Dear James Harrison

Can't argue with a man who has two sets of guns, and regularly decapitates receivers on the field...

via Men's Journal:

“My rep is James Harrison, mean son of a bitch who loves hitting the hell out of people,” he says. “But up until last year, there was no word of me being dirty — till Roger Goodell, who’s a crook and a puppet, said I was the dirtiest player in the league. If that man was on fire and I had to piss to put him out, I wouldn’t do it. I hate him and will never respect him.”

In the midst of any sports lockout, especially one that has no end in sight, one can expect all hell to break loose on the front of relations between the players and the league. After a certain point, the niceties that riddled early negotiations are thrown out the window in lieu of loaded rhetoric and unbridled, unapologetic, speech. That's why I have no problem with your comments on NFL Commissioner Roger Goodell, Mr. Harrison. I added the 'Mr.' out of respect, especially after seeing you posing with huge non-muscular guns in Men's Journal. Either way, there seems to be no love lost between you and Goodell, and I, for one, LOVE it.

In today's media age where no comment can go without criticism, and no opinion is taken with a grain of salt, you have officially earned my stamp of 'Realest Dude in the Game,' James. First of all, it's no secret that you and Roger Goodell have never seen eye-to-eye. I won't sit here and say he's had it out for you, because Goodell seems to have a personal vendetta against any player who doesn't act as the NFL's personal footstool. At the same time, your comments reverberate with me because I'm tired of professional leagues trying to stomp out the (sometimes volatile) personalities that litter them. Whereas 20 years ago, a player coming out and putting a verbal bullseye on league officiating and management or speaking his mind about other players was somewhat normal, today no one wants to be 'that guy'. No one wants to have his endorsements docked and his pay suspended because he voiced his opinion. on the league.

... But wait a minute. We're in a lockout! Right now, Roger Goodell and the league can do diddly squat to you because you're technically not under the league's jurisdiction. For that reason, I say talk as much as you want, James. Don't let the prospects of ruffling the wrong feathers silence you! Speak up! Let some crazy scandal go! Air some teammates out! Seriously... If there's one thing that professional sports leagues are missing as of late, it's the trash-talking and general edginess that made them so interesting. The NBA regained it this year with the whole LeBron circus, but the NFL is just waiting for someone to come out and set flames to the entire establishment. Yes, there might be repercussion,s but imagine the precedent you'll set, with the players talking back, and reclaiming the league that wouldn't exist without them! Forget hurting feelings! You play for the Steelers, James; the guys who perfected the art of smash-mouth football. You've already enacted the smash on the field.. Why not let your mouth do some talking, to let Goodell, the owners and the league that there is no league without the players: and that is a fact that should never be punished, no matter how harshly it's put...

Dear Tucker Carlson

I always find it sad when political 'pundits' weigh in on certain issues, especially ones dealing with race, crime, the President and facets of culture unfamiliar to them. They speak so freely about such issues, usually with misinformation and hateful dialogue, but blast anyone with a slightly different opinion. They come out saying things, that if the people they were criticizing said, the entire world would grab pitchforks and ready the gallows. Your rhetoric is right up that alley, Tucker. I usually don't like commenting on anything you do, simply because it's as useless picking an intellectual argument with a 1st grader. Even if what you're saying makes little sense, you're still going to pull out the 'But you've got cooties/you're stupid/you're a booger-face' argument. That said, I can't let these comments pass.

Tucker, first of all, where in tarnation do you get off saying that Michael Vick should be executed for his dog-fighting incident? You said you're a Christian, and 'believe fervently in second chances', so what gives? Let the man live! You say he's some 'creepy, rich, overpaid football player'. The last time I checked, you weren't rubbing pennies together to heat your house, were you? Your friends (who usually are just as dumb as you) are right. My reservations and about the severity of his acts aside, Vick paid his debt to society and is constantly reminded of what he did every time he has to show his face at some PETA event to save face. Execution for dog-fighting? Come on, Tucker... You own dress shoes and belts, and eat meat. Do you feel any ill-sentiment about that? Maybe you should be executed for driving a car with leather seats, or wearing wool sweaters. You eat chewing gum or Jello? We should put you in the electric chair, then. Tucker, my point is that we use products from animals every day. That Vick got into it with dogs pales in comparison to the cruelty that livestock and other animals used for production face. We don't execute the guys who kill bears that attack people. Should we really still be vilifying Vick?

Second off, since when is it wrong for the President to have an opinion on things? For God's sakes, if our President can't have a stance on an issue, then who can? Barack is a football fan, so he's got to have something to say about the whole Michael Vick saga. Why are you allowed to have a section on your show completely dedicated to thrashing the name of anyone you disagree with, but President Obama can't laud the efforts of the Philadelphia Eagles to give someone a second chance? If you can spread hate, misinformation and right-wing agenda like they're popsicles, why can't the President spread love and admiration for a man who laid not a finger to another human being?

Thirdly, is it just me, or do political pundits like yourself catch erections from seeing a public figure (most of the time, black) lost in the criminal justice system? Seriously, Tucker. I guarantee if John Doe from Anytown, USA was caught doing the same thing, his punishment would be little, if any compared to Vick's. Americans have a nasty habit of holding celebrities and athletes to higher standards than themselves. We can cheat, lie, steal, fornicate, kill, and do every other crime under the sun, but if a public figure does it, the entire world turns against them. I'm sick of the American media making celebrities of people and then tearing them down when they inevitably make lapses of judgment. Why do a celebrity's illicit acts hold more gravity than that of every other man? Do we really have to invest that much into what someone in the public eye does? I know this is a media-based society, but sheesh! Tucker, it's clear you're the type of personality that thrives on sensationalism when dealing with anything you don't agree with. It's as if you're a controversy-sniffing dog (pun intended). Tell you one thing... I wouldn't mind if Vick had put your fear-mongering behind down. *hides from PETA backlash*

Dear NFL (re: Helmet-to-Helmet Hits)

There are points in history and humanity when events don't just happen, but are spoken into existence and fruition. They're called self-fulfilling prophecies, a phenomena where a prediction directly or indirectly causes itself to become true. We see it all the time in academia, when students say things like 'Man, I'm about to go fail this exam' or 'This teacher hates me'. Both of those usually result in, lo and behold, failing the exam or the teacher growing to dislike the student in question. Yet in sports, can the same thing be said? I didn't think so until this past week, NFL, where your constant queries and attention to helmet-to-helmet hits has, in my eyes caused the destructive tackles to increase tenfold.

In my decade and change of watching professional football, never have I seen more head-to-head hits than I have over the past year. I remember the day Rich Gannon of the Raiders received the concussion that would essentially end his career. I remember wondering why there was no penalty assessed. Helmet-to-helmet hits were illegal in 2002, but nothing was said. Later on, I realized that the contact was purely incidental, and that in the game, while running at game speed, there really is no way to keep from leading with the head. Football is football. And injuries are synonymous with football, whether or not we want to admit it. Ask guys like Trent Green, Troy Aikman, and other QB's whose careers were cut short because of hard hits. Though I'm sure they'd love to still be on the field, they probably wouldn't argue that the game is inherently flawed, like you are now, NFL.

NFL, trying to curb natural hitting, through whatever initiative or fine you come up with, and even making such a raucous over helmet hits is not going to help the cause. I'd be so inclined to say they'll continue. No rule, fine or speech from Commissioner Goodell isn't going to make a difference. Yes, you've got players like James Harrison who aim to make big hits, but trying to inhibit the game at its root, the hitting, is impossible. That's like trying to stop wild pitches in baseball, or hard checks in hockey or sprained ankles in basketball. There are certain parts of a sport that will never be eradicated without changing the fabric of the sport altogether.

Add to that, NFL, I see what you guys are trying to do. Over the past decade the amount of former players coming out against your medical aid for retired players has increased. Players in the 'golden era' of football (which was ironically played without helmets) are dropping like flies from the toll of the hits they've taken, either due to debilitating mental illness like depression or decreasing motor skill functioning. You'd rather try to hinder the game than help the players who built the league. That's not to say preventative measures are unimportant. It's more that trying to change the game isn't going to alter history, much less change the game in the desired way. From a fan's standpoint, I'd rather run the risk of seeing a vicious hit, than seeing players tip-toe around the field. And I'm more than sure the players don't want to have to think about something that's as natural as breathing for them. Then again, no one likes having a concussion either. I suppose the issue is multi-faceted and not for the weak of heart. But neither is football. Let that marinate...

Dear Kevin Kolb

A picture is worth a thousand words...

There's nothing like getting the rug pulled out from under you, only to have it stuffed under you again as you're trying to get up. In fact, no one should know that more than you Kevin. Despite having a solid, but average 2009 campaign, 'winning' the Philadelphia Eagles starting QB position in training camp, and then losing it to injury, Kevin, you're going to have another chance behind center, and that is sad. I never thought I'd be so quick to place a team on the downs as I am now, but your Eagles are looking pretty bleak.

Kevin this, sadly, is not your team. Michael Vick was destined to be the starter from the minute last season ended. That Andy Reid awarded it to you from the beginning of training camp was a questionable move, considering how unimpressive you looked last year. Now that Vick is injured for the foreseeable future, Consider this, Kevin and I will try to put this nicely: You've played in 2 games this season, and in both, your presence as the QB was shaky at best. Maybe you know the plays. Maybe you're friends with the O-Linemen or play jokes on LeSean from time to time. On the field, that doesn't matter.

When Vick was in the game, there was still and unpredictable nature to the way the offense ran, but it all seemed to mesh together and the Eagles were cruising. When you took the field, there was little if any rhythm or jump to the offense. For God's sake, you completed only 4 passes to DeSean Jackson and Jeremy Maclin, while dropping the ball off to the running backs the whole game. It was as if you didn't want to make a play and were trying not to score. To be honest, the Redskins did not have that game definitely won until late in the 4th quarter. You being in the game didn't elevate the team like Michael Vick's a real quarterback would. Kevin, it's not that you're a bad quarterback either. It's that Michael Vick is a really, really good one now. That is also not to say that the Eagles would have go undefeated the rest of the season with Vick at the helm. It simply shows that it's not that hard to come by a second chance. Just ask Michael Vick...

Dear Vince Young

When Awards of any kind come up, whether in sports, entertainment, academics or what have you, there's always debate before and after the award is given as to who really deserves it. That's always the argument: did Person A really deserve the award or should Person B want to start a riot? In sports, the debate can be vicious and ongoing (think MVP awards, etc.), maybe never-ending. In football, but especially college football, the debate usually is a done deal, depending on how well that player is doing and how well the team is doing.

Yet, in your case Vince, you clearly were cheated by the Heisman Trophy Trust. Reggie Bush may have had an outstanding season, but when it came to the big game, you were the one who delivered, squeezing out probably the most exciting college football game I've ever seen. The look of defeat on Bush's face was laughable, considering how much of the limelight was being cast on he and USC's vaunted 2005 team. When it came time for the trophy, you were second in the voting. At the time I was neutral on the situation, but even judging from the professional careers of you two, it seems like you were the better player all along. Reggie is just a piece of New Orleans' success. You almost brought the Titans into the playoffs singlehandedly last season, winning 8 of your last 10 games, after the Titans started 0-6 with you on the bench. The way you handled the questions (below) about the Heisman shot you up about 20 points in the public eye, too. You didn't come outright and say you deserved it nor trash Reggie Bush. What Bush did was outside of the rules, and he fairly was stripped of the award. Judging from your character, and play on the field, we all know who really should've had it...

Dear Matt Leinart

Kurt: Coulda been you, bro... Matt: *emo sigh*

via ESPN:

The Arizona Cardinals have released Matt Leinart, parting ways with the former Heisman Trophy winner who was supposed to be the team's franchise quarterback but couldn't escape the backup role.
The team made the announcement on Saturday, shortly before the Cardinals had to reach their 53-man roster limit.

"In fairness to Matt, I think that it would be a tough position for him to be in a backup role," coach Ken Whisenhunt said. "Maybe a fresh start for him is what would be a good thing, for all of us."

I always find it funny when athletes go from the college game to the professional game and lose their mojos. Situations like that beg the simple question: What happened? From off-the-field trouble, to coaching and administrative changes, there's usually a veritable reason for why a player loses his stride after making a move to the pros. In the NFL, there are so many variables to a player's success, that sometimes drafting the best player is a simple game of chance. At the same time, there still exists the idea of a can't-miss prospect; a player who's on-field laurels translate perfectly from the college to pro game. You, Matt Leinart were one of those prospects, and now that you've officially been relegated to a future journeyman, it's high time to out you on the wackness that has pervaded your career.

I'm not going to lie. I despise USC as a football program. I don't even think I have a good reason (guess that makes me a hater), aside from the fact that most, if not all of their players, including yourself are what we sports pundits like to call 'system players'. Be real, Matt. Do you honestly think you would've put up the numbers you did at a different school. When one checks out your track record, a lot of your success was because of the players around you. The college game, to me, is much more team-oriented than the pro game. Schools that constantly recruit full classes of blue-chips are always going to be at the top, because their entire squad gets an injection of new blood on both sides of the ball. Matt, you had one doozy of a team around you. Reggie Bush, Lendale White, Sam Baker, Darnell Bing, Brian Cushing, Fred Davis, Rey Maualuga, to name a few, were all on the team with you. Those dudes all went pro and are playing at a high level now. That said, how can anyone debate that your success wasn't (in part) due to your surroundings. For God's sakes, your coach Pete Carrol practically made it impossible for you to not light up the scoreboard! When you got to the NFL, I knew you were doomed, but tried to give you the benefit of the doubt.

Kurt Warner is one of the best QB's of the past decade. The man is a consummate professional and is easily one of the most knowledgeable players in recent history. That the Cardinals would draft you to back him up was literally, the PERFECT situation for you. Denny Green, and (the next head coach) Ken Whisenhunt laid out a red carpet for you. You had two top-5 receivers lining up at your sides, a competent defense on the other side of the ball, and a dedicated coaching staff. As far as I'm concerned, there was no reason for you to not excel once Kurt decided to call it quits after the 2009 season. In fact, Matt, you should've been starting from 2008, but just kept handing the position back over to Warner. Enter this season, and the atmosphere around the Cardinals was tense. Add to the fact that you were complaining about your role, and the world knew you were on thin ice in regards to your standing with the Cardinals. Tack on a lousy preseason (when I say lousy, I mean I probably could have done better) and it was curtains for you. No wonder they released you. All you can really hope for now is a good seat on the bench in Houston. Matt Schaub is actually nice, and unless he loses an arm in a freak accident, you won't be seeing the field anytime soon. What's interesting about football is how much influence the quarterback has on the game at large. When one looks at you play (professionally) you get the the sense that you're not even in control of yourself, much less the game. I suppose this stop with the Texans might yield a second chance, but how many chances should a Heisman winner really get?

Dear Vince Young

Dude, did you not learn anything from your former teammate Pacman 'It is tricking if there are a bunch of dudes grilling you' Jones? I mean, I thought after a year on the bench and an alleged suicide attempt, you would have begun to get the rest of your life in order, not be at strip clubs causing fights. One of the things I despise about most athletes is their utter disregard for precedent. Over the past 10 or so years, athletes in almost every major sport have been caught up in the wrong crowds at the wrong places at the wrong times. Most often, the wrong crowds are the hood-ass childhood friends that the athlete refuses to stop catering to, the wrong places are clubs (more often strip clubs), and the wrong times are late at night (then again, who goes to a strip club in the afternoon?). Vince, I'm sure you watch enough SportsCenter. What part about athletes getting into trouble do you not get? Every year, I think that players are getting a bit smarter about their decisions, and every year, I'm proven wrong by another ridiculously retarded happening.

Vince, what were you doing in the strip club back office in the first place? Unless you're pulling a Tony Soprano and checking up on business, you had no business in there. Second of all, you've got to be a real idiot to start a fight at a strip club. In addition to there being cameras EVERYWHERE, there is a host of men just as burly and corn-fed as you. Their job isn't to cater to a prima donna athlete who's making it rain in the club. Their job is to make sure that prima donna athlete doesn't cause Trillville & Lil' Jon-esque riot in the club. By entering that back room, you did nothing but make their job easier. In fact, you pretty much guaranteed that you would be incriminated. Any man tricking off in the club garners attention, and you're no different. I suppose coming off a miracle season, you'd think anything is possible. Not so, Vince. It stands to say that we still don't know all of the facts surrounding your brawl, but the video tells more truth than you can at this point. I guess the fact that the Titans already know about the incident is good. Even so, that won't erase a tarnished image, and it certainly won't erase Roger Goodell's foot aiming straight for your rear end (somehow I think you're going to end up worse off than Big Ben). Vince, don't get me wrong. I love watching you play. You're a winner on the field. But off the field (and in the Wonderlic tests), much is left to be desired...

Dear Al Davis

Only a true bust could do that...

via The Associated Press:

As JaMarcus Russell(notes) struggled through the worst statistical season for an NFL quarterback in more than a decade, Oakland Raiders owner Al Davis preached patience.

It appears that even Davis may have finally given up on his young quarterback.

With last weekend’s trade for Jason Campbell(notes), the Raiders seem ready to close the door on the exorbitantly expensive and unproductive Russell era in Oakland.

The only remaining question looks to be if they cut ties with the former No. 1 overall pick before this weekend’s mandatory minicamp begins, wait until training camp, drag it out until final roster cuts or even keep Russell on the roster for another season as a backup. But his days as a starter are likely over.

Al, you've always been one of my favorite owners for two things: your legacy and your catchphrase. Just Win Baby. In the last decade though, it seems like you've traded that in for either a dunce cap or a bet gone bad. The way the Raiders have played for the past 7 years (worst winning % of all time in the NFL) has been atrocious. It's been laughable. It's been ridiculous. And you were always the lynchpin making all the decisions. It was always you. From Jon Gruden to Norv Turner to Bill Callahan to Art Shell to Lane Kiffin and now to Tom Cable (that's 6 coaches in 7 years), you've never let anyone take the reins. And that's even with your health getting worse (knock on wood) and your team getting even worse than that. You watched raggedy games, penalties, blowouts, insubordination, and worst, players who don't care.

Al, let's cut to the chase. JaMarcus Russell is a bust. A tremendous bust. No he's the 2nd worst NFL draft bust of all time. Ryan Leaf was a jack*ass, on top of being a bad QB. Then again, J-Rock wasn't any angel himself. The man is constantly teetering to the wrong side of 300 lbs, held out his rookie season for a bigger contract, comes to training camp and practice late and doesn't know half of the plays. Russell overthrows people constantly. He can't even control the huddle and makes stupid videos like this:

Who know JaMarcus was a rapper too??


Al, please don't deny the fact that Russell wasn't the right QB for the Raiders. He brought the team down and probably cost them a few wins last season. The most shine he got was on the bench showing off his earrings. Do yourself, your legacy, the Raiders, and their fans a favor. Release JaMarcus Russell and send him to the waiver wire, where some hopeless team will pick him up, hoping they can develop him. You signed Jason Campbell and Kyle Boller to go along with Gradkowski. The draft was a success, and you have more young, talented players on defense. Let the fat man sing and move forward with your organization. If your team doesn't improve next year, then maybe JaMarcus really did come out on top...

Dear Roger Goodell

Nothing worse than a commissioner with double standards...

Roger, let's tell a story called 'A Tale of Two Quarterbacks'. As you may have guessed, the story is about two quarterbacks. No names will be used for the story. Here goes:

Once upon a time, there was a quarterback. He was the highest paid QB in the league, had a $100 million contract with his team, and was widely considered the most electrifying player in the league. Then one day, that all came to an end. The quarterback's friends royally f*cked up and made the QB a national headline because of a dog-fighting ring. Before he could even go to trial, or even be convicted of a crime, the quarterback was nationally berated by animal rights groups, bored stay-at-home mothers and even his own team's fans. The quarterback ended up losing the $100 million contract, all of his endorsements and then getting put in jail, on top of being suspended by the big, bad NFL commissioner.

Three years later, there lived another quarterback. He was another very popular QB in the league, having won two Super Bowls. The QB wasn't the sharpest tack in the box, and had some off the field problems with drinking, as well as almost killing himself by riding a motorcycle with no helmet or motorcycle license. Later on, the quarterback would be implicated in a sexual assault against a 20-year-old college student in Georgia (what he was doing in GA, I have no clue). That same big, bad commissioner would go on to say that he would like to 'sit down and talk' to the QB, not ruin his life like he did the first QB. In fact, the commissioner has yet to take any action against the quarterback. THE END.

Now, Roger, I hope the characters in the story sounded a bit familiar to you. Why is that, you ask? Because the big, bad commissioner is you, and the two quarterbacks are Michael Vick and Ben Roethlisberger. Roger, your failure to administer more than a pre-emptive warning (that's what it is at this point) to Roethlisberger is detestable. You took away the career of Michael Vick (yeah, he's back, but we don't know how long that'll last) over some dogs that he probably had no hand in killing, BEFORE he even was tried or convicted. You suspended him when there were simply allegations, but when Ben Roethlisberger allegedly rapes a chick, he gets a slap on the wrist. Since when is the life of a dog more important than the livelihood of a human, Roger? As a matter of fact, since when has preemptive suspension been a protocol of the NFL?? It doesn't make sense, nor is it remotely fair. No, I won't go as far as to say that the disciplinary actions of the NFL are 'racist,' but you have to admit, Pac-Man Jones got a pretty raw deal too. It seems like you had the bias of all biases while dealing with Big Ben, and I for one see right through it. It's not enough to uphold double standards, and call yourself a fair commissioner. Seriously, Roger, you can't have your stars and eat them too. No player should be above the law, and you shouldn't need a fairy tale to show you that...

What kind of role model is this???

Dear MLB

via MLB.com:

One day after admitting that he used and tested positive for cocaine one time last summer, Rangers manager Ron Washington found himself answering questions on Thursday about his use of marijuana and amphetamines during his playing career. The extra attention was Washington's doing. During numerous one-on-one interviews Wednesday, Washington admitted to various news outlets that he did indeed use both drugs on occasion as a player.

"When you're young, you make mistakes," Washington said. "I wish I could take back the mistakes I did, but I can't. You make mistakes.

"But the mistakes you make when I was young have nothing to do with what I'm facing today."

Washington admitted Wednesday that he used cocaine once last summer at some point before the All-Star break. Immediately thereafter, he was told that he was up for a random drug test. At that point, Washington told Major League Baseball, club president Nolan Ryan and general manager Jon Daniels what he had done and that he would likely test positive for cocaine. Washington went public with his apology on Wednesday, and in subsequent interviews admitted to using marijuana and amphetamines during his playing career. Washington signed with the Kansas City Royals out of high school in 1970 and had a 20-year professional playing career with seven different organizations that included all or parts of 10 seasons in the Majors.

What a better way to start out the MLB season than another drug scandal. MLB, for the last 10 years, you've been my least favorite sport. From a ridiculous lack of parity, to a yearly borefest of 162 games that don't matter until August, to an even more boring playoffs, Major League Baseball has been in decline. But the number one knock against you is probably the biggest story and bullshit scheme in all of sports: the performance enhancing and illegal drug scandals of the past 20+ years. This week, Ron Washington, the manager of the Texas Rangers tested positive for cocaine last July, and admitted to using cocaine, marijuana and amphetamines during his career. He is not getting punished at all (or so far) by you, the league, or by his franchise. Nor was his All-Star outfielder, Josh Hamilton who came out as a crack and cocaine addict some years ago. Now, MLB, these are two isolated incidents, but indicative of a much wider problem in your sport.

Look at the professional leagues in the other 3 major sports: NBA, NFL, NHL. All three of these leagues have a no-tolerance policy for drug use, while you guys have coke fiends running around your bases. While the other leagues have no-tolerance and immediate suspension or banning for illegal substances and performance-enhancing drugs, you guys have apologetic press conferences and paid 90-game suspensions. Where you guys have the most tainted history of cheating, deception and lying up to a FEDERAL level, the other leagues are relatively blemish-free. Now, that's not to say that the other professional sports leagues are spick-and-span with no problems, but most of the issues from the NFL, NBA and NHL are issues of character moreso than hardcore drug use. I know I'd much rather have a slightly deranged Ron Artest talking to my child fans than a coked up Ron Washington doing the same...

MLB, you've been called America's Pastime for as long as I can remember. Since when does America's Pastime sniff coke though?? Or better yet, since when does America's Pastime sniff coke and get away with it?? That doesn't happen in any other league. For example, Chris 'The Birdman' Andersen was suspended indefinitely from the NBA for 2 years for his drug use. While he is now clean and is back in the league, it serves to say that the response was appropriate. Illicit drug use is something, that if taken seriously, should be treated seriously. MLB, it doesn't suffice to come out with press releases and put asterisks next to records if the behavior still persists. You guys might as well be the Major League Burnouts with all of the needles, snorting, snuffing and huffing that's been recorded in the last 20 years. Lord knows Darryl Strawberry will never be the same, and neither should the legacy of a league that's riddled with drug addicts...

Dear NFL

How many NFL players can say they've been to (or even know) Stonehenge??

You would think that Myron Rolle, the NFL super-stud who also happens to be a Rhodes Scholar, would be the kind of man who makes us proud. You would expect that his status as being the man who represents the future of the black athlete in America would make the NFL happy to have him on the roster of one of their teams. Not only is Rolle brilliant, but he is also tough as nails and fast as lightning. The man has the whole package. But at least according to some NFL coaches, Rolle may not be committed enough to be a part of their league.

"We'll have to find out how committed he is," an NFC assistant coach said, repeating the sentiment of five other NFL officials who said the same thing.

Trainer Tom Shaw, who worked with Rolle over the past year, finds the criticism to be almost silly. Shaw has trained guys like Peyton Mannin and Deion Sanders, along with 118 former first-round draft picks and NFL MVPs. He argues that the critique against Rolle shows ignorance.

"I hear all the negative things that he has too many things going on in his life," Shaw (his trainer) said. "But if [the NFL] is saying that Myron Rolle is a bad example, that's a joke. ... Myron is what you want all these kids to be. Every one of these kids should want to be Myron Rolle. "The reason I say he's going to be a 10-year veteran is he's a guy who is going to out-work everybody. He's not just going to rest on his athletic ability."

"When coaches ask you what's important in your life, usually you can get away with saying God, then family, then football. But a lot of coaches out there want to hear football, then God, then family."

It's a sad day in society when we begin to value a person's time in the 40-yard-dash or their vertical more so than their overall intelligence and aptitude to do more for humanity than chase around a pigskin ball. Unfortunately, that is indeed the case in the NFL, where under the guise of 'making the team better', your scouts are trying to downplay intellect as lack of loyalty. Every year, prior to the NFL Draft, you administer the Wonderlic exam, which tests every potential draftee's intelligence, and their aptitude for problem solving. Most players end up around the late teens and twenties (a perfect score is 50), with safeties clocking in at 19. That said, should Myron Rolle have even had to take the exam? I mean, the guy is a freaking Rhodes Scholar!!! He's hobknobbing with the brightest minds in our age, and representing black male athletes in the way they ought to be; not dumb lumps of muscle, but intelligent human beings with interests outside of football.

By criticizing Rolle and his 'committment', NFL, you're coming outright in saying that you'd rather have a fast idiot on the field than a faster genius. While his interests outside of football may cause conflict with the rigors of being an NFL player, has Myron Rolle disappointed at all? For God's sake, the guy had a Rhodes interview in Alabama on the same day as a game in Maryland, aced the interview, then got back to Maryland for the second half of the game (which they won). Rolle's been holding up both sides of the title student-athlete since high school, so why would he start half-stepping now that he's being considered for the NFL and has the most prestigious fellowship in the world? NFL, it doesn't make sense to ostracize one of the best role models to step into the NFL conversation. Lord knows with that neuroscience degree he'll probably be putting a stop to all the concussion problems you've been having lately...

Redskins Special Teams runs a 'Special' Play

I have a lot of friends from DC, but even they can admit that this was, without a doubt, one of the DUMBEST playcalls EVER. The last time I saw the swinging gate run successfully, I was in 7th grade. What made Jim Zorn, or the Redskins special teams coach, think that this was a good idea? Your 1st string quarterback was getting eaten alive for the whole half. Your offensive line looked like a bunch of deer in front of an 18-wheeler. So, to remedy that, you guys decide to line your punter up behind center with half of the offensive line gone?? Not to mention, where was he passing that ball to?? He motioned the kicker out, and the play was most likely designed to go to him. Unfortunately, that throw ended up getting completed to the defense. I don't like to joke on teams unnecessarily, but you gotta admit, seeing that was hilarious...

Dear Married Athletes

RIP Chris Henry.. He died in vain..

Next year would be the best time to renew your vows, buy flowers and candy, and take your wife out for every conceivable holiday under the sun. I'm serious. This morning, we received word that Cincinnati Bengals wide receiver Chris Henry died from a serious accident after a domestic dispute with his fiancee. Apparently, the five year player out of West Virginia hopped into the back of his pickup truck as his fiance drove away. About a mile down the road, Henry was found with life-threatening injuries.

Now, I won't make any assumptions as to the nature of the incident, or how or why it came about, but as soon as I heard the word 'domestic', it rung the bell of all bells. Whether it's Tiger Woods' whole situation, the Gilbert Arenas and Shaq saga, or Terrell Suggs pouring bleach on his wife, athletes seem to always be at odds with their women (sad that all of them are black). Athletes, some of you get married or engaged under the wrong pretenses. Whether you just got drafted, won a championship, got a new contract or whatever, it always seems like you guys go for broke with love at the wrong times. A lot of the time, I think your elopement is more out of circumstance than it is love. Perhaps children are involved, or the joy of success in professional sports puts a rosy blinder over the truth: YOU MIGHT NOT BE AS IN LOVE AS YOU THINK.

Seriously, guys. How many more Media Takeout and TMZ stories have to be released before you get the picture? Relationships (including marriage) take more than love. They take commitment, sacrifice and understanding, much like the sports that you play. If you don't have any or all of those working in your relationship, chances are that person is not right for you (or maybe not at that time). Whatever the case, Chris Henry clearly died in vain. He ran out of his house looking to clear his relationship up or to settle a dispute and ended up losing his life. Not to say that every argument in your household will end in fatality, but you get what I'm saying.

Why do you think the most successful athletes are NOT married?? Or better yet, why does their success preclude their marriage?? It's because as an athlete, you're so used to putting all of your effort into your trade (or I hope so), that at the end of the day, there really might not be anything left to put into a relationship. Kids might make the relationship more tame, but they still can't sweep inherent problems with the relationship under the rug. Athletes, get your situation squared away before you commit to someone else, especially if your maturity off the field pales in comparison to that on the field. Having an unstable partner behind you is worse than not having anyone behind you. I'm sure Tiger's plight spells it out perfectly for you...

Dear New England Patriots

Drew Brees made you look BAD

Oh how the mighty have fallen. If it's not blown play calls by the coach, it's ineffective offense and HORRIBLE defense. Drew Brees had a perfect 158.3 passer rating. That's incredible. People don't hit that stat unless they're playing Madden on Rookie. Plus Tom Brady got picked off twice and looked as beatable as any QB in the league. Can you really be mad though? The Saints are a runaway train, and probably have a better chance at running the table than you did.

Though this is a big deal, it's not like you couldn't see this coming. Your defense has been going down faster than FOX News ratings, since everyone that won the Super Bowl is, essentially gone. Asante Samuel is an Eagle and Richard Seymour is a Raider. Corey Dillon, Ty Law, and Troy Brown retired, and Rodney Harrison is on NBC. Hell, there are so many players we could name. It's hilarious that everyone still associates you guys with winning when your last 'ship was in 2004. Let's not even bring up 2007. I know you probably have seen this catch more times than you'd have liked to. Regardless, I know you see that even David Tyree isn't on the Giants anymore. Goes to show you how quick football fortunes turn sour...

Dear Larry Johnson

Get back to football.. You're tweeting too much

via USA Today:

The Kansas City Chiefs have cut RB Larry Johnson, one day after his suspension ended.

The move comes two weeks after Johnson belittled coach Todd Haley in a series of Twitter posts and used gay slurs with reporters in the team's locker room.

A two-time Pro Bowler, Johnson was second on the team's all-time rushing list with 6,090 yards. A group of fans had petitioned the team last week not to allow Johnson to gain the 75 yards he needed break the team's rushing record.

They say that Twitter killed the publicist. I, for one, think the opposite. Twitter is every entertainment and sports publicists worst nightmare. It allows fans, peers and of course the critics to peer into the livelihood and 'inner thoughts' of the people, who up until now, only had voices during press conferences, interviews and award shows. I suppose no one knows that better than you now, Larry. After being the linchpin of the Kansas City Chiefs offense for 5 seasons (only 2 were good fantasy-wise; My team suffered), you've pretty much fallen out of favor, especially with Todd Hailey at the helm of the offense. Now, instead of talking to the coach, or finding new ways to help the team, or just going along with it and praying everything works out, you decided to tweet about it. Big mistake. As a celebrity (I guess we can call you that), people WAIT for you to tweet something controversial. You should have known as soon as you pressed send, that your ass was gonna have a fire under it hotter than the Chiefs jerseys.

Yeah, I know it's your personal Twitter, and it's really supposed to be for you, and people took what you said 'out of context'. I get it. In fact, I think the NFL or any sports league for that matter should have its hand in your tweets or your life OFF the field. As long as what you're doing doesn't affect how you play (I guess you don't qualify because you've SUCKED for the past 3 years), the league shouldn't be able to reprimand you. However, as is usually the case with what should be, that's not the way it goes. Those gay groups that were protesting outside of the Chiefs practice facility had more power than whatever tweets you sent (think Michael Vick and PETA). Had you just said something about your coach and left the word 'fag' out of your tweets, you'd probably still have a job today. In this day and age of information and technology mixing with people's easily-offended attitudes, you can't afford a slip, or a tweet that belies your utter stupidity and supposed homophobia. Then again, you're jobless now. You can tweet all you want; on and off the unemployment line...

Dear JaMarcus Russell

Okay, I've held my tongue on this one for WAY TOO LONG. I've quietly (or loudly) supported the Oakland Raiders since circa 2000, when I saw Charles Woodson crack a 50-yard interception return for a TD. Now, Charles is long gone, and the Raiders are under a new regime than the one spearheaded by journeyman-turned-MVP, Rich Gannon. And if your play, JaMarcus, is any indication of the future of this new regime, I might not be able to find another year of Raiders fanhood in me. Let's just keep it funky and objective, JaMarcus. These are your stats in the first four weeks of the season:

51 Completions
121 Attempts
42.1% Completion Percentage
601 Yards
1 TD
4 INT's
47.4 QB Rating

That's right, J-Rocc!! You've sucked this year!! After the last two games of the 2008 season, I seriously thought that you and the Raiders had turned the corner of rebuilding that we'd been hugging since that 2003 Super Bowl (real Raiders fans know we were doomed since the Tuck Rule). Everything looked so promising. You came into camp not overweight (I guess that's kinda sad in retrospect), you finally had an offseason where you didn't switch coaches, and the front office added a few more weapons (Darrius Heyward-Bey, Chaz Shillens, etc.). AND this is your 3rd year as a starter!! Most QB's don't make it past that 2nd year without hearing ESPN call them a bust, and here you are getting a 3rd year? JaMarcus, come on.. How hard is it really to come to practice, do the film work required and make good reads? You have all of the physical tools, but have proven time an time again that your arm strength outweighs your IQ. I'm starting the 'Bench JaMarcus Russell' petition in Week 8, if you don't step your game up. I suppose that won't matter in the grand scheme of things, as long as you're getting that paycheck. God forbid you ever get injured, or forget that you're the QB, because both would do you more good than any amount of money Al Davis' disillusioned ass could ever do...

Only a true BUST could do this...

Dear Rush Limbaugh

I hate dedicating more than one letter a month to the same person, but this was just laugh-worthy. Rush, what in the hell were you thinking about when you decided to put your two-cents into the Rams? I know you're a 'red-blooded American' (blood is blue, by the way), but if that makes you think you have any sort of football knowledge, then you must have lost your cotton-picking mind. Was it even a surprise that your bid to be a partial owner got rejected or that you got dropped from the group trying to buy the Rams? That's like Don Imus trying to sign up to be a booster for Rutgers Womens Basketball. I'm not going to mince words, Rush. I despise you. If ever presented with you, a 2-by-4 and a locked room, best believe you would be coming out of that room a few teeth short for all of the racist malarkey you've peddled over your radio tenure. Now, ironically, you're seeing the ills of the free speech you so vehemently defend, Rush. Calling out Donovan McNabb as a bad QB because he runs (which is apparently synonymous with blackness??) doesn't really set you up to be the best NFL proprietor, when, let's say about 70% (and I'm being generous, here) is, in fact, black. I guess the Rams figured that out before you did, though. Let that be a lesson to you, Rush. Freedom of speech is a double-edged sword. Don't cut yourself...

Dear Plaxico "Cheddar" Burress

Man, I shoulda just stayed home and watched Law and Order like I said I was gonna...

via The New York Times:

About 10 a.m., Mr. Burress, dressed in a white long-sleeve T-shirt, blue jeans and black high-tops, was called to the front of the courtroom to officially receive a two-year prison sentence from Justice Michael H. Melkonian of State Supreme Court in Manhattan.

Boy oh boy.. 730 days, my dude. I hope you brought enough books or don't mind working out all day. To tell you the truth, it could have been a lot worse. If that gun had gone off in a different direction, you might be spending a little more time in the pen. Not to make fun of your predicament, but you have to see the irony and the humor in what happened here, Plax. In addition to shooting yourself in the club (we're not even gonna try and understand why you had a gun in the first place) you ended up losing your job as a Giant (funny how they've found a way to win without him so far) and now you're going to jail for two years, with no chance of parole because of New York's strict-ass gun control laws. The gun had been unlicensed for almost eight months at the time of the incident. So, in so many ways, this was just a case of utter stupidity mixed with bad judgment.

Like I said, I'm not here to joke on you, because prison is never a thing to take lightly, but if you saw this in a movie, wouldn't you be saying the same thing? I'm sure you have at least one friend who's seen 8-Mile, and alluded to Cheddar Bob at one point or another. But seriously, when are some of you athletes gonna learn? If you need a gun to run around town in the first place, chances are you probably shouldn't be out on the town anyway. So, while I loathe how badly this case has turned out for you, you can't say there haven't been a couple of precedents set before you even stepped into the club. We haven't seen or heard from the Pac-Man Jones we originally knew and loved, so who's to say that you'll be able to come back? I suppose it's too early to tell, but two years down the line, we'll have chalked this one up to DNS (Dumb Nigga Syndrome), and the world will keep turning. Keep your head up and your soap on a rope, Plaxico. We'll keep our #17 jerseys ready for your return, hopefully...