Dear Valentine's Day

All the Charlie Browns out there can relate...

There are soooooooo many things I could say about you V-Day. So many. I could call you a corporate creation, a devious idea devised by Hallmark and DeBeers to capitalize on our romantic insecurities. You could be the crutch that Hallmark relies on, since no one really buys greeting cards anymore. You could be an excuse for everyone to rush to their local Walgreens at 5:57 today to pick up various red-colored and heart-shaped wares that lose their value in 2 days. That's the most popular reason for hating you these days, so I'll go somewhere different to keep from beating dead Cupids horses with sticks. I could call you a day of exclusion and isolation for those unfortunate enough to not have a significant other, but that would be me being bitter and angry at my own lack of romance. It would certainly be easy, but probably the most depressing letter I've ever written. No one likes to be reminded of the fact that they're alone, so I'll steer clear of that one too. I could call you a lot of things, but instead I'm going to pose a hypothetical:

What do people born on February 14 do?

Simple, yet puzzling isn't it? Seriously though, V-Day. If a person's birthday just so happens to lie on February 14th, their personal day of conquest and admiration turns into a lovey-dovey heart-fest. If the person decides to go to dinner, they're privy to the oodles of couples playing tonsil hockey, whether its Applebee's or Mr. Chow. If the person goes to work or school, they're subject to everyone trying to infect them with the Red Fever. If the person turns on the television, they have to watch bad Valentine's Day episodes of every show, from the Seinfeld to Sesame Street. Hell, if they want to go to the movies, they have to be tortured by the sight of a movie, dedicated to your namesake and ideology: that love can conquer all. It's like there's a hex on today if you're single or don't feel love's oh-so-icky (taking it back to kindergarten) pull. V-Day, I don't buy it, nor will I be buying anything.

No, this isn't an 'I hate love' post, nor do I intend to take money love out of your pockets heart, by disparaging the lameness love that goes into your day. If you're meant to touch a couple, then do your thing V-Day. If someone happens to have a storybook ending on your day, then that's just peachy (the opposite happens so much more often than we like to admit). Just know that my Sunday, and my weekend will be dedicated not to you or any significant other. I will be bumping the hardest, hood-ded-est, ignorant of all hip-hop (Ready to Die is inevitably part of that playlist), writing some more of these blogs, and watching NBA All-Star Weekend, hoping that the Red Fever comes nowhere near these shores. Valentine's Day, ironically, instead of loving others more after you, I love myself all the more, as selfish as that sounds. Hopefully more people do the same instead of having insulin shock delivered in a heart-shaped box...

How can any sane, single person not want to murder the creators of this movie??

Neighborhood Newsletter (2/11)

Women's Natural Scent More Seductive Than Perfume

China Jails Man 13 Years For Running Porn Site

Superbowl Ads By The Numbers [Detailed Info Chart]

Mocking Palin, Obama spokesman writes grocery list on hand

CNN: Not Getting Hired? 10 Reasons Why

The Internet is Killing Your Attention Span

Man Builds Mustang Out Of Lamborghini

FBI Wants To Follow You Around The Internet

Dear Google

It's one things to adopt a new feature to add to another. It's a completely different thing to jack a concept completely and integrate it into your system. Google, you were always one of my favorite companies because you oozed innovation and bled creativity. Hell, I have Google EVERYTHING. This blog is through a subsidiary of Google. I can't stress how integral you guys have been to the growth of internet culture in the past decade. However, as of late it's become obvious that you have lost a step.

Google Wave was muddled and, to say the least, useless. I can't tell you any reason I would use it, nor do I know anyone who uses it. I suppose it was all hype that we all got on it and hounded each other for invites. Regardless, I can respect your attempt. Yet instead of trying to make Wave better or going back to the drawing board, you guys, in laymen's terms, swagger-jacked. Google Buzz is a Google-branded Twitter, with minor additions like pictures. Even so, what benefit do I gain from using Buzz? It's not like, you guys are bringing anything new to the table, or even (gasp) doing anything revolutionary. Google Buzz is a cheap imitation at best, and anyone with a Twitter knows it. It's even funnier that I can post a Buzz that can get posted to Twitter. At least you're trying. I guess losing China and their 1.4 billion hits is catching up. Too bad...

YC the Cynic - You're Welcome

YC the Cynic - You're Welcome

I always discover the best rappers when I least expect it. YC the Cynic, hailing from the Bronx (BX stand up!), is an unassuming early-20's rapper, with a Twitter. Why would anybody check him more than (insert rapper) from (insert crew/clique)? There are way too many rappers out right now, and you don't know who to waste your time with. I guess I really downloaded the album because the name 'cynic' stood out to me. Yes, YC's cynical. He also has the craziest vocabulary I've heard since Lupe. No, he's not the next Lupe. In fact he's far from that. YC is so straightforward on his tracks that he has to be a cynic. Tracks like 'Chris Brown's Latest Hit' show how little he cares about the idiocy plaguing mainstream society. His disdain for rap's direction as of late is shown in his verbal prowess and easy flow. The beats on the album, 'You're Welcome' are halfway decent. He used a few early 90's tracks like 'Rebirth of Slick' and rode them to perfection. YC reminds me of that era of Digable Planets, but with so much more potential. Hopefully 2010 is the 'Return of Slick'. D/l, tracklist, #dopetracks, and loosies after the jump...





#dopetracks:
Kick Back
The Return of Slick
The Honor Society
Chris Brown's Latest Hit
The Blogspot
Why-Cee-La

Loosies:
YC the Cynic – The Bad Seed f. Final Outlaw & D.Julien
YC the Cynic – The Return of Slick
The Honor Society

Dear Lil' Wayne (re: Jail Time)

Wisdom can take more forms than you think...

Okay Wayne, this was about to be the funniest, most cynical, most indirectly disparaging letter EVER, until last week when I watched your 'The Carter' documentary with AKZionz and Devin. The documentary gave me a much more clear perspective on your ways, your musical approach and your outlook on life. While I can't agree with the content of much of your lifestyle, the documentary put your unbelievable work ethic and general wisdom in plain view. I must say I'm impressed. That said, I still think it's hilarious that you're going to jail. In fact, I think it's hilarious that most of Young Money is saying things like 'this shit is wack' or 'how can they take his freedom.' It's not like you were caught with automatic guns and hefty amounts of mary jane... TWICE. Even in lieu of that I can't even be mad...

via MTV.com:

Video director David Rousseau said he and the Cash Money team might need to check the Guinness Book of World Records: He and his company Creativeseen may be the new record-holders for most music videos shot in 48 hours. Lil' Wayne was expected to begin serving his one-year sentence on a weapons-possession charge on Tuesday (February 9), and while that sentencing was postponed until March 2, the MC has spent recent weeks manically recording music and videos — and over the past weekend, he hit the latter with a vengeance.

Cash Money chiefs Ronald "Slim" Williams and his brother Brian (a.k.a. Baby, a.k.a. The Birdman) enlisted Rousseau to shoot nine videos for Lil' Wayne during Friday, Saturday and parts of Sunday. The director said he and his crew started setting up for the production around 9 a.m. Friday and the last camera stopped rolling at around 8 a.m. on Super Bowl Sunday.

Reading that was like seeing the school bully at the cathedral praying after school. Wayne, people can and always will hate you. They'll say your music is ignorant and degrading and silly and stupid. They'll say you're a terrible role model (he really isn't a role model in the first place) and that you going to jail is exactly what you deserve. But at the end of the day, those same people are most likely the ones buying your albums and writing about your music and watching your videos. Now that you filmed 9 in the span of a weekend, the haters (I hate using that word) will have their hands full, especially now that you're not going in until March 2nd. Few people truly grind, and even fewer respect it. I suppose when you're as engrossed in repetition as you are, you don't see that....

NBA x Mickey D's

I've never been one for mixing artery-clogging fast food with the peak of physical activity in basketball, but anytime good old Mickey D's hooks up with the NBA, I will be watching. LeBron has, for the last few years, been the face of the league, while Dwight Howard is another recognizable face in what I like to call 'The New School' of stars in the NBA. The same goes for Dwyane Wade. During this past Super Bowl, all three of the superstars were featured in new advertisements. Dwyane Wade was in a new commercial for his sneaker with Air Jordan, while LeBron & D-12 debuted their new McDonald's commercial. This ad is easily drawing comparisons to the Michael Jordan & Larry Bird commercial from the early 90's. Michael Jordan and Larry Bird had distinct personalities and visible chemistry in their commercial. LeBron & Dwight?? Not so much. Regardless, for every kid that pisses their pants upon seeing CGI dunks, this commercial should wet their whistle. Check out the old-school one, too...

Dear Auto-Tune

You were the hottest rehashed new trend in music, and in 2005, T-Pain made every dead funk artist roll over in his grave with your use. Auto-tune, most people have no clue how you work, or where you came from, or even what '808's & Heartbreaks' was, but by the end of the Super Bowl, you were dead. By the time the Budweiser Corporation cashes in from the above commercial, no hip-hop artist will step within 10 feet of you. Okay, maybe T-Pain will fiddle with you some more, but he more or less made himself the spokesperson for hip-hop autotune (sad that we can call it a genre now). Regardless, autotune isn't the first hip-hop fad that went mainstream and then went south. You'll probably end up like phat, kickin, bling-bling, maxin, BALLIN!!, and every other piece of hip-hop lore that got popular: in a VH1 special 5 years later.

To be honest, Jay-Z loaded the gun, but Bud Light shot it through your digitally-enhanced sound. 'Death of Autotune' didn't kill you, though it sure signaled the end was near. As soon as Corporate America saw that a star as big as Jay-Z saying your name in a song, it was on like Donkey Kong. Even if he used you in a song and kept it in hip-hop rotation, they would have jumped on you. Autotune, that commercial might have been the end, yet you gave us some of the most memorable songs of the decade (kinda???). Instead of signaling your death with silence (sorry, Jay), I think it's best to remember the tracks that made auto-tune a trend in the first place...

PS: Ron Browz's career should be in the obituary, too...

Neighborhood Newsletter (2/8)

When they reminisce over you, my God...

How Crack & Rap Stopped Activism In Youth

A Black President Before a Black ‘Bachelor’?

School secretary axed for speaking Spanish

Obama Invites GOP Leaders to Health Care Talk

2010 Super Bowl Ads

Google analyst: U.S. Internet needs to get faster

US Soldier Uses CIA Torture on 4-Yr Old Daughter For Not Knowing ABC's

Botox Inhibits Ability to Understand Anger & Sadness

How to Make it in America

HBO has a knack for airing shows that display the tiniest aspects of the most unheralded and least visited lifestyles. Whether its mob bosses in the Sopranos, vampires in True Blood, or a male prostitute on Hung, HBO shows always have a unique perspective. This bad boy should be no different. 'How to Make it in America' is another Mark Walhberg-produced show (new season of Entourage needs to hurry up) about two fashion designers struggling to make it in the cutthroat design world of New York City. It stars a Dear Whoever favorite, KiD CuDi, and should be a good watch for all of you streetwear afficianados out there. Check out the first episode below...

Dear Sarah Palin

I was not aware that taking interview tips from a high school debate team was the latest in cutting edge political strategy, Sarah. Hell, if I'd known that that's how you end up getting nominated for the Vice Presidency, I would have more notes on my body than Weezy F. Baby. But seriously, Sarah, everything has kind of taken a tragic, yet hilarious spiral since you and Old Man McCain lost to Barry and Joe. It's a foregone conclusion that you're trying to stay in the spotlight and maybe squirm your way into the 2012 election. That said, you haven't really gotten much good press this year. From your daughter's illegitimate child being born, to you joining the evil empire of FOX News, to your war against the word 'retard', to your own property tax woes, nothing you do right now is making me think you even have a shot of knocking Barack off in 2012. After seeing him rally the country's legislature at the State of the Union, and then verbally destroy the opposition, seeing you look at the notes on your hand is terrible. It's like watching Michael Jordan dunk on 5 people at once, then seeing a worse player airball on a layup. Sarah, you'd better get your act straight in the next three years because that was sad. Maybe you should invest in a telepromtper, or even MEMORIZE what you want to say...

Air Jordan 'Nightmares Never Sleep' Commercial

So what if the sneaker itself looks sub-par? So what D-Wade is nowhere near close to getting back to the Finals with that sorry team of his? When Jordan Brand is backing you, it's pretty much a given that not everything is as bad as it seems. Dwyane Wade's signature sneaker will probably be the Air Jordan 2010 (there seems to be a huge hole in the middle of it) and JB has started off marketing their new cash cow the right way. This commercial is ILL. Check out the 'monster' that the Artist Formerly Known as Flash has become...

NBA Midseason Awards

Only certain players can create their own statistical categories...

Okay people, NBA All-Star Weekend is less than a week away, meaning most teams have played about 50 games. Some squads have pulled away from the pack, while others have fallen to ridiculous (even record) lows. Right about now, the players who have impacted their teams and the league the most are starting to shine and it's coming to crunch time with 30 games left. Check the midseason awards and keep it locked for more NBA coverage this week as we get to All-Star Weekend...

MVP

LeBron James



This was a big surprise (sarcasm). LeBron has been cruising this season, and has the Cavs at the top of the East. He's still flirting with triple-doubles and shooting over 50% from the field. King James is the best in the league this year, and everyone knows it. Unless the Cavs have a tremendous collapse, or Kobe wins the 'ship with a broken femur, it's a foregone conclusion that LeBron James will be the most valuable player in 2010, which will only up his hype as we go into free agency...

Sixth Man

Jamal Crawford



This one is also a runaway victory. Crawford has always been a ridiculous scorer, both as a starter and off the bench. It took him signing with the Hawks for the league to really take notice. Craford's averaging 18 points per game (more than Al Horford; should he be in the ASG?) and has his way too many buzzer beaters this season. Any player that makes a team a contender with his bench play deserves 6th Man of the Year...

Most Improved Player

Josh Smith



This one was honestly a toss-up, because it could literally be any player who's seen a progression this year. I picked Josh Smith because he's shown the best improvement and has helped his team the most. Smith finally stopped shooting three pointers, started crashing the boards every game, upped his blocks and developed the mean little 10-15 foot game, all while keeping that mind-blowing athleticism up to par. Dude also posted his first career triple double and ANOTHER Atlanta Hawk who should have made the ASG over Al Horford...

Defensive Player of the Year

Gerald Wallace



Defensive Player of the Year is always one of the hardest awards to give out, since a single player's defense rarely is the difference between winning and losing. Also, defense has soooo much to do with who is around you that players get overlooked or given too much credit. Fortunately for us, that's not the case this year. Gerald Wallace is running away with this one simply because he's a 6'7" forward damn near at the top of the league in rebounding, blocks and steals, and holding down one of the stingiest defenses in the league...

Rookie of the Year

Tyreke Evans



In December, I would have handed this award to Brandon Jennings and called it a day. Jennings hit the rookie wall, while Tyreke has been playing out of his mind. He's scoring effortlessly and made the Kings entertaining to watch. Hopefully Tyreke doesn't hit a wall either, although he's caught the injury bug lately...

Curren$y - Smokee Robinson (Mixtape)

Curren$y - Smokee Robinson

I waited up all night for this one, not only because I wanted to post it, but also because Curren$y is a favorite of mine. His grind (hate that word) is something to be reckoned with. Whereas other rappers (coughcoughMickeyFactzcoughcough) take year-long breaks and tweet too much, Spitta seems to always have one foot in the studio, honing his craft. This time he jumped in the lab with the best cosign in the game, Don Cannon, to toss out another solo mixtape, Smokee Robinson. This is vintage Curren$y, to say the least. Spitta has his trademark relaxed flow, random pop culture references, and the Fly Society lifestyle that's put him on a pedestal lately. One thing about the mixtape is that Curren$y does sound old for once. It's not that he's lost a step. It's that as an avid listener, I can't help but wonder what's next for Curren$y. 2010 is still pretty young, so I guess all we can do is wait. Bumping Smokee Robinson should help pass the time just fine. Check the link, back cover and tracklist, my #dopetracks, loosies and videos...



#dopetracks:
Smash on O'Leary
Fat Raps
Yet Another Story...
Monte Carlo Mussic
Count My Money
Stay Up

Loosies:
Curren$y – Smash On O’Leary
Curren$y – Lemon Kush

Freestyle Friday (2/5)

It's Freestyle Friday time, people! This week we have Lupe doing a true freestyle while at Tony Touch's studio. Lupe has to be one of the best out with the bars he was dropping, completely off the dome, mind you. The second one is from Styles P at a recent concert. The DJ equipment kept messing up, so the Ghost did a quick cypher while the issues were worked out. Enjoy the freestyles and keep it locked to Dear Whoever...

A.D. (2010) - Trailer

Sometimes animated movies do a better job depicting stories than do live movies. There's so much power that animation can wield because of the limitations of live acting. Such is the case with the movie A.D., which brings the zombie movie to the animated realm using CGI. The trailer is only a snippet of what looks to be a truly dope movie. Check it out and stay posted for a release date...

Dear Toyota

Good mileage? CHECK. Ugly cars? CHECK. Defects & recalls?? CHECK

I've never understood America's love affair with you, Toyota. Besides good fuel mileage, what do your buckets really have to offer? Most of your cars either look exactly the same, are really boring, or look way too much like cheap-ass Lexus'. In fact, I'd say most of your appeal has to do with how boring your designs are. Year after year after year, your cars don't change for the better, or at all, for that matter. I guess you could say your cars have better value since you don't change your designs; not seeing a snazzier version of one's car a year later is a good look. Even so, with all that going for you, and brand loyalty coming out of your ass, your cars are unsafe now??


Anyone remember these???

Good God, Toyota. Over the course of the past 3 years, you guys have been locked up in litigation for a number of defects in your car. Everything from faulty floormats, to gas pedals that stick and brakes that don't work have plagued your company as of late. I know for a fact though (okay not a fact; more, a premonition) that you guys have known about all these defects for a looooong time. It just makes more sense (financial, that is) to get tied up in litigation because of dishonesty than to actually fix the defects honestly. I'd love to be a dick conspiracy theorist and espouse you guys as another evil corporation, but its more hilarious to watch your negligence unfold into more legal trouble, Toyota. At the same time, your recalls are pretty dead on with the rest of the auto industry, so it's not really anything new. At least your head man tried to cover fess up. It's hilarious when the Man shits his pants and tries to tell us it's fertilizer...

Music From My Pillow

If you leave your computer open with your iTunes up while you go to sleep, raise your hand. (raises hand) If you put your hand in the air, this might very well be the product for you. The Mu Space music player is a bed box. Inside the case is a soft bed, that doubles as an audio pillow thanks to its rotating speakers. In laymen's terms, that means it's a portable bed with music coming out of it from a regular audio port. I can already see this coming in handy for bed reading. Check some more flicktures...

Neighborhood Newsletter (2/2)

Only in America...

Cameras Roll As Obama Schools GOP

Why do people often vote against their own interests?

7 arrested, cops injured after 100-person street fight

BREAKING: Swiss warn UBS bank could collapse

Spray-on 'Liquid Glass' Could Revolutionize Manufacturing

The 12 Most Insane Things You Can Buy on the Internet

PETA Wants Groundhog Punxsutawney Phil Replaced by a Robot

Why Avatar isn't REALLY the box-office champ

Dear GOP

Bwahahahahahahahahahaha!!!! Sorry, I had to get that laugh out, you old donkeys! Let's just say it: You guys don't want Obama's initiatives to go through. It's one thing to bite your tongue of all your contentions when the entire nation is watching. It's something completely different to have Obama on your turf, with all of your opposition, with relatively few people watching. You guys had the latter at the GOP retreat this past weekend and took a worse home L than the Mavericks in 2007. Not only did you not have any evidence to back up any of your claims of Obama, you didn't have any actual plans of your own. I guess if it ain't broke, don't fix it is your policy.

To add to that, with every jab you threw, Obama had an uppercut, waiting for that jaw full of filibusters and bipartisans. He laid out his health care bill perfectly, citing the economic and social benefits the initiative could bring. The President did the same for his economic agenda, and you guys couldn't say a thing. Obama's performance was so good that some of you were questioning whether it should have even been televised. Hell, FOX News cut it off 20 minutes before it was over. That's saying a lot about you guys as a party, especially after mouthing off at the State of the Union. At least Barack had the decency to shake hands with you guys and take pictures with your families later...

Judge Alito is having a huge plate of STFU after the retreat

Greetings From: College Station, TX

via: khou.com

A fake $5 bill in which both sides apparently were copied and glued together led to the arrest of a teenager in College Station.

Police say the 17-year-old faces a misdemeanor forgery charge. He was arrested Saturday after allegedly trying to pass the crudely made currency at a drive-in restaurant.

College Station police say it appears the fake $5 was made with help from a computer scanner, then the bogus bill was trimmed and glued together. The front of the bill was longer than the back.

I'm bringing back the 'Greetings From' posts from last year. I think some of the funnier news out there needs to get the spotlight sometimes, so here goes...

Greetings from College Station, TX, where youth have gotten so desperate for cash, that they've resorted to 'making' their own money. Most people call it counterfeiting. A 17-year-old probably thought he was coming up with something new when he glued together two scanned pictures of a $5 bill, and tried to use it at a drive-thru. No offense to the boy, but wouldn't the people at the drive-thru have a fair idea of what a real bill looks like, considering they handle money all day? I guess that's a question every aspiring counterfeiter needs to ask himself before trying to pass a phony (with one side longer than the other) off. At least the kid was smart enough to use a color printer...