Dear Parents

This is a letter that should have been written years ago, probably after Columbine, or some other happening involving children. If you were anywhere near Twitter or a TV yesterday, you heard the mind-blowing story of Falcon Henne. The little boy supposedly was trapped, airborne in an experimental balloon-esque craft after having released it himself. After a four hour chase, that saw the media get airborne coverage faster than the authorities, the balloon was brought down with Falcon not in the balloon, but in the attic. Now, does something about that entire situation seem a bit, I don't know, dumb?

Now parents, at how many points could an embarrassing event have been prevented yesterday? If you said anything more than three, then you don't even have to read this letter. Man, they could have been watching the kid, they could have had their experimental craft protected in some way, or maybe just looked EVERYWHERE for the child. As a parent, there should be certain things that are a given when it comes to your child. Perhaps your kid is, let's say REALLY imaginative and inquisitive. Why in the world would you allow him to wander around a Colorado ranch by himself, with an experimental balloon ready to launch? Come on, you've got to have a little more sense than that.

But if you don't and just so happen to bring the child on a show without TALKING to him and REPRIMANDING him, what do you expect for this really imaginative and inquisitive child to do? It's parents like these that raise destructive children and wonder why the world is crumbling before us. I don't mean to say that Falcon is a troublemaker, because as much as a cop-out as it is, he is a kid. One thing about kids, is that if you don't steer them in the right direction, black or white, big or little, smart or dumb (sad, but true), they will get into trouble. Any person who's been a child knows that. As parents, your job is to prevent that deviation and help them understand why it's wrong. Falcon's parents, whatever hippie cult they were raised in, obviously aren't to adept at that. It's a damn shame America had to find out because of their 'experimental' balloon...

Dear JaMarcus Russell

Okay, I've held my tongue on this one for WAY TOO LONG. I've quietly (or loudly) supported the Oakland Raiders since circa 2000, when I saw Charles Woodson crack a 50-yard interception return for a TD. Now, Charles is long gone, and the Raiders are under a new regime than the one spearheaded by journeyman-turned-MVP, Rich Gannon. And if your play, JaMarcus, is any indication of the future of this new regime, I might not be able to find another year of Raiders fanhood in me. Let's just keep it funky and objective, JaMarcus. These are your stats in the first four weeks of the season:

51 Completions
121 Attempts
42.1% Completion Percentage
601 Yards
1 TD
4 INT's
47.4 QB Rating

That's right, J-Rocc!! You've sucked this year!! After the last two games of the 2008 season, I seriously thought that you and the Raiders had turned the corner of rebuilding that we'd been hugging since that 2003 Super Bowl (real Raiders fans know we were doomed since the Tuck Rule). Everything looked so promising. You came into camp not overweight (I guess that's kinda sad in retrospect), you finally had an offseason where you didn't switch coaches, and the front office added a few more weapons (Darrius Heyward-Bey, Chaz Shillens, etc.). AND this is your 3rd year as a starter!! Most QB's don't make it past that 2nd year without hearing ESPN call them a bust, and here you are getting a 3rd year? JaMarcus, come on.. How hard is it really to come to practice, do the film work required and make good reads? You have all of the physical tools, but have proven time an time again that your arm strength outweighs your IQ. I'm starting the 'Bench JaMarcus Russell' petition in Week 8, if you don't step your game up. I suppose that won't matter in the grand scheme of things, as long as you're getting that paycheck. God forbid you ever get injured, or forget that you're the QB, because both would do you more good than any amount of money Al Davis' disillusioned ass could ever do...

Only a true BUST could do this...

Neighborhood Newsletter (10/15)

Being homeless in the 21st century is sooooo easy...

The 10 Most Racist Toys Ever

Facebook might get an 'unlike' option, FINALLY!!

How the Moon produces its own water

Soda Tax Could Shake Up the Industry

Her Eyes Say Yes, But Her Pheromones Say No

Man murders sister and husband, still hates them "a little"

The pocket spy: Will your smartphone rat you out?

IE, Chrome, Firefox, Safari & Opera: Which Browser is Best?

Dear Rush Limbaugh

I hate dedicating more than one letter a month to the same person, but this was just laugh-worthy. Rush, what in the hell were you thinking about when you decided to put your two-cents into the Rams? I know you're a 'red-blooded American' (blood is blue, by the way), but if that makes you think you have any sort of football knowledge, then you must have lost your cotton-picking mind. Was it even a surprise that your bid to be a partial owner got rejected or that you got dropped from the group trying to buy the Rams? That's like Don Imus trying to sign up to be a booster for Rutgers Womens Basketball. I'm not going to mince words, Rush. I despise you. If ever presented with you, a 2-by-4 and a locked room, best believe you would be coming out of that room a few teeth short for all of the racist malarkey you've peddled over your radio tenure. Now, ironically, you're seeing the ills of the free speech you so vehemently defend, Rush. Calling out Donovan McNabb as a bad QB because he runs (which is apparently synonymous with blackness??) doesn't really set you up to be the best NFL proprietor, when, let's say about 70% (and I'm being generous, here) is, in fact, black. I guess the Rams figured that out before you did, though. Let that be a lesson to you, Rush. Freedom of speech is a double-edged sword. Don't cut yourself...

Reebok The Pump Retro

That's right kids.. It's the 20th Anniversary of the first Reebok Pump and that means Retro overlaod from our friends at Reebok. I know I wasn't cognizant of sneaker culture in 1989, being 1 year old and all, but I know for a fact I had a pair during my childhood. The nostalgia of pumping those babies up thinking I'd get an extra 2 feet on my vertical can only be matched by donning a pair of them today. Word to Dominique Wilkins. The Retro Reebok Pumps come out most likely in November to coincide with the November 24th release of the OG Pumps. Better start lining up now...

Stylophone Beatboxing

Don't mind how bad the editing was on the first video. My inner nerd is having a field day right now!!! I don't care how 'cool' you are. The fun in this is undebatable. We've all had those days where we had a beat in our head and couldn't get it out until we knocked our fingers on a desk or tapped our feet to the rhythm. This is the cure for those days. Not only is the Stylophone Beatbox portable, it has and a loop mode to build and layer loops using the included percussion, human beatbox, and bass samples. There's also record and scratch modes, plus an MP3 input feature. Fuck Guitar Hero and Rock Band. This is REAL music, even if it's simple looping. Check out the Stylophone Beatbox here...

Toy Story 3

The concept behind the third inception of Toy Story is dope on sooooooo many levels. First off, the idea of leaving one's toys behind as he goes on to bigger and (sadly) more important things, is something that we all can confer on as 80's and 90's babies. I distinctly remember the day I came home and found that all of my Transformers had been shipped down to Jamaica for my younger cousins and the feeling of not being able to transform Optimus Prime or Megatron again. Secondly, the movie (maybe this is just one of my weird interpretations) has a subtle metaphor about the state of the economy. When the toys find out that they're being thrown out, it's almost as if a once-booming company was downsizing. The employees don't know how to feel, just as the toys try, albeit unsuccessfully, to prepare for their 'downsizing'. Third of all, Toy Story 3 more or less is delving into a category that only its series has been able to pull off for Disney: sequels. I'm sure you all remember the Lion King 2, The Santa Clause trilogy, and 102 Dalmations (yeah, I've been trying to erase those for a minute too). Toy Story made it to three movies, and hopefully this one wows me just as much as the last two...

Joell Ortiz can BALL?!?!

Okay, remember the video above??? Yeah, I sure as hell do. Joe Budden and Joell Ortiz participated in a now infamous race, where Joell tried to get at least 50 headstarts in a losing effort to Budden. What's funny is how certain Joell was of his victory and his 'athletic ability'. I guess we have some semblance of proof today with the video below. Joell shows us that size really doesn't matter (well at least when it comes to passing a basketball) and puts on a decent show in the cage...

Dear Goldman Sachs

Couldn't be truer...

via The New York Times:

On Thursday, Mr. Blankfein and his colleagues will likely be subject to some of that anger when Goldman reports its third-quarter results — and discloses the latest tally of just how much its employees will probably take home for their work this year. By most analyst estimates, the annual bonus pool will swell to more than $23 billion. In its second quarter, Goldman disclosed it had put aside $11.4 billion for the first half of the year.

“The absolute size of compensation payouts will rise significantly,” Keith Horowitz, an analyst at Citigroup, wrote in a note to clients two weeks ago.

To put that $23 billion bonus pool number in perspective, it is the most Goldman Sachs has accumulated for bonuses in its history — twice as much as in 2008. And it is doing so while memories are still fresh that just a year ago taxpayers had to step in when Wall Street, and even Goldman, were facing a run on the bank.

If there is one thing that 'the Man' is good at doing, it's inflating his (its?) pockets at times when everyone else's pockets have been getting thinner. Goldman Sachs, you guys have proven to be, not the exception, but another example of the rule. In a time when people are using every last drop of toothpaste in the tube and have stopped buying SUV's, you guys still are a part of the gas-guzzling, toothpaste-wasting frame of mind that has pervaded our society for so long. That same frame has brought us to rock bottom economically and made the everyday Joes poorer everyday. Is that what the bailout did for you guys? Reinforce the same spending habits that put us in a recession in the first place? Is that what the $12 billion in government money was supposed to be for? Not to say that you guys don't have a right to use your money in the way that you want (hell, the government has been turning a blind eye to it for longer than we think), but shouldn't you guys be more concerned with getting out of the red and back into the black before you start patting yourselves on the back? That's like handing out victory cigars at the Titanic sinking: pointless and wasteful. Call me crazy, but somehow I think your executives would do fine without an extra billion in their wallets. But to tell you the truth, I had a feeling we'd be back to square one with one of the big financial firms. Your insidious spending is notorious on Wall Street. Hopefully your penchant for finding emergengy money is too, because I have a feeling you'll be needing another bailout by next year...

Stairs vs. Escalators

I know for a fact that 90% of you guys would rather take the escalator than the stairs. It's just human nature to rest and save energy rather than expend it. The result, though, is that we get fat and use up the earth's energy to power our rest (ironic, huh??). Volkswagen attempts to switch that up in this video by placing piano keys on a flight of stairs in a Stockholm train station. As a result, people used the stairs about 60% more. I can't front like I wouldn't be walking up and down those stairs trying to compose my own symphony, but is that really what we need to keep ourselves fit? Entertainment suitable for the Tellytubies? If so, you can find me at the gym, working hard to drop the weight that escalators keep on my person...

Wale - 'Inhibitions' & 'Contemplate'

Wale - Inhibitions (ft. Pharrell)

At this rate, Wale won't have an album to drop. Not to say that artists shouldn't leak from their albums, but at the same time, why reveal stuff that we should be gaining anticiaption? Especially when they're songs that should be headliners on the album. Regardless, both tracks are bangers. Pharrell and the Neptunes are looking like they're back with a DOPE beat and Rihanna provides 'decent' vocals on her track. What's a little concerning is that Wale is starting to revert back to his old flow. I'm not gonna up and say that he's lost it, but if Attention Deficit is anywhere near the same, then it's gonna be hard to get through, no matter how good the beats or features are. Check the new singles of Wale's album and the downloads...

Wale - Contemplate (ft. Rihanna)

Reign Cheque - G5 Clive

Reign Cheque - G5 Clive

I hear a lot of rap, and music in general. Of rap as a whole, over the past year D.C. rap has been constantly in my ear. Partly due to my boy Akzionz and partly due to my ever-expanding need for new music, the District has opened a whole new avenue in terms of sounds. Yeah, we all know about Wale, but the 51st state has plenty of talent in its borders. Enter G5 Clive. Born of Jamaican descent, and blessed with a great command of the English language (that's more than we can say about a lot of rappers), Clive is clearly bound for great things. Although sometimes Clive gets a complicated in his rhymes, his lyrics still are dope, and he goes off on a range of topics. The production on this work is great, too. I love that Clive kept a lot of different sounds on it and that he wasn't afraid to experiment with auto-tune (where's T-Pain at now?). All in all, this is a nice offering from an artist who's still growing. Check the back cover and tracklist...

Neighborhood Newsletter (10/13)

I'm glad to see literacy is alive and well for our ecological brethren...

10 Highest Paying Jobs in America

Woman arrested for 'poking' Facebook user

4 Conflicts Between Science and Religion

Should Students Be Paid to Do Well in School?

Schwarzenneger Signs New Anti-Paparazzi Law

Who is the dumbest athlete ever?

People 'anxious' when cut off from internet

Who’s Behind Pot Prohibition? The Answer Is Obvious

Nicki Minaj's 'Assets' - Real or Fake?

Okay, it's not that often that my posts delve into something as crude as the validity of a woman's breasts and butt. However, this is Nicki Minaj we're talking about. For the past few months, this woman has been making dudes salivate at the mere drop of her name. And let's not mention any of the infamous pictures detailing the girth of a certain orifice of hers. Regardless of her sexual organs, there's been an assload (pun intended) of debate as to whether Nicki got surgery to enhance herself or not. In fact, with the release of Chris Rock's 'Good Hair' black people have been paying a lot more attention to the difference between real and fake (why is it that we only talk about women? I'm sure there are some rappers out there who have gone under the knife for vanity purposes) My guess: If it wasn't there before, it probably started off in a chemical factory somewhere. Now, that's not to say that she definitely had surgery. That's just my inherent doubt. For all we know, that Queens water may have done something extraordinary; or maybe Nicki was just a late bloomer. Who knows? What is evident is that shorty was not packing as big a punch in the recent past. What do you guys (especially the ladies) think of Nicki Minaj and her 'assets'? Real or Fake? By the way, the music in that video does the subject at hand more justice than anything. Check the video...

Mike Tyson confronts his demons

I'm glad that Mike finally is having some degree of reconciliation with the demons in his life and can look back at it as a troubled portion of that life. It's crazy to see where this man has been over the past 20 years, and to know that he could have been the greatest. What's even crazier is that Oprah has allowed this many black men on her show in such a short period of a time. We MUST be in a recession...

Dear Nobel Prize Committee

Okay, let me say this: I'm proud of Barack Obama. His campaign, election and now this health-care initiative have been revolutionary, and for the first time since the turn of the millennium, America's future looks bright. That said, was this prize really necessary? I know Barack did his 'world tour' and more or less 'apologized' for the wrongdoings of the one who won't be named (he's probably TIGHT about the award), but what else has the man done that has promoted peace? I feel like you guys gave Obama the award for what he is going to do, not what he has done. How are you going to put an award on layaway? I'm sure you guys could have found some better candidates for the Nobel Prize for Peace. Somebody is sure to have contributed to the well-being of humanity and its peace at least as much as Obama. I consider myself informed, but to tell you the truth, I'm not sure who would have been another candidate. It's funny that in today's media, we don't hear about the heroes of humanity as much as we do the detractors. I guess that's why I'm not as surprised at your decision as I was. I hope Obama does fulfill your ideal of what a Nobel Prize winner is. It's just that you called the winner of the race before anyone knew who was in it...

Nike “Maharam” Terminator Pack

Nike looks set to release a new pack of Terminators in a collaboration with Maharam. Both of them feature a Native American pattern, which complements both the brown and purple colorways. They both have suede and colorful laces with Nike heel panels. Check both of the colorways...

Freestyle Friday (10/9)

What's up people?? Happy Friday!! I'm not gonna waste time. You know it's Freestyle Friday. Today we have Royce Da 5'9'" spitting some bars in the Peter Parker studio with the rest of the Slaughterhouse there too. In fact, f it. We're posting the Crooked-I freestyle in the Peter Parker studio (Joell's verse wasn't ready yet, and Budden was MIA). Check the videos...

EDIT: I just got the Joell Ortiz freestyle footage.. HE GOES IN!!!!

Neighborhood Newsletter (10/8)

U.S. Marijuana Growers Cutting Into Profits of Mexican Traffickers

Hit the mute! Why TV commercials are so loud

Blind mountaineer climbs highest peaks

Artificial skin can't fool the human touch

7 Drinking Games From Around the World

For Flu Season: The Top 5 Comfort Foods and Drinks

World-first Sustainable Racing Car Runs On Chocolate, To Take On Formula 3

Pot legalization gains momentum in California

Dear Tim and Sam

Watching my usual insane amount of ESPN, it was funny that I missed this coincidence (coinky-dink). I don't know either of you guys personally, so I'm just guessing that maybe either one of you guys is wishing you were in New York City on April 26th this year. Not that I find the decision to stay at college weird, but what did you guys really hope to gain from staying an extra year? Tebow, your passing skills weren't as good as they could have been, but the NFL would fix that ASAP. You've won two national championships, both with you going in. And Sam, you were in one of them too. You might have lost the game, but what more did you really have to gain from staying at school another year? Three years as starting QB and a Heisman trophy seem like the perfect resume for an NFL quarterback. Both of you are GOOD. And both of you would have been top picks in last year's draft. I guess staying one more year would have made you more attractive picks for next year's draft, but you know you would both beast in the NFL.

What's messed up is that both of you are injured now. Sam, you ended the 1st game with a sling and a cast. And I don't even want to relive that hit that had you leaving the stadium in an ambulance. Both of you know what it is though. Tebow, you're a senior, so we won't be seeing you in Gator blue anymore. But Sam, you might be better off entering that draft, because if you get another injury, ESPN is gonna start hyping you as 'injury-prone' in their draft analysis...

If that's not a lesson learned, then I'll be damned...