signs are pointing right down that alley. It just shows how short-sightedness can waste 7 years of military action. The fact that President Obama has decided to re-deploy 10,000 troops to clean up something that could have been done 3 years ago is atrocious. Mr. Rumsfeld, you should learn the proverb that 'a bird in the hand is worth two in the bush'. Even if your aim in being in Afghanistan and Iraq was to find oil (which it was), at least accomplish the goal that you set out to. That way if and when you do ruin two countries, you can at least say you 'rid the world of terrorism'. Now that we've lost Osama, you don't suppose you guys have stumbled on any weapons of mass destruction (minus the ones we brought with us) we were looking for? I hope not. That'll give politicians like yourself more wherewithal to peddle your outdated ideologies on war and nation-building...

Microsoft Laughs at the iPhone in 2007

They say (can we point these 'they' people out one day?) he who laughs last, laughs best. It's painfully ironic that Steve Ballmer laughed at the iPhone in 2007. When the Man fools himself into thinking that he's smarter than he really is, the masses usually reap the benefits. In this case, mankind got the iPhone. That said, I wonder how hard Steve Jobs has been laughing for the past two years...

Dear Black Friday

No amount of savings should incite this...

It's really sad that I have to write a letter about an 'unofficial holiday', especially since the holiday is riddled in materialism and greed. Let's not even get into the fact that the term Black Friday is the day after Thanksgiving. You remember.. The day we were supposed to be THANKFUL for everything that we DO have. The irony there is priceless. But Black Friday, you really are like the crack pipe sitting outside of rehab, just waiting to lure us from our new (one day old) sense of thankfulness and appreciation.

You're pretty much a corporate creation, too. Since the Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade started in 1924, the day after Turkey Day has always been considered the official start to the Christmas (or Hanukkah or Kwanzaa or whatever) season. It's only in 1960, at the rise of advertising (watch Mad Men, people), that companies were trying to bring their sales up for the Holidays, and coined the term 'Black Friday'. They lowered prices, had special promotions and 'midnight doorbusters' to drive people into thinking that they were gaining something out of spending their money. And look what that turned into.

People getting trampled at Walmart?? Plummeting credit scores?? Increased traffic and accidents?? And the best part of all, big companies raking in the cash because heads are too jaded to see how silly it is. You see, the whole idea of Black Friday wouldn't really be that bad if the result wasn't so ridiculous. Why rush into Walmart at 5 AM to save $300 on a TV, when the TV is going to be cheaper 6 months later? Why buy that new blouse at 50% off, when after the 'festivities' you won't be able to fit it anymore? Black Friday, you destroy our wallets for instant gratification. You make people forget that they don't need 'things' to be happy. Like I said, it's unbelievably ironic that Black Friday is the day after Thanksgiving...

Dear Bishop Tobin

Church and state have never been so far apart, cynically, that is. Bishop, since when is one's political stance grounds to expel them from a rite handed down from God? I've never written a letter going up against a religious figure, but this needed to be done. It's no wonder the Catholic Church is the most made-fun of entity in the world. From ideologies more rooted in tradition than understanding, to a wide-reaching influence that serves for intellectual recession than progression, I've always thought the Catholic church had a bit too much power for it's own good. That's why this kind of issue only serves to make the Church look bad. Bishop Tobin, you seem to have this penchant for allowing your own political (aka spiritual) ideologies to cloud your judgment, especially when it comes to things that really aren't your business. To you, and all abortion opponents for that matter, why is it your business what a woman does to her body? Better yet, why should it be the government's job to say what a woman does to her body? Or even better than that, why is it your prerogative to judge Representative Patrick Kennedy's views on abortion?

First of all, it's not your job to judge anyone. Christianity's ultimate judge is God. You, Bishop Tobin are there solely to administer the word of God to others. Secondly, I realize that this is the inherent problem with America today. People are way too comfortable with allowing church (or state, for that matter) legislate their tastes. Whether it's a stance on marijuana, gay rights or abortion rights, someone is always trying to tell you what to do. Is this not the land of the free? Bishop Tobin, you should not be involved in the fate of any woman's womb but those interested in allowing you that liberty. Nor should you be meddling in political affairs. It's funny that you can concern yourself with politics only when it suits your own beliefs. I suppose that's the flaw of politics and religion, too...

Dear Morehouse

Hope you guys aren't looking for a college education...

via The Maroon Tiger:

The policy outlines 11 expectations pertaining to what students should not wear while on campus. Instead of requiring certain articles of clothing, as a typical dress code would, the policy details those articles of clothing deemed unacceptable for students. Some of the expectations discussed in the policy include to prohibit wearing “sagging” pants, women’s clothing and headwear. The policy will be distributed to students electronically through TigerNet and the school website. The policy will also be outlined in the student handbook and discussed in Crown Forums for students.

Okay, so I'm a little late on this one (blame my lack of computer), but it still hits home all the more. Let's get this straight, oh prestigious black college: sagging pants is wrong. The sight of a young man's undergarments based on the lowness of his pants, jeans or what have you, is one of those things that elicits the wrong type of attention. Not only is your behind more prone to drafts (and other forces; my imprisoned brethren can tell you that), you get boxed into a category that few people want to be in, and the ones that are in, don't care: HOOD. To the average non-black person, sagging pants are more or less a flag that say 'CROSS THE STREET'. I can understand your concern at such things, Morehouse.

HOWEVER, Morehouse, where do you guys get off telling your students what they can and can't wear? To me, this is the age old voice of the past negro, telling the present negro that he can't be who he wants. The old guard is essentially trying to dictate the substance and understanding of the new guard. Morehouse, and more specifically President Michael Franklin, what is the last hip-hop record you've listened to? When is the last time you've talked to one of your students (who doesn't have his lips firmly planted on your backside)? Hell, when was the last time you even knew what was relevant in the lives of your students? Not that I'm denouncing your plea to make the black youth of America more workforce-ready, but at what cost does this come? It's like you're the Man, trying to whitewash the students into this 1950's-esque vision of collegiate life, where everyone is in bed by 11 and no boys are allowed in the girls dorms after dark. Get with the 20th century. College kids may not dress the way that you think they should, but does that discredit them as students? Does the learning not get into their heads as easily if they have sagging pants? I don't get it. Stop trying to get the 'black' and gay' out of your students. Legislating tastes and preference is the government's job (oops), not the education system's. Maybe if you weren't looking at college boys' butts (double oops) all the time, you'd know that...

Dear Obama Critics

Oh you mad cuz I'm stylin on you??

It's been a year since that momentous Election Day that saw my Philadelphian brethren walk to City Hall in triumph over the election of Barack Obama. We're not going to mince words here by talking about how much I LOVE President Obama and his presidency so far. We're not even going to talk about why you guys are wrong anymore, because living in the past is soooooo Bush-era. We're just going to focus on the facts. And the fact of the matter is, in the past 9 months since Obama's election, our outlook as a country has gotten a lot brighter. What has Barack done thus far? Well, I'm glad you asked. Check it out:

- A week before he was sworn in, Obama stuffed his bank bailout down the throat of his own party — a $350 billion accomplishment.

- Two weeks later, he signed the Stimulus Bill.

- Two weeks after that, he announced America's withdrawal from Iraq.

- A week later, he tossed Bush's ban on stem-cell research.

- In June he got the Arab world back on our side with his speech in Egypt.

- That same June, Obama introduced Cash for Clunkers program, which has revitalized the auto industry after over 5 years of declines.

- And over the summer and the past two months, he's appointed Sonia Sotomayor, cut taxes by $228 billion, ended the war on medical marijuana, revived the credit markets and stopped the financial collapse.

ALL of that in just 8 months. And let's not forget the little public option bill that will revolutionize the health care industry in America. Seriously, if you can't see the mastery in Obama's performance up until this point, you must be blind or blindly conservative or liberal (Lord knows the man has enemies on both sides). Not to say that we are out of the tunnel in terms of financial ruin or social upheaval, but you have to admit, Obama's done a hell of a lot more in 8 months than George Bush has managed to fuck up in eight years. Obama may never quote the now infamous rap battle I ascribed to his likeness above, but he sure as hell embodies the quote right now, especially for all you critics that have salty looks on your faces now...

Dear Ford

Wall Street wouldn't know bad quality if it crashed THROUGH the stock market...

via The New York Times:

The Ford Motor Company posted a surprise third-quarter profit of $997 million on Monday and said that it had had its first profitable quarter in North America in more than four years. The carmaker also said that, at least temporarily, it had stopped rapidly depleting its cash reserves. It reported positive cash flow of $2.8 billion during the quarter, ending September with $23.8 billion. Through the first nine months of 2009, Ford, the only Detroit automaker to avoid bankruptcy this year, has had a profit of more than $1.8 billion. Still, it has lost about $1.3 billion when one-time items, like a major debt restructuring, are excluded.

Until now, its goal had been to break even or earn a full-year profit by 2011. On Monday the company said in a statement that it “now expects to be solidly profitable in 2011, excluding special items, with positive operating-related cash flow.” It did not indicate whether a fourth-quarter or full-year profit is expected this year, nor did it provide an outlook for 2010, citing continued economic uncertainty.

Now, I won't lie. I think American cars are atrocious, but in the realm of the gas guzzlers, you guys are the only automaker that I can stand. That said, Ford, where did this profit of $997 million just magically appear from? Something about it doesn't make sense. It's one thing to not be in the red anymore (Ford was in fact the only American automaker to stay out of it this year). But it's completely different to post a record sum for a quarter after having been a hair away from bankruptcy only months before. In all honesty, that's an impressive jump. It probably should be noted in some record books or business textbooks because it's dope that they were able to jump out of the hole so quickly. HOWEVER, as we know with 'the Man', his results might be mind-blowing, but his methods are maniacal. Only a fool would believe that Ford attained this new rung of profit by completely legal means, much less NOT through some outdated loophole or random law that allows them to skew their reports. Regardless of my inner ruminations, you guys had a bang-up quarter. I just wish I could believe it as readily as Wall Street did. I guess even the Man gets tricked by the Man at times...

Dear CDC

I know the type is a little small.. Here's the original (link)

via Bloomberg:

The fast-moving pandemic spread to 177 countries in four months, yet causes little more than a fever and a cough in the majority of cases. Flu activity is now widespread in 46 U.S., states in a second, fall wave, the CDC said on Oct. 23.

Visits to doctors for influenza-like illness are “increasing steeply and are now higher than what is seen at the peak of many regular flu seasons,” the agency in Atlanta said.

Using their so-called multiplier model, Reed and colleagues estimated that every reported case of pandemic H1N1 flu may represent 79 total cases, for a median estimate of 3 million symptomatic cases and 14,000 hospitalizations in the U.S.

I knew that this day was coming. In all honesty, I also knew I'd have a hearty laugh when it came. CDC, since you identified the H1N1 strain of influenza, you've had half of the free world rocking surgeon masks and bathing themselves in Purell. Not to say that cleanliness is a bad thing, but don't we have to look at the writing on the wall at some point? In 300 days, swine flu has killed 5,850 people. Compare that to the 50,182,850 deaths during that same period of time. That evens out to about 0.01%. Umm, something about that doesn't scream epidemic or pandemic, does it? I suppose your highly paid 'experts' forgot to inform the public about that, though.

This is the exact mode of thinking that led to the views of Arabs after September 11th. CDC, you've fed into the same sensationalism that causes unneeded panic. A somewhat alarming (obviously not the case for 9/11) event occurs and everyone just buys into whoever is providing the most info, no matter how skewed it is. Let's be honest guys. Most people are uninformed and easily-led. Why then, do you deem it necessary to incite fear and misinformation among them? Every time I think of how you guys are making waves for nothing, I picture the scene in Resident Evil: Apocalypse, where The Umbrella Corporation closes off Raccoon City to be nuked, with it's residents still there. Not to say that you guys are a military weapons company fronting as a medical corporation, but something about how you guys conveniently 'release' information and vaccines and health advice when nobody is looking is SHADY. Transparency is my number one caveat when dealing with 'the Man', and you guys have always looked like a brick wall since the emergence of AIDS. Swine flu might very well be passing over us, but I really hope you guys shore up your priorities. Lord knows swine flu will never compare in mortality to cardiovascular failure. Maybe you should treat it as such and stop trying to shock us into buying into your 'research'...

Dear Rush Limbaugh

I hate dedicating more than one letter a month to the same person, but this was just laugh-worthy. Rush, what in the hell were you thinking about when you decided to put your two-cents into the Rams? I know you're a 'red-blooded American' (blood is blue, by the way), but if that makes you think you have any sort of football knowledge, then you must have lost your cotton-picking mind. Was it even a surprise that your bid to be a partial owner got rejected or that you got dropped from the group trying to buy the Rams? That's like Don Imus trying to sign up to be a booster for Rutgers Womens Basketball. I'm not going to mince words, Rush. I despise you. If ever presented with you, a 2-by-4 and a locked room, best believe you would be coming out of that room a few teeth short for all of the racist malarkey you've peddled over your radio tenure. Now, ironically, you're seeing the ills of the free speech you so vehemently defend, Rush. Calling out Donovan McNabb as a bad QB because he runs (which is apparently synonymous with blackness??) doesn't really set you up to be the best NFL proprietor, when, let's say about 70% (and I'm being generous, here) is, in fact, black. I guess the Rams figured that out before you did, though. Let that be a lesson to you, Rush. Freedom of speech is a double-edged sword. Don't cut yourself...